Danielle Steel - Journey

“I see it … but he's right too. I lied to him about Lizzie. I provoke him. I even lie to him about you. I wouldn't want him talking to some woman every day either.”

“Do you want us to stop talking?” Bill asked, sounding panicked. But she was quick to reassure him.

“No, I don't. But I understand how Jack feels.”

“I don't think you have the remotest idea how he feels, or even if he feels,” Bill disagreed with her. “I think he's so manipulative and so evil that he knows just how to play you and make you feel guilty. He's the one who should be apologizing to you, and feeling guilty!” He sounded desperately upset as they continued to hash it out, and finally agreed that she would call him every day, and they would put a halt to their lunches for a while, or maybe have lunch from time to time quietly at his place. It seemed sneaky to her too, but it seemed better not to be seen in public, and neither of them wanted to stop seeing each other. She needed at least one friend, and other than Lizzie, he was all she had.

The atmosphere remained tense at home for several days, and then, as luck would have it, she and Jack went to a party at the home of a Congressman Jack knew, and Bill was there. They had gone to college together, and he had forgotten to tell Maddy that he was going.

Jack reacted instantly the moment Bill walked into the room, and he leaned over and squeezed Maddy's arm so hard it was white when he let her go again. But the message to her was clear.

“If you so much as speak to him, I'm going to drag you out of here so fast you won't know what hit you.” He whispered the words close to her ear.

“I understand,” she whispered back. She avoided Bill's eyes, to get the message to him that she couldn't talk to him, and whenever he moved near, she went to stand next to Jack, to reassure him. She looked nervous and pale, and felt awkward for the entire evening, and when Jack went to the bathroom at one point, she looked at Bill imploringly, and he drifted past her with a worried look. He had instantly seen the tension on her face.

“I can't talk to you … he's furious …”

“Are you okay?” He was sick about her. He had seen what was happening, and had made a point of not saying anything to her.

“I'm fine,” she said, and turned away, but Jack came back just as Bill was walking away from her, and he sensed instantly what had happened. Jack walked purposefully across the room to her and spoke between clenched teeth in a tone that terrified her.

“We're leaving. Get your coat.”

She thanked the hostess graciously, and they left a few minutes later. They were the first to leave, but dinner was over and it didn't cause any comment. Jack had explained that they both had early meetings the next day. Only Bill looked upset after they left, and he knew he couldn't call to find out how she was. Jack was already lashing out at her verbally in the car as they drove away, and she was tempted to jump out of the car and run away. He was in a frenzy over Bill.

“What kind of fool do you think I am, for chrissake? I told you not to talk to him … I saw the look in your eyes when you looked at him … why didn't you just pull up your skirt, rip your pants off, and wave them at him?”

“Jack, please … we're friends, that's all. I told you. He's mourning his wife. I'm married to you. We're on the same commission. That's all there is to it.” She spoke as quietly as she could, trying not to provoke him any further, but it was hopeless. He was in a total rage.

“Bullshit, you little bitch! You know goddamn well what you're doing with him, and so do I. And so does all of fucking Washington, probably. What kind of fool does that make me? I'm not blind, Maddy, for chrissake. Jesus, the shit I take from you. I just can't believe it.” She said not another word as they drove home, and Jack slammed every door in the house but he never touched her. She lay cowering in their bed all night, terrified of what he would do to her, but he did nothing. And he was as cold as ice the next day when she poured his coffee.

And he issued only one warning. “If you ever speak to him again, I'm going to throw your ass out on the street where you belong. Do you understand?” She nodded silently, fighting back tears, and terrified at the prospect. “I'm not going to put up with that bullshit. You humiliated me last night. You never took your eyes off him, and you looked like a bitch in heat while you did it.” She wanted to argue with him and defend herself, but she didn't dare. She just nodded, and drove with him in silence to the office. The only sensible thing to do after that was to call Bill and tell him she couldn't see or talk to him anymore. And she knew she should. But he was the lifeline she was holding on to, the thin thread between her and the abyss she was so terrified to fall into. And she didn't know what it was, or why, but she knew she had a special bond to him, and no matter how much Jack threatened her, she couldn't give up her contact with Bill, whatever the cost, or the risk. She knew that what she was doing was dangerous, but no matter how sternly she told herself that, what she knew most of all was that she couldn't stop now.

Chapter 17

M ADDY WAS STILL IN DISGRACE with Jack, and calling Bill very cautiously every day from her office, when she heard a shout one afternoon from the newsroom. She was talking to Bill at the time, and she listened for a second to the noise outside, and then told him something must have happened.

“I'll call you back,” she said, and hung up, and hurried outside her office to see what the fuss was. Everyone was crowding around a monitor, and at first she couldn't see what they were watching. But within seconds, someone moved aside, and she could hear and see the bulletin that had interrupted all broadcasts on every network. President Armstrong had been shot, and was being rushed by helicopter to Bethesda Naval Hospital in critical condition.

“Oh my God … oh my God …” Maddy whispered … all she could think of as she watched was the First Lady.

“Get your coat!” the producer shouted at her. “We have a helicopter for you at National.” A cameraman was already standing by and someone handed her her handbag and her coat, and she ran into the elevator without stopping to talk to anyone. The same bulletin had announced that the First Lady was with him. And as soon as Maddy got in the car that was waiting to take her to National, she called the office back on her cell phone. The producer had been standing by, waiting to hear from her.

“How did it happen?” she asked quickly.

“They don't know yet. Some guy just came out of a crowd at him and shot him. One of the Secret Service guys took a hit, but no one's dead yet.” Yet. That was the key word here.

“Is he going to make it?” She had her eyes closed as she listened.

“We don't know that yet either. It doesn't look good. There's blood all over the place on what they're showing now. They just showed it all in slow motion. He was shaking hands as he left some perfectly innocuous group, and a guy who looks like Father Knows Best just let him have it. They got him. He's in custody now, but they haven't released his name yet.”

“Shit.”

“Stay in touch. Get everything you can. Doctors, nurses, Secret Service. The First Lady, if they let you see her.” He knew they were friends, and no relationships were sacred in this business. She knew they expected her to fully exploit every possible opportunity, no matter how tasteless. “We've got a crew going out to meet you by car, if you need a break. But I want you on this one.”

“I know. I know.”

“And stay off your phone, in case we have to call you.”