Danielle Steel - Fine things

The visits were to start on Saturday, which didn't give Bernie much time. He took Jane out to dinner after his morning in court, and he took a deep breath before he told her. He had taken her to the Hippo, which had always been a favorite with her, but she seemed quiet that night, and finally she looked at him. She knew something was wrong, and she couldn't imagine what it was. Maybe they were moving to New York, or some fresh disaster was happening. And she was certain of it when he reached for her hand with eyes filled with sorrow.

“Baby, I've got to tell you something.” Her heart pounded horribly and she wanted to run away from him. She looked so frightened that it broke his heart. He wondered if she would ever be her old self again. Even though, thanks to Mrs. Pippin, she was getting better. She didn't cry as much now and she even laughed sometimes. “It's not as bad as all that, sweetheart. Don't look so worried.”

She looked at him with eyes filled with terror. “I thought you were going to tell me …” She couldn't say the words, and he looked at her, still holding her hand.

“Tell you what, sweetheart?”

“That you had cancer.” Her voice was so small and sad and he shook his head as tears came to his eyes. That was the worst thing that either of them could imagine.

“It's nothing like that. It's something else entirely. Okay …now … do you remember that your mommy was married before?” It felt strange saying that to her, but he had to explain from the beginning.

“Yes. She said she was married to a very handsome actor, and he died when I was a baby.”

“Something like that.” He had never heard that version of the explanation.

“And she said she loved him very much.” Jane looked up at him innocently and something turned over in his stomach.

“She did?”

“That's what she told me.”

“Okay. She told me something a little different, but it doesn't matter.” Suddenly he was wondering if he was poisoning her mind against someone Liz had truly loved. Maybe she really had loved him and hadn't had the courage to tell him. But then suddenly he remembered the solemnity of the promise she had extracted from him. “She told me that that man, your real father, disappeared right after you were born, and disappointed her a lot. I think he did something dumb like steal money from someone or something and he went to jail.” Jane looked shocked.

“My father?”

“Mmm …yes…. Anyway, he disappeared for a while and then came back when you were nine months old and did the same thing again. This time he disappeared when you were a year old. And she never saw him again. End of story.”

“Is that when he died?” She was confused by the tale he told her, but he shook his head as the waiter took their plates away, and Jane pensively sipped her soda.

“No. He didn't die, sweetheart. That's what this is all about. He just disappeared and eventually your mommy divorced him. And a few years later, I came along, and we got married.” He smiled and squeezed her hand a little tighter, and she smiled in answer.

“That was when we got lucky …that's what Mommy used to say.” And it was obvious that she shared her mother's opinion in that, as in everything. And by then, she had idolized Liz even more than when she was living. But she still looked startled to hear that her father was alive, according to Bernie.

“That was when / got lucky. Anyway, Mr. Chandler Scott vanished and turned up a couple of weeks ago …here, in San Francisco….”

“How come he never called me?”

“I don't know.” He decided to be blunt with her. “He did finally call a year or so ago because he wanted money from your mommy. And when she gave it to him, he went away again. But this time he's come back, and I didn't think we should give him any money, so I didn't.” It was all simplified, but basically what had happened. He didn't tell her that they'd bought him off so he wouldn't see Jane, or that Liz hated his guts. He decided to let Jane make that decision for herself, when she saw him. But it worried him that she might like him.

“Did he want to see me?” She looked intrigued about the handsome actor.

“Now he does.”

“Can he come to dinner?” It all seemed very simple to her, but Bernie was shaking his head and she looked surprised at his reaction.

“It's not as simple as that. He and I went to court today.”

“Why?” She looked even more surprised, and a little frightened. Court sounded ominous to her.

“I went to court because I don't think he's a nice person, and I want to protect you from him. And your mommy wanted me to do that.” He had promised Liz, and he had done his best to keep his promise.

“Do you think he'd do something bad to me?”

He didn't want to frighten her too much, after all, she had to go out with him in two days, for ten hours. “No. But I think he's a little too interested in money. And we really don't know much about him.”

Her eyes looked deep into his. “Why did Mommy tell me he was dead?”

“I think because she thought it was easier to think that than always wonder where he was, or why he had gone away.” Jane nodded, it made sense to her, but she looked disappointed.

“I didn't think she ever lied to me.”

“I don't think she ever did, except that one time. And she thought it was better for you.” Jane nodded, trying to understand.

“So what did they say in court?” She was curious now.

“That we have to go to court again in another month, but in the meantime he has the right to see you. Every Saturday from nine in the morning until dinner.”

“But I don't even know him! What will I say to him all day like that?”

It seemed a funny thing to worry about to Bernie and he smiled at her. “You'll think of something.” That was the least of their problems.

“What if I don't like him? He couldn't have been too nice if he kept running out on Mommy.”

“That's what I always thought.” He decided to be honest with her. “And I didn't like him the one time I met him.”

“You met him?” She looked even more surprised, as he nodded. “When?”

“That time he came to get money from your mom. It was right before Alexander was born, and she sent me to give him the money.”

“She didn't want to see him?” That told Jane a great deal as Bernie shook his head.

“No, she didn't.”

“Maybe she didn't love him so much.”

“Maybe not.” He didn't want to get into that with her.

“Did he really go to jail?” She looked horrified at that and Bernie nodded. “What if I don't want to go on Saturday?”

That was the hard part. “Baby, I'm afraid you have to.”

“Why?” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I don't even know him. What if I don't like him?”

“Then you just kind of pass the time. It's only four times until we go to court again.”

“Four times?” The tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“Every Saturday.” Bernie felt as though he had sold out his only daughter and he hated Chandler Scott and his attorney and Grossman and the courts and the judge for making him do it. And especially Grossman for telling him so coolly not to rock the boat. Chandler Scott wasn't coming to his house on Saturday to take his daughter.

“Daddy, I don't want to.” She wailed, and he told her the ugly truth of it.

“You have to.” He handed her his handkerchief and sat on the banquette next to her, and put an arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against him and cried harder. Everything was so difficult for her now. It wasn't fair to add more. And he hated them all for it. “Look at it this way, it's only four times. And Grandma and Grampa are coming from New York for Thanksgiving. That'll give us plenty to think about.” He had put off his trip to Europe again, with all the headaches he'd been having with help at the time, and Berman didn't push him. It had been months since he'd seen his parents. Since August when his mother took the children home with her. And Mrs. Pippin had promised to make the Thanksgiving turkey. She had turned out to be the godsend she had promised to be, and Bernie was in love with her. He only hoped his mother liked her. They were about the same age and as different as night and day. His mother was expensively dressed, well groomed, a little frivolous, difficult as hell when she chose to be. Mrs. Pippin was starched and plain and as unfrivolous as a woman could be, but decent and warm and competent, and wonderful to his children, and very British. It was going to be an interesting combination.