Danielle Steel - Changes

“And what makes you think that?” He was shouting now. “Do you have other plans?”

“I happen to live in New York, and you live in L.A., or don't you remember?”

” I remember perfectly, which was why I wanted to meet you halfway three weeks from now, or is that too much to ask?”

“Oh for chrissake … all right!” She shouted the words. “All right! I'll come to Aspen.”

“Good!” He glanced at his watch then. It was five minutes after eight, and he suddenly reached out and pulled Mel toward him. Time was moving too fast. They were supposed to have left five minutes before, and he couldn't leave her now. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair, smiling at his own thoughts.” I think we just had our first fight. You're a damn stubborn woman, Mel.”

“I know. I'm sorry.” She looked up at him and they kissed.” I just want to do the right thing, and I don't want to upset our kids.”

He nodded.” I know. But we have to think of ourselves now.”

“I haven't done that in a long time. Except to be sure I didn't get hurt.”

“I won't hurt you, Mel.” His voice was sad, it depressed him to think that she would defend herself against him too.” I hope to hell I never do that.”

“You can't help it. When people care about each other, they get hurt. Unless you stay at a safe distance all the time.”

“That's not living.”

“No, it's not. But it's safe.”

“Screw safe.” He looked down at her seriously.” I love you.”

“I love you too.” She still trembled when she said the words.” I wish we didn't have to leave yet.” They were going to have to run like hell to catch his plane, and he looked at his watch and then at her.

“I have a suggestion.”

“What's that?”

“I'll call home and get someone to cover for me for another day. If they survived this long without me, they can hang on for another day. What do you think?”

She smiled like a little girl and let her whole body sag against him. “I think that it sounds wonderful.” And then she thought of something. “What about Pam? Don't you want to see her before she goes to camp?”

“Yes, but maybe for the first time in almost two years, I'll do what I want to do for a change. I'll see her in three weeks when she comes home. She'll survive without me.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked very serious as he held her. “What about you? Can you go back to the Vineyard tomorrow?”

“Are you serious, Peter?” She turned to face him, amazed at his decision. But she could see instantly that he was serious about staying.

“Yes. I don't want to leave you. Let's spend the weekend together.” A smile dawned slowly in her eyes and she hugged him to her.

“You are the most remarkable man.”

“In love with the most extraordinary woman. I'd say we make quite an impressive couple, wouldn't you?”

“Yes, I would.” Her voice was soft as they stood together in her kitchen. And then she looked up at him with a small smile. “As long as you're not leaving right away, what do you say we go upstairs for a while, Dr. Hallam?”

“Excellent idea, Miss Adams.” She went upstairs and he followed her a moment later. He stayed in the kitchen, just long enough to call the doctor who was covering for him in L.A. and ask if he would mind staying on for two more days. His colleague teased him about it, but didn't seem to mind at all, and two minutes later Peter bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time with his long legs and he burst into Melanie's bedroom with a boyish grin. “I can stay!”

She didn't say a word in answer. She only walked toward him and took his clothes off one by one, and they fell onto her bed with an abandon that came from having taken one more step closer to each other.

CHAPTER 20

“But how come you're not coming home?” Pam's voice approached a whine when Peter called her before lunch. “You don't have any patients in New York.” She sounded both angry and hurt and her voice was filled with accusation.

“I got delayed at the conference here, Pam. I'll be home tomorrow night.”

“But I'm leaving for camp tomorrow morning.”

“I know. But Mrs. Hahn can take you to the bus. It's not like it's the first time you've gone.” It was odd how one had to defend oneself to one's children, Mel thought as she listened. “This is your fourth year. You should be an old pro by now, Pam. And you'll be home in three weeks.”

“Yeah.” She sounded distant and gloomy and guilt pulled at his heartstrings, more so now that the decision was made and he had made love to Mel for the past two hours. Now it seemed less urgent that he stay, and Pam was bringing his responsibilities at home back into focus again. “Okay.” She was shutting him out and he felt bad about it.

“Sweetheart, it couldn't be helped.” But it could have, which made him feel worse. Had he been wrong to stay? But dammit, didn't he have a right to his own life, and some time with Mel?

“It's okay, Daddy.” But he could already hear how despondent and depressed she sounded, and he knew from experience how unwise it was to upset her.

“Look, I' come up to see you next weekend.” The camp was near Santa Barbara, and he could drive up easily from L.A., and then he remembered that he would be on call all weekend. “Damn, I can't. The next weekend then.”

“Never mind. Have a nice time.” She seemed suddenly anxious to get off, and in New York, Mel watched Peter's face, easily reading the emotions there. When he hung up, she came and sat beside him.

“You can still catch a plane this afternoon, you know.” But he shook his head with a dogged air. “I don't think I should, Mel. What I said before is true. We have a right to some time together.”

“But she needs you too, and you feel torn.” It didn't take a psychic to see how he felt, and he nodded.

“Somehow she always makes me feel guilty. She's been doing it ever since Anne died. It's almost as if she holds me responsible for her death, and for the rest of time I'll have to atone for my sins and I'll never quite make it.”

“That's a heavy burden to bear. If you're willing to accept it.”

“What choice do I have?” He looked unhappy. “She's had every emotional problem in the books since her mother died, from anorexia to skin problems and nightmares.”

“But traumas happen to everyone sooner or later. She's going to have to accept what happened, Peter. She can't make you pay for it forever.” But it looked like she was going to try. At least that was how it looked to Mel, but she didn't say anything further to Peter. He was determined to stay, and to let her make the adjustment. And a little while later Mel called the twins and Raquel at the house in Chilmark.

The twins were both obviously disappointed that she wasn't coming home, Jessica more than Val, but they both said they'd see her the following night, and then turned the phone over to Raquel, who waited until they left the room before she made comment.

“Boy, he must be somethin' else!”

“Who?” Mel's face looked blank as Peter watched.

“The new boyfriend in New York.”

“What boyfriend?” But now she was blushing. “Raquel, you're oversexed. How are the girls?”

“They're okay. Val has a new boyfriend she met on the beach yesterday, and I think there's someone who's interested in Jessica, but she doesn't look too excited.”

Mel smiled. “Sounds like everything there is normal. How's the weather?”

“Gorgeous. I look like a Jamaican.” The two women laughed and Mel closed her eyes, thinking of the Vineyard. She wished that she and Peter were there, and not stuck in New York on a Saturday in July. She knew that, even mountain lover that he was, he would love it.