Danielle Steel - Journey

As soon as they went on the air, she introduced Brad, and they were off and running. He had a dry, technical style, and as they worked together, she had to acknowledge that he was intelligent and knowledgeable, but his style was so different from hers that they seemed totally out of sync and in particular contrast to each other. She was warm and personable and down to earth, while he was aloof and distant. There was none of the harmony and ease she'd shared with Greg and she couldn't help wondering what the ratings were going to tell them.

They hung around and chatted for a while until they went on the air again, and it went a little smoother this time, but not enough to impress anyone. The broadcast felt flat to her, and the producer was frowning when she left the set. She'd gotten a message that Jack had late meetings that night, and he was leaving the car for her. But in the end, she decided to walk a few blocks, and then take a cab. It was a warm night and it was still light outside, but she had the funny feeling someone was watching her, and she decided she was paranoid. It had been such an upsetting day, her imagination was running wild. And maybe about Jack too. She was beginning to question the conclusion she'd come to, and she felt disloyal to him having said what she had to Bill. Maybe Jack wasn't any of the things she had accused him of, there were a myriad of explanations for his behavior.

But when she got out of the cab, she saw two policemen standing near her house, and an unmarked car across the street, and she wondered what had happened. On her way into the house, she stopped and asked them.

“Just keeping an eye on the neighborhood,” they smiled, and she went in. But two hours later, she saw that they were still there, and she mentioned it to Jack when he came in at midnight.

“I saw them too. Apparently one of the neighbors is having some kind of security problem. They said they'd be there for a while, and not to worry about it. Maybe the Supreme Court judge down the street is having a death threat. Anyway, it makes the neighborhood that much safer for the rest of us.” But then he scolded her for not taking the driver and using a cab. He told her he wanted her to use their car and driver whenever she went out.

“It's no big deal. I wanted to walk,” she said, but she suddenly felt awkward with him. If he was everything she thought, she didn't even know what to say to him. And she felt guilty again. He was so sweet about the car.

“How did it go tonight with Brad?” he asked when he came to bed. And suddenly she almost shuddered, wondering if he was going to make love to her. All she knew was that she didn't want to.

“Pretty flat, I thought,” she answered about her new co-anchor. “He's all right, but not very exciting to watch. I looked at the tape of the five o'clock, and there's no life in the show.”

“Then put some in it,” he said bluntly, putting the responsibility on her shoulders. And she found herself staring at him as though he were a complete stranger. She didn't even know what to say to him, or what was true now. Was he abusive to her, or did he just like to have control of things, and manage her life because he cared about her? What exactly had he done that was so bad? Give her a fabulous career, or a lovely house, or a car and driver to get to work, beautiful clothes, terrific jewelry, trips to Europe, and a jet plane she could use to shop in New York anytime she wanted? Was she crazy or why had she imagined that he was so abusive? She was just telling herself that she had imagined all of it, and it had been disloyal of her to even think about it, when he turned out the light and turned slowly to her with an odd expression. He was smiling at her, and he reached out a hand and gently touched her breast, and then before she could stop him, he had grabbed her so hard, it made her gasp, and she begged him to stop.

“Why?” he said, sounding cruel, and then he laughed at her. “Why, baby? Tell me why? Don't you love me?”

“I love you, but you're hurting me….” There were tears in her eyes as she said it, and he pulled away her nightgown and revealed the rest of her, and then he dove between her legs and made her moan with excitement. It was the same game he had played with her before, of alternating pain and pleasure. “I don't want to make love tonight,” she tried to say, but he didn't listen, he grabbed a handful of her hair and sharply pulled her head back, kissed her neck so sensually that her entire body tingled, and then entered her with such force that she thought he would rip right through her. He rode her so hard that it made her cry out, and as she clawed at him to make him stop, he turned gentle again, and she lay in his arms and cried in despair as he came and shuddered violently inside her.

“I love you, baby,” he whispered into her neck, as she wondered what that word meant to him, or how she would ever escape him. There was something violent and terrifying about their loving. It was a subtle way of terrifying her that she had known before and never recognized, but now that she knew what it was, what she sensed most in his love for her was danger. “I love you,” he said again, sounding sleepy this time.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, as tears slid from her eyes, and the worst part of it was that she did.

Chapter 9

T HERE WERE TWO POLICEMEN STILL outside their house when Jack and Maddy left for work the next day, and security seemed tighter than usual when they got to the office. They were asking everyone for passes, and she had to go through the metal detector three times before they were satisfied that the alarm that went off was due to her bracelet and nothing else.

“What's going on?” she asked Jack.

“Just routine, I guess. Someone must have complained that we were getting sloppy.” She didn't think about it after that, and she went upstairs to meet with Brad. They had agreed to spend some time together and work on their presentation. Their styles were so different that Maddy had asked for some rehearsals so they could get more comfortable with each other. There was more to the news than just reading it off a TelePrompTer, contrary to what Jack said.

She called Greg after that, to tell him about meeting Dr. Flowers, but he was out. And she decided to go out and get a sandwich. It was a glorious afternoon and there was a breeze that softened the heat that was so typical of Washington summers. And again, when she went out, she had the feeling she was being followed. But when she turned around and looked, she saw nothing suspicious. All she saw were two men, strolling behind her, laughing and talking. And as soon as she got back to her office, Bill called her.

He wanted to know how she was, and if she had made any decisions.

“I don't know,” she confessed, “maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's just difficult. I know this sounds crazy. But I love him and I know he loves me.”

“You're the best judge of that,” Bill said quietly, “but after listening to Dr. Flowers yesterday, I can't help wondering if you're back in denial. Maybe you should call her, and see what she thinks.”

“She gave me her card, and I was thinking about it.”

“Call her.”

“I will. I promise.” She thanked him again for the day before, and promised to call him the next day just to reassure him. He was a nice man, and she was grateful for his friendship and concern.

For the rest of the afternoon, she worked on her current stories in progress and the five o'clock went a little more smoothly with Brad, but not much. And she was irritated at how awkward he was. What he said was intelligent, but the way he delivered it made him sound like a novice. He had never before been a co-anchor, and in spite of his intelligence, he had absolutely no charm or charisma or style.