Robin Alexander - Murky Waters

Claire was hesitant to accept the invitation, not willing to leave home and miss Tristan’s call –– if it came at all. “I don’t know, Ellen. I have so much to do around here. I’m still unpacking.”

“You can do that anytime. It’s a beautiful day outside, and you shouldn’t waste it cooped up in that apartment.”

Claire finally relented and agreed to let Ellen pick her up. She felt foolish sitting around waiting on a call that might never come.

56

Robin Alexander

Shopping was her favorite hobby, and she would be a fool to pass up such an opportunity.

Tristan groaned and cursed when her body refused to sleep any longer. She had been determined to stay in bed and sleep the day away in her dark bedroom. When sleep eluded her altogether, she mentally coaxed her body from the bed with thoughts of coffee and something to soothe her stomach. She pulled on her robe and walked numbly into the kitchen where the sunlight sent slivers of pain through her head.

While waiting for the coffee to brew, she pushed thoughts of Claire out of her mind as she had done for most of the night. She leaned back against the countertop and lit a cigarette, and an orange tabby circled her legs, meowing loudly. “Okay, Ralph, okay, give me a second,” she scowled as she grabbed his food and poured it into his bowl.

Watching the cat eat his breakfast, she wished she would have left well enough alone and never agreed to go on a date with Claire. As bad as she wanted to have someone in her life, the thought terrified her, especially since that someone was Claire.

She had to admit to herself that having just a feline as a companion did not fulfill the part of her that longed to connect with someone else.

Grabbing her coffee, she retired to the sunroom and curled into her favorite chair. Part of her wanted to call Claire and explain why she had panicked; the other part simply wanted to hide and pretend that they had never met. “I’ve screwed up royally this time, Ralph,” she said as she scratched the purring tabby behind his ears. “She’s a sweet girl. I should have never put her in this position. She needs more than what I’m capable of offering, and I’m leading her on.”

“Well, I’ve met my match. I’ve never seen anyone shop the way you do, Claire.” Ellen grunted as she stuffed the bags into her car.

“I can’t pass up a sale, and those were some good ones. Now, after the hunt, I need to be fed. Where are you taking me for lunch?”

57

Murky Waters

“I could go for a greasy cheeseburger right now. Does that suit you?” Ellen asked as she started the car and pulled onto the roadway. “I know of a great po-boy shop just up the road.”

“Lead on, mighty warrior of the credit card. A greasy cheeseburger is just what I need, and onion rings, too.”

The pair settled down at a table in the cramped smoking section of the sandwich shop. Claire seemed to be in another world as they made the short trip from the mall. After their orders were placed and Claire was happily sipping her iced tea, Ellen decided to find out what was going on behind the hazel eyes of her friend.

“You seem a little preoccupied; are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired, I guess. I didn’t sleep much last night. ”Ellen grinned. “You’ve been out on the town partying already?”

Claire silently debated telling Ellen about her date with Tristan.

She wanted to talk to someone about her feelings, and the fact that Ellen knew Tristan would be a plus. Still, she was hesitant to come right out and tell her of her sexual orientation and that she had already been on a date with the woman she had referred to as

“pepper ass.”

“No, I had dinner with someone, and I didn’t get home until late.” Claire made the decision right then that if Ellen pressed about the date, she would tell all. She was tired of hiding who she was.

Ellen made no attempt to hide the mischievous grin that took control of her face. “Is he anyone I know? Was it Robert in accounting? He’s been asking all about you since the day you arrived.”

“Well, Ellen, not exactly.” Claire paused, trying to find the right words.

“Not exactly?”

“Ellen, I should have told you this the first day we met. I feel like I’ve been lying to you. I’m a lesbian,” Claire blurted out and waited quietly as the revelation sunk in.

“You ... don’t ... look like a lesbian,” Ellen stammered in shock.

“What’s a lesbian supposed to look like?” Claire asked with a chuckle.

58

Robin Alexander

“I don’t know. Well, maybe a mullet and some flannel for starters.”

“Oh, Ellen, it’s too hot for flannel right now, and the mullet is way out of style,” Claire shot back, unable to contain her laughter.

“Ellen, honey, there are thousands of women out there who wear makeup and feminine clothes who are lesbians. There’s no official dress code. I dress the way I like to dress.”

Ellen reached across the table and patted Claire’s hand.

“Seriously, honey, don’t worry about me judging you. I like you for who you are, and whomever you date is fine with me.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that because I went out with Tristan last night.”

“Tristan!” Ellen yelled, then looked around in embarrassment.

“Tristan? You went out on a date with Tristan already?”

“Calm down, it’s not like I attacked her ... well, not exactly.”

“You know, I am learning to pay close attention to when you say

‘not exactly.’” Ellen didn’t bother to touch her food when it was placed in front of her. Instead, she sat on pins and needles waiting for what Claire would say next.

“She took me out to dinner, and it was kind of a date. We had a great time, and she drank a little too much, so she stayed at my place until she sobered up.”

“And?” Ellen asked, waiting to hear the spicy tidbits.

“Well, I was a little tipsy, too, and I kissed her. The kiss was a little heated, and she obviously became uncomfortable. She blurted out that she wanted a relationship, and I think she said things were going a little too fast.” Claire rubbed her forehead in frustration. “I barely heard what she said because I was so surprised by her reaction. I made her drink some coffee before she left, and I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up, she was gone.

I think I have really screwed up with her.”

“Good Lord, you girls move fast. Last week, you were pissed off at her for being rude, and last night, you go out on a date and stick your tongue down her throat.” Ellen laughed and blotted her upper lip, which had begun to sweat.

“That’s the problem. I’m not usually that forward, but I was tipsy, and my libido got away with me. I really like her, Ellen; she’s such a sweetie when she is away from work. I don’t know how to fix this.”

59

Murky Waters

“I don’t know much about her personal life other than the fact that she’s a lesbian, but I have heard rumors of her nights on the town. Tanya in personnel is also a lesbian, and she has told stories of Tristan’s voracious appetite for women. Frankly, I’m a little surprised that she flipped out over a kiss. The fact that she mentioned something about wanting a relationship might mean that she really does want to settle down. Maybe she really likes you, too, and wants something more substantial.”

“You didn’t see the look in her eyes. It was stark terror. I thought I was going to have to pin her down just to keep her there long enough to sober up. I want to talk to her about it, but I’m afraid it’ll just make things worse.”

“You’ll just worry yourself silly if you don’t.” Finally finding her appetite, Ellen took a bite of her food. “You went on a date with Tristan. I’m still floored. Here I was thinking I would have to be a referee, and you two have gone out on your first date.”