Danielle Steel - Lone eagle

“Merry Christmas… kiss the kids….” His voice was fading out.

“I love you!” she shouted back into the phone, hoping he could hear her. “Merry Christmas!… I love you, Joe!” But he was gone. They had lost the line. And as Reed watched her standing next to the Christmas tree, she sat in her chair and cried.

“Don't be sad, Mommy.” He came and got on her lap and she held him. She wasn't angry, she was bitterly disappointed. She knew it probably wasn't his fault, but it was painful anyway. He wouldn't be there for Christmas, and then she forced herself to remember what it had been like when he'd been shot down. She thought he was dead. Now at least she knew he was coming back. She set Reed back on his feet, and went to blow her nose. There was nothing she could do about it. They'd just have to make the best of it, and celebrate Christmas with him when he came home. She was determined not to let him know how upset she was.

Christmas was quiet without Joe. She and the children opened their presents. Her parents had sent her hers, and there were a few from friends. She suspected correctly that Joe probably hadn't had time to shop. But it didn't matter anyway. All she wanted was him.

Andy came to pick Reed up on Christmas Day and take him to his place for a few hours, and he looked serious when he appeared at the door. She had just heard he was getting married, and she was happy for him. She hoped that this time he made the right choice. She hadn't been for him. And even if things weren't easy with Joe, she thought it was better being married to someone you really loved, problems and all.

“Hello, Kate,” Andy said, standing in the doorway awkwardly. They had been civil to each other since the divorce, but never close. And Kate had finally confronted him about his lies to Joe about her, and he had apologized and admitted that it had been a rotten thing to do. He was deeply embarrassed about it, and had been for a long time.

Kate knew he still visited her parents, whenever he was in Boston, but she didn't mind. He was her children's father after all, and her parents had always liked him. And they felt sorry for him after the divorce. Her mother was the one who'd told her Andy was getting married. He had been seeing the girl for a year, which seemed reasonable to Kate.

“Merry Christmas,” Kate said, and invited him to come in, but he hesitated, and she added politely, “It's okay. Joe's not here. He's away.”

“On Christmas?” He looked shocked, as he stepped into the front hall of the apartment that had been Joe's before he married Kate. “I'm sorry, Kate. That must be hard for you.”

“It's not great, but he couldn't help it. He got stuck in Japan.” She tried to make it sound more tolerable than it was.

“He's a busy man,” he said, as Reed appeared and gave a whoop, and Stephanie toddled behind him, but she was going to stay home with her mom.

“I hear you're getting married,” she said when Reed went to get his coat. She didn't know if Andy had told him yet, the child hadn't said anything.

“Not till June. I'm taking my time.” They both smiled, he didn't want to say “So I don't make another mistake,” but Kate knew that was on his mind, and should have been.

“I hope you'll be happy. You deserve it,” she said as Reed reappeared with coat and cap and mittens on, and took his father's hand.

“So do you. Merry Christmas, Kate,” he said as they left. He was bringing Reed back at eight o'clock. And she and Stephanie went to play in her room.

It had been a lonely holiday for Kate. She tried to call Joe at his hotel, but she couldn't get through. And he probably had the same problem, or was stuck in meetings, because he didn't call her. And all she could do was tell herself that it didn't matter. They'd have Christmas together next year. Sometimes things worked out that way, and she knew she had to be grown up about it. But she almost cried when her parents called, and then assured them she was fine.

She didn't hear from Joe for another two days. He called to tell her he was leaving Tokyo the next day, and stopping in L.A. on the way home.

“I thought you said you'd go later,” she said, trying not to whine. But he was always changing plans, and disappointing her. And her tone of voice conveyed to him how she felt about it, even when her words did not.

“I can't. I have to go now. The unions are acting up. Besides, it's not right, Kate. There's a widow out there who lost her husband because of one of my planes. I think I at least owe it to her to stop and make a condolence call. That's the least I can do.” Kate didn't disagree with him, he always had good reasons, but she had to fight herself not to scream “What about me?” She always seemed to be the last priority on his list, and yet she understood how much he had to do. But he had just missed Christmas with her, and she wanted him to come home.

“When are you coming home?” she asked in a tired voice.

“I'll be home for New Year's Eve.” Maybe. If nothing else happened to stall him in L.A. She was no longer counting on him. They were scheduled to go out for dinner and dancing that night with friends, and she'd been looking forward to it. But if he didn't come home in time, she'd stay home with the kids. She didn't want to be a fifth wheel on New Year's Eve.

As it turned out, he flew back on December 31, and it started to snow in New York before he left L.A. The weather was almost totally socked in by the time he got to New York, and their arrival was delayed. He walked into the apartment at nine o'clock that night, looking beyond exhausted. He had flown the company plane himself. He didn't trust anyone else to bring him in in one piece in conditions like that. Kate was waiting for him, she had already taken off her dress, and was in bed with a book. She didn't even hear him come in, and suddenly he was standing in the room, looking at her sheepishly. But the look in his eyes instantly melted her heart. Joe was irresistible to her, and always had been.

“Do I still live here, Kate?” He knew the last few weeks had been rough on her.

“Could be,” she said, grinning at him, as he came to sit down next to her. “You look pretty good.”

“I'm so sorry, baby. I screwed up all your holidays. I really wanted to get home. I'm sorry I'm such a jerk. Do you want to go out?” She had a better idea, as she got up and closed the door to their bedroom. He had taken off his jacket and was loosening his tie, as she walked over to him, and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Should I get dressed?” He was willing to do anything she wanted, to make up to her for the time he'd missed.

“Nope,” she said, unzipping his pants for him, and he grinned.

“This looks serious,” he said, as he kissed her.

“It is… it's the price you have to pay for standing me up for Christmas.” She was teasing him and laughing as she kissed him, and despite how tired he was, she managed to instantly arouse him.

“If you'd told me about this, I'd have come home a lot sooner,” he whispered as he slipped into bed with her.

“It's here anytime you want it, Joe,” she said as she kissed him in all the places he loved best, and he moaned softly.

“Next time, remind me…,” he said, as they abandoned themselves to each other. It was the perfect New Year's Eve.

20

BY THE TIME KATE and Joe had been married a year, at the beginning of 1954, they had settled into a routine of his being away much of the time, and she was at home with the children. She started doing some charity work to keep occupied while he was gone. And Joe found another project for her that spring. He wanted to buy a house in California. He was spending so much time there these days, it made sense to him, and he thought that decorating it would keep Kate busy and amused.