Danielle Steel - Changes

CHAPTER 26

Peter and Mel spent Christmas with their children in the house on Copa de Oro Drive, and Mrs. Hahn cooked them a wonderful Christmas dinner, of goose and wild rice, a chestnut puree, little peas and onions, and mince pie and plum pudding for dessert.

“No turkey this year?” Jessica looked surprised as they came down to dinner, and when she got one whiff of the goose, Val burst into tears and ran upstairs, but when Mel started to go comfort her, Mark stopped her.

“I'll do it, Mel.” He seemed strangely quiet, but no one except Jessica noticed. Val seemed to cry a lot lately, or Jess thought so at least, and she had heard her crying in her bed the night before, but Val wouldn't tell her what was wrong, and Jessie didn't want to upset her mother, who hadn't seemed to notice anything wrong with Val.

“Thanks, Mark.” And then she turned to Peter. “I'm sorry. I think everyone's tired.”

He nodded, not looking worried. Their traditions were new to the twins. They had goose every year, thanks to Mrs. Hahn in recent times and Anne before that. They only ate turkey on Thanksgiving. And on Easter they had ham.

But when Mrs. Hahn served the mince pie Jessie and Val only picked at it, longing for the hot apple pie they always had in New York at Christmas. Even the tree looked strange to them. There were tiny flashing lights on it and only large gold balls. All of their antique Christmas decorations they had spent years collecting and loved, and multi-colored lights, had gone into storage with the rest of their things.

“I'm stuffed.” Mel looked at Peter in despair as they left the table. The only good thing she could say about Mrs. Hahn was that her cooking was superb. It had been a lavish meal, and they all felt full as they went to sit in the living room. And then, as Mel looked around at her new home, she realized that there were still all the same pictures of Anne around, and one oil portrait over a narrow French table. Peter noticed her looking at the photos of Anne, and he tensed for a moment, wondering if she would say something. But she didn't. She silently made a mental note to put them away when they came back from their honeymoon on the morning of New Year's Eve.

Peter had suggested Puerto Vallarta, one of his favorite places, and they were taking all five children with them, although Mel was nervous about taking Matt to Mexico, in case he got sick. The others were old enough to be careful, but she'd have to watch Matt. They had decided mat it wouldn't be diplomatic to leave the children so soon. They could take a trip alone later, maybe to Europe, or Hawaii, depending on when they could get away. Under her new contract, Mel no longer had two months off as she had in New York. She had only one and a maternity leave. She had been amused when they insisted on putting it in the contract. She had had all the babies she was going to have, and all at once too. She had laughed again when she told Peter about it, and he teased her about getting her pregnant if she didn't behave. In answer to which she had teasingly menaced him with pinking shears.

As they sat in the living room on Christmas night, Mel groaned at the thought of packing again. It seemed as though she had done nothing but for the past month but at least she wouldn't need much in Puerto Vallarta, and all the children were excited about going. And that night there was much scurrying between rooms as they giggled and teased and took things from each other, and Matt bounced on Val's bed, and Pam on some of Jessica's sweaters, at her new sister's invitation.

Peter and Mel could hear the racket from their room and Mel smiled.” I think they're gonna make it.” But she was still aware of a certain mild tension between the two groups. There was something very real about all this, and there was no escaping it now.

“You worry about them too much, Mel. They're fine,” he told her with a smile as he answered the ringing telephone. And then he sat down at his desk with a frown, with the phone still in his hand as he asked a series of rapid-fire questions. He set the phone down again and grabbed his jacket from a chair, explaining quickly to Mel what had happened. “It's Marie. She's rejecting again.”

“Is it serious?”

He nodded, his face pale. “She's in a coma. I don't know why they didn't call me earlier today. They gave me some bullshit story about it being Christmas and not wanting to disturb me since I wasn't on call. God damn it.” He stood in the doorway looking unhappily at Mel. “I'll be home when I can.”

As he left, she saw their trip to Mexico going out the window. When the children came to say good night a while later, she didn't say anything, not wanting to upset them. She said only that he'd gone to the hospital to check on a patient. But once they'd left the room again, she found herself thinking about Marie, and praying for her. Peter never called to give her any news. And at last, at two thirty, Mel gave up and went to bed, hoping he'd be able to leave on the trip. Otherwise they would have to cancel it. She didn't want to leave without him. This was their honeymoon.

She felt him slip into bed beside her just after five o'clock, and when she reached out to him he felt distant and stiff. It was so unlike him that she opened an eye, and then moved closer to him.

“Hi, sweetheart. Everything all right?” He didn't answer, and she opened both eyes. Something was wrong. “Peter?”

“She died at four o'clock. We opened her up and she was just too far gone. She had the worst case of hardening of the arteries I've ever seen, and with a new heart, dammit.” It was obvious that he blamed himself. They had given her seven months and no more, but it was seven months more than she would have had without it.

“I'm sorry.” There seemed to be so little she could say, and he was shutting her out. He resisted all her efforts to console him. And finally at six o'clock he got out of bed. “You should try to get some sleep before we leave.” Her voice was gentle and she was obviously worried about him. But she felt it too. Marie had been someone important to them both, right from the first. Mel had watched the transplant. And she felt the girl's loss now. But she was not prepared for what Peter said next. He sounded like an angry unhappy child.

“I' m not going. You take the children.” He looked petulant and upset as he sat down heavily in a chair in their bedroom, and as it was still dark outside, Mel turned on a light to see him better. He looked exhausted and there were dark circles under his eyes. It was a hell of a final note to their wedding and a rotten beginning for their honeymoon.

“There's nothing you can do here. And we won't go without you.”

“I' m not in the mood, Mel.”

“That's not fair. The children will be so disappointed, and it's our honeymoon.” He was being unreasonable, but she knew that he was too tired to make much sense. “Peter, please …”

“Dammit”—he leapt to his feet, glaring at her—“how would you feel? Seven lousy months, that's all … that's all I gave her.”

“You're not God, Peter. You did what you know how to do, and you did it brilliantly. But God makes those decisions, you don't.”

“Bullshit! We should have done better than that.”

“Well, you didn't dammit, and she's dead.” Now Mel was shouting too. “And you can't stay here and sulk about it, you have a responsibility to us too.” He glared at her and stalked out of the room, but he came back half an hour later with two cups of coffee. They didn't have to be at the airport until noon so there was still time to convince him. He handed Mel a cup of the steaming brew with a sour look and she looked into his eyes as she thanked him.