Danielle Steel - Changes

“I can't.”

“But the kids could.” It seemed like a great idea to her. “Pam and Matt could. Mark will be through his job around then too. He could fly back for the weekend with you. The other two could come ahead.”

“It's a thought.” He smiled at her, not really thinking of the kids just then, but only of her. He wanted desperately to stay with her, but there was no way they could. “I love you so much, Mel.”

“I love you too.” And they lay back in each other's arms again and made love on and off until the dawn. They both looked depressed the next morning when they got up in their separate rooms. There would be no lovemaking again that night, no long walks in the woods or in fields of flowers. It was time to go home again. Back to reality, and clinging to him on the phone. But she brought up her idea for Labor Day and the kids cheered. “That does it then.” She looked victoriously at Peter and he laughed. He looked happy about the vacation too.

“All right. You win. We'll come.”

“Hurray!” You could hear their shouts halfway up the mountainside, and they chattered all the way from Aspen to Denver on the flight. The kids sat in one row straight across, and Peter and Mel sat alone for the last time. And in Denver, everybody cried, and Peter looked into Mel's eyes and whispered to her.

“I love you, Mel. Don't ever forget that.”

“Remember that I love you too.” The kids pretended not to watch, but Val and Mark smiled, and Pam turned away so as not to see, but she and Jessica were holding hands, which gave Pam some comfort. And Matt gave Mel a great big good-bye kiss.

“I love you, Mel!”

“I love you too.” She tore her eyes from his, and kissed each of the children, and told Pam, looking into her eyes. “Take good care of your dad.” She wanted to add “for me.”

“I will.” There was a new gentleness in Pam's voice, and they were all subdued as they went their separate ways and Matthew cried openly as his father led him to their plane.

“I want them to come with us.”

“You'll be seeing them again soon.”

“When?”

“In a few weeks, Matt.” Peter glanced at Mark then and saw a dreamy expression on his face. He wondered just how much had happened between him and Val but figured that it couldn't be much. And on the plane that left for Boston at the same time as the flight to L.A., Jessica and Val barely spoke, and Mel looked out the window seeing nothing there except a vision of Peter's face. Three weeks till Labor Day seemed endless to her, and then what? An endless year until Aspen again? It was madness they had inflicted on themselves, but Mel knew, as well as Peter did on the flight to L. A., that for them it was too late to turn back now.

CHAPTER 22

The weeks at Martha's Vineyard seemed to drag by for them all once they returned from Aspen. It was nothing like their time there in July, when they threw themselves wholeheartedly into the amusement of the summer. Instead, once they got back, Val seemed to spend all her time staring into space, and Mel spent most of hers on the phone, and Jessica teased them both.

“Boy, you two sure are a lot of fun.” Valerie almost killed herself getting to the mailbox every day to check for letters from Mark, and each time Mel left the house she would come back and casually ask, “Anyone call?” and both girls would laugh. Only Raquel seemed to treat it all like a serious illness that had descended on their home. She warned them all that in six months … they'd see! She never finished her warnings, but they sounded ominous to everyone, and Mel always listened to her with amusement.

“Now, Raquel, relax!”

“This time it's serious, Mrs. Mel.”

“Yes, it is. But serious and terminal aren't the same.”

Grant called too to say hello. He was madly in love with the weather girl on Channel 5, and there was also a cute little redheaded female jockey in White Plains, not to mention some staggeringly sexy Cuban girl. Mel teased him about it and told him to act his age, and she finally told him about Peter, or rather the girls did. And he sounded hurt when Mel got back on the phone.

“You couldn't have told me yourself? I thought we were friends.”

“We are, but I needed time to think this thing out.”

Grant sounded surprised. “Is it as serious as that?”

“It could be, but we haven't solved the problem of distance yet.”

“Distance?” And then suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. “You little minx, it's the heart surgeon on the West Coast, isn't it?”

She grinned like a little kid and giggled into the phone.

“You jerk. Now what are you going to do? You're here, he's there.”

“I haven't figured that out yet.”

“What's to figure out, Mel? You've done it again, found yourself the ‘Impossible Dream.’ Neither of you is going to quit your job for chrissake, and you're both anchored where you are. My friend, you've done it again. You're playing it safe.”

His words depressed her long after she got off the phone, and she spent days wondering if what he said was true. Was she really involved in just another impossible romance?

As if to validate her feelings she dialed Peter in California.

He was excited about Marie's progress, he had seen her that day and she was doing very well. And Mel found herself praying that no new transplant patient would come on the scene in the next week, or he wouldn't be able to fly east for the Labor Day weekend.

He reported that Pam and Matt were ready for the trip east, and Matthew was so excited he could hardly see straight.

“What about Pam?”

“She's more outwardly subdued than Matt, but she's just as excited as he is.”

“So are the girls. They can hardly wait until they get here.” They had made dozens of plans to include Pam, and Mel was going to take charge of Matthew. Even Raquel was excited about the prospective visits, although she pretended to complain about the extra work. And they had spent hours trying to work out the sleeping arrangements. They had finally decided that Mark would sleep on a sleeping bag on the living room couch. Pam would sleep on a rollaway bed in the twins' room, Matt would sleep in the twin bed in Raquel's, and when he came, Peter would have the guest room. It had taken some doing, but the house would accommodate them all.

When Pam and Matthew arrived, there was an aura of festivity throughout the whole house, and all the children went down on the beach as Mel watched them join the others they met there every day. The boy Val had discovered at the beginning of the summer no longer held an interest for her, and there were half a dozen madly in love with Jess, who wouldn't give any of them the time of day. One or two of them thought Pam a remarkably attractive girl, and no one could believe she was only fourteen. She was so tall and she looked so much older, and for the whole week, Mel was happy with her brood of four and reported to Peter twice a day.

“I wish you'd hurry up and get here.”

“So do I. And Mark is practically catatonic with anticipation.” But the night before they were due to leave L.A. the whole trip almost went down the drain. A young woman came in with rejection of the transplant that had been done four months before, and a severe infection. Mel heard the news with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she didn't press Peter about the trip, or urge him to leave the woman in the care of his very capable colleagues. And as it turned out, the poor woman died before morning. He called Mel about it very depressed the next day.