Danielle Steel: Bungalow 2

“You're going to hate being a Marin housewife after this. Every day you're going to think that you could have been there, working on a movie that will probably win an Academy Award. You can't let the kids make this decision, Tanya. You have to make it.”

“I already did. I vote for staying home, and doing what I do now, with the people I love.”

“We'll still love you if you go to L.A. I will. And even Megan will forgive you. She'll be very proud. We all will.”

“No,” Tanya said again, and meant it, as she and Peter looked at each other for a long time. “Sometimes you have to give up something you want, because it's the right thing to do for the people you love.”

“I want you to do this,” he said gently. “I know how important it could be for you. I don't want you to give that up, for me or the kids. It would be wrong. Very wrong. I'd never forgive myself if I kept you from this.”

Tanya looked at him with frightened eyes. “What if it screws up our marriage? It might be even harder than we think,” and she expected it to be very hard.

“Unless you fall in love with some handsome movie star, I can't see it screwing anything up between us, Tan. Can you? I'll just be sitting here waiting for you.”

“I would miss you unbearably,” she said, as a tear slid down her cheek. She felt like a kid being sent away to school, for their own good. She didn't want to leave him. She loved the idea of writing the script, but she was scared. She hadn't been out in the world on her own in twenty years.

“I'd miss you, too,” Peter said honestly. “But sometimes, Tan, you have to be brave enough to grow. You have a right to do something like this, without it costing you anything. I wouldn't love you less for doing this. I would be very, very proud of you, and I'd love you more.”

“I'm scared,” she whispered, as she clung to him, and tears began to pour down her face. “And what if I can't do it? This isn't some silly daytime soap, this is the big leagues. What if I'm only a minor league player?”

“You're not, baby. I know that. And so do you, I hope. That's why I want you to do it. You need to spread your wings and fly. You've been preparing for this for so many years. Don't deprive yourself of it, for me or the kids. Go for it,” he said, and kissed her hard. It was the greatest gift he could give to her, and as Tanya looked at him through her tears, she could see that there were tears in his eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered to him as he held her, “so much …oh Peter … I'm so afraid …”

“Don't be, sweetheart. I'll be here waiting for you, and so will the kids … even Megan … we'll come down and visit you, and you'll be home on weekends. If you get stuck there, we'll come down. Or at least I will for sure. It'll be over before you know it, and you'll be glad you did it.” It was the most generous gesture she had ever known.

“You're the most remarkable man in the world, Peter Harris. I love you so much …”

“Just remember that when movie stars start knocking on your door.”

“They won't,” she said, continuing to cry, “and I don't care if they do. I could never love anyone in the whole world as I do you.”

“Me too,” he said, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. “Will you do it, Tan? Hit a home run for the team.” He pulled away so he could look into her eyes. Her eyes were terrified when they met his. She didn't say a word to him. All she did was nod, cry harder, and cling to him like a frightened child, afraid of leaving home.

Chapter 3

They broke the news to the children at Lake Tahoe in August. The reactions were similar to what they had been previously. Molly was supportive and proud of her, Jason couldn't wait to visit her. And Megan didn't speak to her for the next three weeks. She told her in a venomous tone that she would never forgive her, and every time Tanya saw her, she was crying. Megan said it was the worst thing that had ever happened to her in her life. Her mother was abandoning her. A hundred times in the four weeks they were there, Tanya said she was going to call Walt and tell him she was backing out. But Peter wouldn't let her. He said that Megan would get over it, and it was good that she was venting. Tanya felt like a child abuser every time she looked at her, and cried nearly as often as Megan did.

It was a bittersweet time, Jason's last summer before college. His friends came and went, driving up from the city to stay with them. And every moment Tanya spent with him and his father seemed precious now. She had some wonderful long talks with Molly as they went on hikes. Megan avoided them, whenever their mother was around. She only started speaking to her again, and only out of dire necessity, in the last few days before they went home. They had a big family barbecue and invited friends on the last night.

Afterward she and Peter chatted as they cleaned up. She only had ten days left before she had to leave for L.A. Tanya had told Douglas Wayne that she couldn't come to L.A. until after she dropped her son off at school. She wanted to be there with Peter to settle him into his dorm. The girls were coming, too, and after that Peter would drive them home. Tanya was being met by a limo at the Santa Barbara Biltmore, and driven to L.A. Their tearful goodbyes would be there, if Megan didn't kill her first.

The last days before Tanya and Jason left were tough. She helped him pack his bags, and got everything ready for him for school. Laptop, bicycle, sound system, sheets, blankets, pillows, bedspread, photographs of the family, sports equipment, some things to hang on his walls, a desk lamp, and rug. She wasn't sure if she was more upset about dropping Jason off, or leaving them after that herself. She was taking far fewer things than she packed for him. She had no plans to do anything but work. She packed one hanging bag and a small suitcase, mostly with running shoes, sweatshirts, and jeans. She thought about it long and hard and finally took one pair of decent slacks, two cashmere sweaters, and a black cocktail dress, in case she had to go to some formal event with the cast. And she packed a million pictures of the kids in frames to put all over her bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She already knew she was going to be staying in Bungalow 2, her home for the next many months. It had two bedrooms so the kids could visit her, a small office, a living room, and a dining room, with a little pantry kitchen set up, although she couldn't imagine cooking for herself while she was there. It was going to be the first time she lived alone in twenty years. She couldn't even imagine it, and Peter teased that both of them were going off to school.

He hadn't wavered for a single second. He still insisted that it was going to be one of the greatest things that had ever happened to her. She wished she could agree. Right now all she could think about was how much she would miss her children and him. She would have backed out if she hadn't already signed the contract, and they hadn't sent the check. Her agent Walt had been ecstatic and couldn't believe she'd come to her senses. He had been sure she wouldn't do it, and he called Peter himself to tell him he was a hero for talking her into it and letting her go. Walt said he was a “mensch,” and Tanya agreed, a man of strength, dignity, and integrity. He had put her best interests ahead of his own, and even their family's, and he had no doubt whatsoever that he and the children could manage. He had told Megan and Molly that again and again. Molly had promised to do everything she could to help, although she seemed more tearful lately, and stayed close to her mother, offering to help her, pack for her, and do errands with her. She couldn't get enough of Tanya suddenly, and Tanya was reminded of when Molly was little and they had been inseparable. Megan had always been more independent, and she said not a word to her mother as they drove down to Santa Barbara. She just sat staring out the window, looking like someone had died, while Molly held her sister's hand.