Danielle Steel - H.R.H.

“For God's sake, why didn't you tell me?” It was the same thing Fiona had said when she found out. And in Parker's case, he was right. She had owed him that. In his case, she had cheated him out of the absolutely certain knowledge that their romance could go nowhere, and would ultimately break their hearts. She realized, looking at him, how selfish she had been, as tears rolled slowly down her face.

“I'm sorry …I didn't want you to know …I just wanted to be me, with you. And now I realize what I've done. I had no right to do this to you.” He stood up and began to pace, looking at her from time to time, as she watched him miserably, and then he came back and sat down next to her, and took her hands in his.

“I don't know how this stuff works. But people do walk away from all that. The Duke of Windsor did it when he abdicated to marry Wallis Simpson.” And then suddenly Parker looked even more worried. “You're not going to be queen one day, are you, or take the throne? Is that why your father is so tough on you?” She smiled and shook her head.

“No, women can't reign in my country. They're incredibly old-fashioned, women have only had the vote for twenty-three years. My brother will rule the country one day, whether or not he chooses to grow up. But because he's so irresponsible, my father counts on me a lot. I can't let him down, Parker. I can't just run away. This isn't like a job that you quit. It's about family and tradition, and bloodlines, and honor, and thousands of years of history. This isn't something you take off, like a hat, or even a crown. It is who you are, and what you're born to, a country and people you serve as example to. It is about duty, not love. Love always takes a backseat to all the rest. It is about duty, honor, and courage. Not about love.”

“My God, that's sick,” he said, looking outraged. “And your father expects you to live like that, and give up who you are and who you love?”

“I have no other choice,” she said, as though declaring her own death sentence. And for them, it was. “To make matters worse, he promised my mother that I would marry someone of royal birth. They were both incredibly old-fashioned and he still is. He believes in duty before love. Even for himself. And he counts on me even more now to uphold tradition and do the right thing because it's unlikely my brother will. I can't let him down, Parker. He will expect me, and demand of me, that I make this sacrifice for my country, my mother, and him.”

“Will you ever see me again, after we leave here?” he asked, sounding desperate. He felt panicked by what she was telling him. She made it sound absolutely hopeless, because in her mind it was. He suddenly realized what they were facing, what it meant for them, and all because of who she was. She was fully prepared to sacrifice herself, and him, for her country and the wishes of its reigning prince. Parker didn't give a damn about her being a princess. All he cared about was being with the woman he loved. He had given her his heart, and now she was quietly giving it back to him, because of who she'd been born, and what was required of her as a result. For her, it was about honor, duty, sacrifice, and courage.

“I don't know,” she answered his question, totally honest with him now. “I'm not sure I can see you again, or how often.” She suspected Max and Sam would help her see him, at least once, but more than that would be very hard. If they did, it would create a scandal for sure. And one black sheep in the family was enough. Freddy already had that role. If she became one now, too, it would break her father's heart. She could not do that to him. “Maybe we could meet once somewhere. I don't think my father would let me come to the States. I just came back last year, and now I've been in Africa for months. After this, he'll want me home, or no farther than Paris or London.”

“Could I meet you in Paris?” He looked so sad, every bit as sad as she felt. She felt as though she'd put a knife in his heart, and her own.

“I can't promise, but I'll try.” She sounded worried and unsure. She had a feeling her father would want her to stay close to home when she got back. A weekend in Paris might not be too hard. Or perhaps she could go to London and stay with Victoria, and see him there. But the press always hung around her cousin like vultures, which would be disastrous for them. Paris would be infinitely better. “I'll do everything I can.”

“And after that?” There were tears in his eyes now. None of this had been good news to him, just as it wasn't to her. But it was old news to her. It was all very new to him.

“After that, my love, you go back to your life, and I to mine. And we remember forever what we shared here, a memory we cherish … you will always own a piece of my heart, a very, very big one.” She couldn't even imagine marrying someone else. Only him.

“This is the worst thing I've ever heard.” He wasn't even angry at her. What was the point of that? He was just devastated right to his core. “Cricky, I love you. Will you at least ask him?” She thought about it for a long moment, and nodded yes. She could try. But once she did, her father would demand that she stop seeing Parker. As long as he didn't know, there was at least a chance that they could see each other. And she didn't want to give that up yet. Secrecy was the only possible path for now, and she told him that. This time he didn't disagree with her. He could only assume that she knew best. He was totally out of his league. This final twist of fate seemed like a very bad movie to him.

After that, he just sat with his arms around her, thinking about everything she'd said, trying to understand and absorb it, and realize what it meant for them. This was a terrible fate for them both. She was destined to be the lonely princess forever. And he the young doctor with the broken heart. He didn't like anything about the way this story was going to end. There was clearly not going to be a “happily ever after” for them.

They walked back to the camp afterward, both of them looking sad. They said very little. He just held her close to him, with an arm around her, and Fiona happened to see them wander into the camp. They both looked like someone had died, and she wondered. Parker didn't even say hello to her, which was rare for him. He kissed Cricky without a word and went back to his tent.

“What happened?” Fiona asked her, looking worried.

“I told him,” Christianna said, looking bereft.

“About you?” Fiona whispered, and Cricky nodded. “Oh, shit. How did he take it?”

“He was wonderful, because he is wonderful. But the situation sucks.” Fiona smiled at her choice of words.

“Yes, it does. Was he angry?” He didn't look it. He looked destroyed, which was worse.

“No. Just sad. So am I.”

“Maybe the two of you can figure something out.”

“We're going to try to meet in Paris after I go back. But that won't change anything, it will just drag it out. In the end, he has to go back to Boston and lead his life, and I'll be in Vaduz, with my father, doing what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life.”

“There has to be a way,” Fiona insisted.

“There isn't. You don't know my father.”

“He let you come here.”

“That's different. He knew I was coming back. And I wasn't going to be marrying anyone here. This was supposed to be a sabbatical. My deal with him is that I take up my duties when I go back. He's not going to let me marry an American doctor, a commoner, and live in Boston. That's just not going to happen,” she said miserably, and Fiona had to admit it didn't sound hopeful, even to her.

“Talk to your father. Maybe he'll understand. True love, and all that.” She had never seen two people love each other more, or be happier together than Cricky and Parker. It was hard to ignore, and tragic for it to end so senselessly.