Danielle Steel - Full circle

“Christ, Harry, if the bride had any sense, she'd ditch this guy and run off with you.”

“That headache I don't need. And you don't look bad yourself, Tan.” She was wearing a green silk dress almost the exact same color as her eyes, her hair hung long and straight down her back, and she had brushed it until it shone, just like her eyes, which sparkled as she looked at him.

“Thanks for coming with me. I know it's going to be a bore, but I appreciate it.”

“Don't be silly. I didn't have anything else to do anyway. I'm not leaving for Nice until tomorrow night.” And from there he was driving to Monaco, where his father was picking him up on a friend's yacht. Harry was going to spend two weeks with him, and then his father was dropping him off and going on with friends, leaving Harry alone in the house on Cap Ferrat. “I can think of worse fates, Tan.” He was hinting at the hell he would raise, chasing girls in the South of France, and living in the house alone, but it sounded lonely to her. He would have no one to talk to most of the time, no one who really cared about him. On the other hand, she was going to spend the summer being smothered by Jean. In a moment of weakness, feeling guilty for the independence that had been so hard won, she had agreed to take a summer job, working for Durning International. And her mother was thrilled.

“I could kill myself every time I think about it.” She groaned to Harry every time the subject came up. “I was nuts. But I feel so sorry for her sometimes. She's so alone now that I'm gone. And I thought it would be a nice thing to do for her, but Christ, Harry … what have I done?”

“It won't be that bad, Tan.”

“Want to make a bet?” Her scholarship had come through for the following year, and she wanted to make some pocket money to spend. At least this would help. But it depressed her beyond words to think of spending the whole summer in New York, living with Jean, and watching her kiss Arthur's feet at work every day. The very thought made her sick.

“We'll go to the Cape for a week when I come back.”

“Thank God for that.” They exchanged a smile as he drove her to Connecticut, and a little while later, they were standing in Christ Episcopal Church with the rest of the guests, painfully hot in the stifling June air, and then mercifully they were released and they drove to the Durning house, passing through the enormous gates, as Harry watched her face. It was the first time she had been back since the nightmare night two years before. Exactly two years in fact. And there was a thin veil of sweat on her upper lip as she thought of it.

“You really don't like it here, do you, Tan?”

“Not much.” She glanced out the window and looked vague as he watched the back of her head. But he could sense something inside her go tense, and it was worse once they parked the car and got out. They wandered down the receiving line saying the appropriate things. Tana introduced Harry to Arthur and the bride and groom, and then as she ordered a drink, she saw Billy staring at her. He was watching her intently, and Harry was watching him, as he wandered away, and Tana seemed to be in a stupor after that. She danced with Harry several times, with several people she didn't know, chatted with her mother once or twice, and then suddenly in a lull, she found herself face to face with Billy.

“Hello there. I wondered if you'd come.” She had an overwhelming urge to slap his face, but instead she turned away. She couldn't breathe just looking at him. She hadn't seen him since that night, and he looked as malevolent as he had then, as weak and evil and spoiled. She could remember his hitting her, and then …

“Get away from me.” She spoke in a barely audible voice.

“Don't be so uptight. Hell, this is my sister's wedding day. It's a romantic event.” She could see that he was more than slightly drunk. She knew that he had graduated from Princeton a few days before and he had probably been drinking nonstop since then. He was going into the family firm, so he could screw around and chase secretaries. She wanted to ask him who he'd raped recently, but instead she just started to walk away and he grabbed her arm. “That was a pretty rude thing to do.”

She turned back to him, her teeth clenched, her eyes wild. “Get your hand off of me or I'm going to throw this drink in your face.” She hissed like a snake, and suddenly Harry materialized at her side, watching her, seeing something he had never seen before, and also noting the look in Billy Durning's eyes.

Billy Durning whispered one word, “whore,” with a vicious look in his eyes, and with a single gesture, Harry grabbed his arm and twisted it back painfully until Billy groaned and tried to fight back but he didn't want to make a scene and Harry whispered in his ear, as he gripped his tie with his free hand, nearly choking him.

“Got the picture, pal? Good, then why don't you just take yourself off right now?” Billy wrenched his arm free, and without saying a word, he walked away as Harry looked at Tana. She was shaking from head to foot. “You all right?” She nodded, but he wasn't convinced. She was deathly pale, and her teeth were chattering despite the heat. “What was that all about? An old friend?”

“Mr. Durning's adorable son.”

“I take it you two have met before.”

She nodded. “Not very pleasantly.” They stayed for a little while after that, and it was obvious that Tana was anxious to leave so Harry suggested it first. He didn't say anything for a while as they drove back to town, and he could see her visibly unwind as they put some distance between them and the Durning house. He had to ask her then. Something so powerful had been in the air, it frightened him for her.

“What was that all about, Tan?”

“Nothing much. An old hatred, that's all.”

“Based on what?”

“He's a complete prick, that's what.” They were strong words for her and Harry was surprised, and there was no humor in her voice. “A rotten little son of a bitch.” Tears burned her eyes and her hands shook as she lit a cigarette, which she almost never did.

“I figured you two weren't the best of friends.” Harry smiled but she didn't respond. “What did he do to you, to make you hate him so much, Tan?” Somehow, he had to know. For her sake and his own.

“It's not important now.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it's not!” She was shouting at him, and there were suddenly tears rolling down her cheeks. None of it had healed in the past two years, because she hadn't allowed the air to get to it. She hadn't told anyone except Sharon, hadn't fallen in love, hadn't gone on any dates. “It doesn't matter anymore.”

He waited for her words to die down. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” He handed her his pocket handkerchief and she blew her nose, as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I'm sorry, Harry.”

“Don't be. Remember me? I'm your friend.” She smiled through her tears and patted his cheek, but something terrible had come back to haunt her again.

“You're the best friend I've got.”

“I want you to tell me what happened with him.”

“Why?”

He smiled. “So I can go back and kill him if you want.”

“Okay. Go ahead.” She laughed for the first time in hours.

“Seriously, I think you need to get it off your chest.”

“No, I don't.” That frightened her more than living with it. She didn't even want to talk about it now.

“He made a pass at you, didn't he?”

“More or less.” She was looking out the window again.

“Tana … talk to me.…”

She turned to him with a wintry smile. “Why?”

“Because I give a damn.” He pulled the car off the road, turned off the ignition, and looked at her. He knew suddenly that he was about to open a door that had been sealed tight, but he knew that for her sake he had to open it. “Tell me what he did to you.”