Danielle Steel - Bungalow 2

“It's pretty amazing,” he agreed, “but you look like you're doing all right. Are you?” he asked with a look of concern. Sometimes, he could be a very nice man, especially on home turf. Out in the world, at a conference table or on a movie set, he could be tough as nails.

“I think I am. I'm not sure what the operating standard is here. How nuts am I supposed to feel? Because sometimes I feel pretty nuts. I wake up and think I dreamed it, and then the wrecking ball hits my gut again, and I remember that it's real. It's a pretty nasty way to wake up.”

“I've had times like that myself,” he confessed. “We all do. The trick is to get through them with a minimum of bitterness and damage. That's not as easy as it sounds. I'm still bitter about some of the bad experiences in my life, and scared to death as a result. I imagine you must feel the same. It sounds like all of it came as a big surprise.”

“It did. I thought I was happily married. Shows what I know. Don't ever ask me for relationship advice. I still think my husband …my ex -husband,” she said with effort, “went a little nuts. Not to mention my best friend, who demonstrated a total lack of integrity. As you put it, it was very disappointing.”

“Have you been out with anyone since?” He was always curious about her, and intrigued. He loved how bright she was. And how well she wrote.

She laughed. “That would be like asking Hiroshima survivors if they've been to any good bombings lately. I'm not exactly anxious to try again. This may have cured me forever. My daughter was telling me last night that I need to start dating. I don't think so,” she said, staring at the pool and looking dazed, thinking back over the past few months. It was mind-blowing when she really thought about it. She tried not to most of the time. “At my age I don't need to get married again. I don't want more kids. And I'm not even sure I want to date. In fact, I'm almost positive I don't. I don't want to take the risk of getting my heart broken again. What's the point?”

“You can't go into religious orders either. And I don't imagine you want to be alone for the rest of your life.” He smiled gently at her. “It would be a terrible waste. You'll have to get brave again one of these days.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” She stared at the water again and didn't answer.

“I can't think of a good answer in either case.”

“That means you're not ready,” he said practically, and she nodded. It was weird discussing her dating life with him, or lack of one.

“That would be a major understatement, that I'm not ready. I was feeling like a candidate for the Special Olympics for a while.” Peter had knocked her squarely on her ass. She had been feeling winded ever since, none of which was surprising. “Dating doesn't look like all that much fun anyway. Just a lot of people getting dressed up and dicking each other around. I didn't even like dating when I was in college. People were always breaking promises, canceling dates, or standing me up. I hated it until I met Peter.” And in the end he had turned out to be the promise-breaker of all time, and along with his promises, he broke her heart.

“It's nice going out with the right person from time to time,” he encouraged her. He didn't want constant companionship either. Just the company of intelligent women once in a while, and occasionally extremely glamorous ones. He loved showing them off, as sort of accessories for him. Tanya thought of him more as a solitary man, after knowing him to some degree for the past year. She liked their sushi and Chinese takeout dinners best of all, where they discussed problems with the script and various aspects of their work.

“Look at people like Jean Amber and Ned Bright. They got all excited on the set, had a hot romance, and then wound up in a big fight in the press in July. How much fun is that?” Douglas laughed at her assessment of it. Admittedly, they had made a mess, but they were both famous for it, and they were hot young stars.

“I don't suggest you date boys that age,” he laughed at her, “or actors of any age. They're all slightly nuts. And incredibly self-centered. And well known for sloppy behavior. I was thinking of someone more respectable, of a more reasonable age.”

“Are men ever reasonable?” she said sadly. “I thought Peter was, and look what he did. How reasonable was that?”

“People go crazy sometimes. It probably destabilized him when you came to work down here. Not that that's an excuse.”

“She lived next door, and she helped him with the kids while I was gone. He wound up thinking they had more in common because she was there and I wasn't. He was afraid I would want all this as a permanent way of life. He was convinced I would come back here to do another film. And the stupid thing is that I did, but only because he dumped me for someone else, and now I have nothing else to do, so I came back.”

“I thought it was because you were so impressed by the picture we wanted to make,” he chided her gently, and she looked embarrassed as they both laughed.

“Well, that too. But I wouldn't have done another picture if I were still married. I wanted to go home.”

“I know you did. I think he did you a big favor, Tanya. I hope you'll see it as that one day. You don't belong there. You belong here. You're much too sophisticated to be stuck up there in the wilds of Marin.”

“It was nice when the kids were growing up,” she said wistfully. “I have to admit that now I'd be a little bored there. But it's a great place to be married and raise kids.”

“Since you're doing neither these days, I think you're much better off here. It's a far more interesting life for you. And we're going to get you an Oscar one of these days.”

“From your mouth to God's ears,” she laughed. It was an expression she had learned from Max. He had called her that week and invited her to lunch. “Winning an Oscar would really be fun,” she said, and he laughed.

“Now that's a vast understatement. It's fantastic. Major ego food to be recognized by your peers and acknowledged as the best in your field. You deserve one for Mantra , but the competition may be too stiff this year. If so, I think Gone ought to do it for you. I'm counting on it.”

“Thank you, Douglas,” she said quietly, “for the opportunities you've given me. I really appreciate it. I'm glad I came back to work on another picture with you.” They both knew this one was going to be special, even more than the previous one.

“I can hardly wait to start shooting. And I'm glad you're on this one, too. I think it's going to be an extraordinary movie, in great part thanks to your script.” He had been very impressed by what she'd done so far. The director had been extremely excited about it, too. Tanya had learned a lot in the past year, and honed her screenwriting skills to a remarkable degree. “We make a very good team,” he said, glancing admiringly at her. “In fact,” he said, so quietly she almost didn't hear him, “I've been thinking that we might make a very good team in other ways as well.” For a moment, she had no idea what he meant, but his gaze never wavered from hers as they sat next to his pool. She was in his private world, behind the walls he used to keep everyone out. “Tanya, you're an amazing woman. I think we have a lot to bring each other. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime, for more than just a sushi dinner. I go to some events I believe you might enjoy. Would you do me the honor of going with me sometime?” She was startled by what he was asking her. He was inquiring in a very proper way if she would consider dating him. She sat staring at him, somewhat stunned, and had no idea what to say. “I promise, I'll take very good care of you.”