Danielle Steel - Remembrance

And at exactly one minute to eleven the huge front doors were closed, the organ began to play more loudly, and there was a sudden hush in the church, unbroken even by whispers, and as though by magic the ushers and bridesmaids began to appear, in a solemn procession of cutaways and striped trousers and organdy dresses in palest peach. There were picture hats to match, and the dresses were so lovely that Serena gazed at them in fascination. They had enormous Victorian sleeves and high necks, tiny waists, and full skirts with elegant little trains. Each bridesmaid carried a bouquet of tiny roses in the same color, and when the last of the bridesmaids had passed by and the flower girl appeared, she was wearing a miniature version of the same dress, except that the sleeves were tiny round puffs and there was no train over which she could fall. She carried a silver basket filled with rose petals, and she had an angelic face, as she giggled at her brother who wore a short black velvet suit and solemnly carried a velvet cushion on which lay both rings. Serena smiled at the children with damp eyes, and then turned to see who came behind them, and as she did she caught her breath at the vision that stood there. It was a fairy princess in a dress of lace so magnificent that Serena thought she had never seen anything like it. It was obviously an heirloom. A gasp and a murmur ran through the church as Pattie stood there in the high-necked full-sleeved gown of her great-grandmother. The dress was well over a hundred years old. There was a short necklace of exquisite diamonds that she wore at her neck, a tiny tiara that had been made to match, and pearls and diamonds glittered in her ears, and all around her hung a cloud of veil that seemed to sweep behind her for miles, covering her train and most of the aisle as she marched regally by on her father's arm. It was impossible not to feel dwarfed beside her, her dark beauty in sharp contrast to the soft white, and Serena was absolutely certain that she was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. It was impossible to associate, even for a moment, this totally perfect scene with all that Brad had told her about Partie. This couldn't be the same woman, Serena found herself thinking. This was a goddess, a fairy princess. It was she who looked like a principessa, Serena mused as she sat there. And then with a heavy heart she realized that it was she who could have been Brad's wife. He could have been the groom at this wedding, married to the striking little dark-haired beauty from his own world. Had he done that, there would have been no strife, no anger, no problem with his mother. And as she thought of it all she felt guilt pour over her for all that she had done to disrupt B.J.'s life. Her eyes wandered back to the altar, where she saw Greg standing stiffly beside his bride. And just behind them stood Brad and the maid of honor, and as Serena watched her, a distinguished-looking girl with red hair, which somehow blended well with the peach dress and large picture hat, she wondered if Brad was regretting what he had lost when he married her. He could have had the redhead, or any of the pretty blondes with their bright, freckled, American faces. He could have names that everyone recognized, whose aunts and grandmothers and fathers they had known. He could have lived the life his mother wanted for him, keeping his family intact. Instead he had married a stranger to this world, and he would become an outcast. As she thought of it the tears filled her eyes and ran slowly down her cheeks. She felt a grief beyond measure at what she had done to him. Oh, God, what would happen if he ended up hating her for it?

She sat solemnly through the rest of the wedding, and watched the procession file sedately past her on the way out, and when it was over, she went through the reception line like any other stranger, shaking hands with the twenty or so bridesmaids and ushers, until suddenly she reached Teddy, and he grabbed her by the arm.

“What are you doing here, silly?”

“I don't know.” She looked suddenly embarrassed. Had she done the wrong thing? She felt foolish and he put an arm around her with a grin.

“You don't have to be so formal. Want to stand here with us?” But Serena knew that their mother would undoubtedly have a fit.

“I'll just wait outside.” She stood there for a moment beside him, and suddenly Pattie saw her and stared angrily.

“This is my wedding, Serena, not yours, or had you forgotten?”

Serena flushed to the roots of her hair, stammered something, and began to back away. But Teddy was quick to grab her. He knew how much she had already been through, and he wanted to slap Pattie for what she had just said. “Can't you just shut your damn mouth for once, Pattie? If you don't watch it, you'll end up looking like a shrew, even in that dress.” With that, he left the line, his arm around Serena, and signaled to Brad to meet them outside. Margaret was looking daggers at them, and Pattie had gone white, but only one or two people had overheard them, and a moment later they were safely outside.

“Well, at least I have you to make things even.”

“Hmm?” She was still looking upset and distracted as they stood in the bright sunshine.

“I've got one wonderful sister-in-law and one bitch.” Serena laughed in spite of herself and saw Brad coming toward them.

“Something happen in there?” he was quick to ask, and Serena shook her head, but Teddy waved a finger and frowned.

“Don't lie to him, dammit.” He smiled at his brother. “Our brand-new sister-in-law is just being herself.”

“Was she rude to Serena?” Brad began to smolder.

“Of course. Is she ever anything but rude, except to those she is trying to impress? Christ, I don't know how Greg is going to stand her.” He said it sotto voce so only his brother heard him, but they both knew the answer to that one, and neither of them liked it. Most likely Greg was going to stay drunk for the rest of his life. That morning, in his still-besotted state, he had told his older brother that he was marrying her because she had been Brad's fiancée, and everyone knew that Brad was terrific so she had to be a terrific girl. In a moment of madness Brad had tried to dissuade him from getting married, but Greg was too frightened to alter his course only hours before the wedding, and all morning in church Brad had remembered Serena's question: “Are you going to be the one to stand up and object at the wedding?” He had wanted to, but he hadn't dared.

A few minutes later the entire wedding party disappeared into six limousines and moved on to The Plaza, where the Grand Ballroom had been reserved. Here again the flowers were lavish, and the orchestra struck up the moment they arrived.

Serena was once again seated with strangers at a table far from the others, and it seemed ages before Brad came to find her. She looked tired from the strain of making polite conversation, and she was a little overwhelmed by the crowds around her.

“Are you all right, love?” She smiled and nodded. “How's my daughter?”

“He's fine.” They chuckled at each other, and he led her onto the dance floor in a slow waltz a moment later. Teddy sat at the bridal table and watched them circling slowly together. They were truly the perfect couple. His tall, handsome blond brother, and the graceful golden-haired woman in his arms. Their faces met at precisely the right angle, their smiles would have lit the room, they looked so happy that they should have been the bride and groom, and not the nervous, high-strung little brunette drinking too much and talking too loudly, sitting beside the man she had just married, who sat staring straight ahead, as Teddy watched them. Greg had no sparkle in his eyes, instead there was a dull glaze as he finished his Scotch on the rocks and signaled the waiter for another.