Danielle Steel - Accident

“I like him too …and I like Bjorn …but I like Daddy better.”

“Your daddy will always be your daddy. Nothing's ever going to change that.”

“Are you and Dad going to get divorced?” he asked worriedly. That really would mean it was all over. A lot of his friends' parents had gotten divorced, and some of them had remarried. He knew what that meant.

“I don't know.” In the month that he'd been gone, neither of them had called a lawyer. Brad had asked her to, and Stephanie was pushing him, but Page just couldn't bring herself to do it. Trygve had offered her the name of his, but she kept saying she was too busy to call. But she knew that one of these days, she'd have to.

Brad reminded her of it too the next time she saw him at the hospital. He came by one afternoon, he hadn't seen Allie in a week, and when she looked up, Page was suddenly startled to see him.

“Hi, how are you?” she said uncomfortably, trying to pretend she didn't feel awkward.

“Fine.” He smiled down at her, looking better than ever. He was an awesome looking man, sometimes she let herself forget that. “How's Al-lie?”

“Not much change. But she's still moving and making little sounds. It's hard to know what it means.” But the scans showed movement when Page said her name, she wanted to believe that that meant something too. But who knew? She was still sleeping, and the respirator still kept her breathing.

He stayed for as long as he could. Five minutes was his limit, and then he asked her to come out in the hall of the ICU and talk to him for a minute.

“You're looking good,” he said, watching her closely. She looked less tortured than she had, and happier, but there was still something sad in her eyes when he saw her. He wasn't sure if it was because of Allyson, or him, and a part of him still wanted to take her in his arms, and hold her, but he knew he couldn't. Besides, Stephanie would have killed him if she knew. She was ferocious with him, she said she wouldn't put up with any cheating on his part, not even once. She wasn't Page, in a lot of ways, and sometimes Brad really missed her. “Are you okay?”

“Hanging in there.” She was happy with Trygve, and hopeful with Allyson, but life wasn't what it had once been, with Allyson still so sick, and a divorce to be gotten through, and it made her sad when she saw him. Her life was reduced to such a small scale now. Hospital and home, and an occasional dinner with Trygve. There were no horizons to look toward anymore, except the constant hope that Allie would come out of her coma.

“I wanted to talk to you, and I haven't had time to phone. I think it's time to call our lawyers.” He said it apologetically and he felt like a total bastard when he saw the look in her eyes. She looked like Andy.

“You're right,” she agreed. But she hated to do it. It was the final death knoll to their marriage.

“There's no point hanging on. It's just painful for us, and I think it creates false hope for Andy. I think he'll adjust better if he knows this is it. And maybe we will too, who knows? You have a right to more than this too, you know,” he reminded her, and she nodded, not disagreeing with him. She had a right to a family, and Allie whole again, and a husband. She had a right to a lot of things. But whether or not she got them was another story.

“You're sure,” she asked quietly. “About the divorce I mean.” He nodded, and she inclined her head. She understood. She accepted it. It was over.

He wanted to marry Stephanie, to start a new life with her, and maybe this time, do it better.

“It's time,” he said sadly. “Do you have someone to call?”

“I have a name, but I haven't bothered to call him. I didn't realize you were this anxious.” There was an edge to her voice as she said it. And she was suddenly angry that he had come to tell her this here. Everything terrible had happened to her in this hospital …but good things had too …there was Trygve …

“We'll be divorced by the end of the year,” Brad said soberly, as Page mulled it over in silence. “Probably before Christmas.” Stephanie wanted to get married on Christmas Eve, if the divorce came through in time, and it might just, if they hurried.

“I can think of other things I'd rather put on my Christmas list,” she said ruefully. And then she looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I'll call the attorney in the morning.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” He hesitated for a moment then, as though he wanted to say more, but wasn't sure how to do it. “I'm sorry, Page …”

“Yeah, so am I.” She touched his hand, and she went back to the ICU again. But Allie didn't stir all day, not even one little moan or rustle. It was as though she knew her mother was depressed, and she was leaving her alone. Page just sat there all day and watched her. And that night, when she put Andy to bed, she didn't even call Trygve. She needed one last moment to mourn for Brad before she moved ahead into the future.

She felt better the next day, and she was anxious to talk to him. Trygve had sensed that something was bothering her, and she told him about her conversation with Brad. As usual, he was sympathetic. He knew how hard it was, and he didn't think it was a reflection on them, it was just very painful terminating a marriage. He gave her the name of the attorney again, and then she called and made an appointment.

And when she saw the lawyer, he told her what Brad had said, that she'd be divorced by Christmas. Trygve picked her up afterward, and they went out to dinner and talked that night. By then, she felt a little better. And as they sat at their favorite table at the Silver Dove, they looked like two beautiful blond Scandinavians. People commented frequently on how much they looked alike, and asked if they were brother and sister. There was something interesting about that, Page had always had a theory that married people looked alike, but she and Brad certainly didn't.

They talked for hours that night, about their lives, and their marriages, and their children …and their hopes for the future.

“You're the first person I've known who made me want to get married again.” And from the look in his eyes, she knew he meant it. It still seemed too soon to both of them, but the accident had changed everything and made time move so much more quickly. Everything was propelled at a great speed as they fought for their survival.

“I think you know when it's right. I think you feel it,” he said with quiet assurance. “I knew almost right away in the hospital. I just didn't understand how I could feel something like that. You were married …and then everything changed. Page, when I look at you, I know I could be happy with you for the rest of my life. And I think you know it too.” She didn't deny it. She felt that too, but it was very scary.

“How could I be so wrong before, and so right now? Why would I be smarter now?” she said, looking worried.

“I don't think it has to do with smart. I think it has to do with something you know in your stomach …your heart …your gut …whatever you want to call it. I always knew with Dana it was wrong. I knew it right from the beginning, and so did she. She tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't let her.”

“It's funny,” she thought back, “I tried to do that with Brad too. I didn't feel ready. I was still reverberating from everything that had happened with my family, but he wanted to get married and come to California. I was scared, but I thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe I was just very stupid.”

“No, it was right at the time. It wouldn't have lasted as long as it did if it weren't.” Her marriage to Brad had never been as rocky as his to Dana. “I don't know how to explain it to you, I just know this is right. And I don't want to waste any more time. I feel like I've wasted half my life with the wrong woman.” And then he took a breath and forced himself to slow down. “But I don't want to rush you. However long it takes for you. I'll be here.”