Danielle Steel - Heartbeat

“It seems poetic justice somehow,” he said, grinning as he sat up in bed and looked down at her, “that I should get involved with a woman who is four and a half months pregnant. I have been involved with more anorexic models and bulemic actresses than anyone deserves in one lifetime, and suddenly here I am with a woman I love, in full bloom, and any minute you're not going to be able to see your sneakers.”

“You're terrifying me. Is there anyway to avoid turning into a blimp?” she asked with worried eyes, and he leaned down and kissed her again.

“Absolutely none. It's a beautiful gift. Just enjoy it.”

“But will you still love me when I'm huge?” It was a familiar wail to any man whose wife had been pregnant.

“Of course. Wouldn't you love me if I were the one with a baby inside me?”

She laughed at the idea, but he made it sound so natural that it didn't seem so frightening suddenly. He did that with everything. With Bill, everything became normal and easy and simple. “Yes, I would.” She smiled up at him, cozy in his bed.

“Then that answers the question, doesn't it? You're beautiful pregnant. Maybe you should be worrying about whether or not you'll turn me on when you're skinny. We know what you do to me when you're like this.” He grinned evilly, and she laughed. She felt totally at ease with him, and loved as she never had been in her life. And the beauty of it was that she loved him, too, more than she had ever loved anyone …even Steven. Steven had never been this good to her, or this kind, or this wise, or this sensitive to her needs, and fears, and moods. There was no doubt in her mind. She was a lucky woman and William Thigpen was a rare person. “You drive me wild with desire, Adrian,” he teased, growling at her, as he pretended to attack her again, but gently.

“Never mind that,” she laughed. “Where's my popcorn?”

“You have no heart.” He leaned over and handed it to her. “Only stomach.” He kissed her loudly on her bottom then, and went to get them both a bottle of club soda, knowing before she said it that she was thirsty.

“You read my mind, do you know that?”

“It comes with the package.” He was dying to make love to her again, but he was afraid to overdo it and hurt the baby. He was willing to be patient and love her carefully for the next four and a half months. It seemed a small price to pay for the miracle of a baby, and the gift of sharing that with her. He helped himself to some of the popcorn, turned up the TV, and looked over at her. He felt as though they belonged to each other now, as though they were one, and had always been married. It was impossible to believe that she was married to someone else, and carrying another man's baby. A man who wanted neither Adrian nor the baby.

The phone rang as Adrian was drifting off to sleep, nestled next to him, while he watched the television and glanced at her occasionally with a warm smile, and a hand on her shoulder. It was Tommy and Adam safely arrived in New York, and calling to tell him.

“How was the trip?”

“Great!” Tommy said. The stewardess let him have three hot dogs. Bill had ordered special meals for them in L.A. He always did, it was just one of the many things he thought of. “How's Adrian? Is she there?” he asked hopefully, and Bill looked down at her and nodded.

“Yeah. We're watching TV and eating popcorn and we really miss you guys. It was really sad here after you left.” He was always honest with them, too, about how he felt. “We can hardly wait for Thanksgiving.” He was already using we to describe himself and Adrian. There was no doubt in his mind that they would still be together by then. Only then, they would have to say something to the boys about the baby. He would leave it to Adrian to decide what she wanted to tell them. And as he thought of it, he put a hand on her stomach again to see if he could feel the baby. He felt possessive about it now that he had been closer to it, and felt her body joined to his. He had never felt closer to any woman.

Adam got on the phone then and told him about the movie they'd seen on the plane. Something about the war in Vietnam, and it sounded upsetting to him, but Adam seemed to have loved it. He asked to speak to Adrian then, and Bill gently nudged her and put his hand over the receiver.

“It's Adam, sweetheart. He wants to talk to you.”

“Okay.” She reached for the phone with a sleepy smile, but when she spoke to him she made an effort to sound normal. “Hi, Adam. How was the trip? Any cute girls?”

He guffawed at the question. She had been the first to realize that he was becoming interested in girls, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom combing his hair with assorted products. “Not really. Just one, in the seat behind us.”

“Did you get her number?” Adrian teased, but he was serious when he answered.

“Yeah. She lives in Connecticut. Her dad is a pilot.”

“Too bad you weren't interested in her …much …”They both laughed, and a minute later she talked to Tommy, and told them both how much they missed them. “Your dad and I were sitting here all sad and lonely tonight. Even the popcorn isn't the same without you.”

“Thanks a lot.” Bill pretended to pout, and listened to the animated conversation between the three of them with pleasure. She was wonderful to his kids, and he would never forget her saving Tommy's life, and nearly losing her own and her baby's. He had never been so frightened as when he'd seen that little lifeless body, and then hers … he shuddered when he thought of it.

She handed the phone back to him then, and he chatted with the boys for a few minutes and then let them go so they could spend time with their mother. She hadn't seen them in a month and Bill knew she'd be anxious to see them.

“They sound so close, but they're so far away,” Adrian said sadly. Three months seemed an interminable wait to see them again, and she wondered how he stood it, particularly with no other family in California. It wasn't as though he was remarried and had other children. And even that might not have made a difference. Adam and Tommy were special and unique, and she knew now just how much he missed them. “It seems like an awfully long time till Thanksgiving.”

“Now you know what it's like, or a little bit anyway,” he said seriously, as he climbed back into bed with her and turned off the TV. “That's why I never wanted other children. I never wanted anyone to do that to me again. To take them away, to deprive me of them.No matter how decent Leslie is 9 they still live with her and only spend six weeks a year with me, if I'm lucky, maybe seven. It's lousy.”

“I understand,” she said gently. And she did. And she knew him well enough now to know how much it hurt him. And then, unprompted, she spoke up in the darkness. “I would never do that to you, Bill.”

“How do you know that? No one can ever be sure. And look at you …you still feel an obligation to Steven. If he comes back after the baby is born, what happens to us? You don't know the answer to that either.” He sounded angry and unhappy for just a moment, but it was only because he loved her, and was missing his children.

“No, I don't know the answer to that. But I would never hurt you.” She knew that now. She didn't know what she'd do if Steven came back, and Bill was right, she did feel an obligation to her husband. But she felt something more now, too, a bond to Bill, a tie that had formed, that night perhaps when they were making love, or maybe it had happened more slowly, in the past few months when they became friends. But something had happened to bind them together, and she knew she'd never just walk out on him … or take away something or someone he loved. She was sure of it … or at least she hoped not. “I love you, Bill,” she said softly, thinking of him, and the boys, and the baby.