Danielle Steel - A Good Woman

She was floating that night when she went back to her cell, and Dr. de Bré had said he would write to the school to accept the place for her. She had to send them some money by the first of January, which wasn’t a problem. She could pay the rest of the tuition for the first year when she got there. Her mind was chock-full of excitement and plans. Her head was spinning, and she was awake most of the night, thinking about it. She remembered telling Josiah once that she wanted to dissect a cadaver, and now she would, and nothing and no one could stop her. She had already learned a great deal more about anatomy after working in the operating room at the Abbey, particularly with Dr. de Bré. He was always careful to teach her as he went along, if the case wasn’t too dire. And just watching him operate was an honor.

She told no one her plans until the day before Christmas, when she finally told the head nurse, who was stunned, but thought it an excellent idea.

“Good heavens,” she said, smiling at her, “I thought you’d be a nurse. I never thought you’d want to be a doctor. But why not? Dr. Inglis is one of the best. So could you be one day,” she said proudly, as though she’d thought of it herself. “What a good thing for Dr. de Bré to do. I heartily approve.”

Annabelle had been there for three months by then, and had proven herself in every way. She hadn’t really had time to make friends, since she worked all the time, even when she didn’t have to. But there were so many wounded, and so much work to do for all of them. She even drove one of the ambulances from time to time when they needed her to. She was willing to do it all. She had driven closer to the front to pick up men from the field hospitals there and brought them back to the Abbey. The sound of the guns nearby had been impressive, and reminded her of how close the fighting was. In a way, she felt guilty leaving them all to go to medical school in Nice, but it was such an exciting prospect there was no way she could resist it. It was more than a little daunting knowing that she would be twentyeight when she was finished. It seemed like a long time to her, but she had so much to learn in the meantime. She couldn’t imagine cramming it all into six years.

She ran into Edwina outside their cells on Christmas morning, they hugged each other, and Annabelle told her she was leaving in three weeks. And Edwina looked instantly disappointed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I always want to spend time with you, and chat, but we never get to it, and now you’re going.” She had hoped they would be friends, but none of them had time. There was always too much work. It made Annabelle think of Hortie then, and the last time they’d met, and her terrible sense of betrayal. Hortie had been all too willing to turn her back on her oldest and dearest friend, and to say that James wouldn’t allow her to see Annabelle again. It was all part of why she had decided to come to France. She had lost too many people, and Hortie had been the last straw. It made her look at Edwina with a gentle smile, and the memory of regret, and a beloved friendship lost.

“Maybe I can come back to work here when they give us time off. I don’t know if they have holidays in medical school, but they must,” Annabelle said hopefully. She wanted to see them all again. In some ways, she didn’t want to leave. She had been happy here for three months, as much as one could be among such grievously wounded men, but the camaraderie among the staff had been tremendous.

“You’re going to medical school?” Edwina looked stunned. She’d had no idea.

“Dr. de Bré arranged it,” Annabelle said with dancing eyes. She got more excited every day. “I never thought something like this could happen to me,” she added, with a look of dazed amazement.

“What did your family say?” Edwina asked with interest, as a cloud passed over Annabelle’s face, which Edwina didn’t understand. “Do they mind your staying over here? They must worry about you, being so close to the front.” If the lines shifted and they got overrun, all of them could have been taken prisoner. It was a risk they didn’t allow themselves to think about once they were there, but the threat was real. Edwina’s parents had been nervous about her coming, particularly her mother, but she had come anyway. Both her brothers were in the war and she wanted to be part of it too.

“I don’t have any family,” Annabelle said quietly. “I lost them all. My mother died a year ago, and my father and brother on the Titanic. ” She didn’t mention Josiah, who had been yet another loss in her life, but no one here knew she had been married, so there was no way to explain it, and she didn’t want to anyway. It was a silent loss she bore alone, and always would.

“I’m so sorry,” Edwina said softly. “I didn’t know.” None of them ever had time to share their histories, or much else, just the occasional cup of tea, and a greeting here and there. There was so much else to do, there was rarely time for niceties, or the kind of opportunities that in other circumstances allowed one to build friendships. They just worked side by side until they nearly dropped, and then went to bed on their mattresses on the floor in their tiny old nuns’ cells. The most exciting thing they got to do was sneak the occasional cigarette and giggle about it. Annabelle had tried them a few times, just to be sociable, but she didn’t like them much.

They chatted for a few more minutes and Edwina wished her a happy Christmas and luck at school. They promised to spend a few minutes together, or meet in the mess hall, before she left, but neither of them knew if it would really happen. And then they went their separate ways to the wards where they worked. Christmas was just another day caring for the sick and wounded. There were no celebrations, no carols, no gifts. There was a cease-fire for the day, but by six o’clock that night the Germans had violated it, and more men came in with missing limbs that night. It was an endless stream of human suffering whatever day of the year.

Annabelle was grateful to work as hard as she did that day. It kept her from thinking of all the people she had loved and lost, two of them only that year. She wouldn’t allow herself to think of Christmas Eve at her mother’s house the year before. It was just too painful. And soon she would begin a whole new life in Nice. She forced herself to focus on that whenever she had a break that day, which wasn’t often. She concentrated on what medical school would be like, but every now and then visions of her mother intruded anyway, or the sound of her voice…the last time she had seen her… and she thought of it as she lay on her mattress that night, wondering what her mother would think of everything that had happened in the past year. She hoped that wherever she was, watching over her, she would be proud when Annabelle became a doctor. She knew her mother probably wouldn’t have approved. But what else did she have now? And who? Becoming a doctor was Annabelle’s only dream, her only hope of an entirely new life.

Chapter 16

Annabelle’s departure went unnoticed the day she left the hospital at the Abbaye de Royaumont in Asnières. She had gone to say good-bye to Dr. de Bré, and to thank him, the day before, and also made her farewell to the head nurse. Other than that, she had no one to say good-bye to, except Edwina, whom she saw for a few minutes that morning. They wished each other luck, and said they hoped to meet again. And then Annabelle got into the truck that drove her to the station. She was taking the train to Nice, which was a long, drawn-out process. All the routes that went too near the front had been rerouted in circuitous ways, and most of the trains had been commandeered by the army.