Danielle Steel - Rogue

“No. I don't think I even have a shot at a baby like that. I considered international adoption, and I looked into it, but there are too many unknowns, and it's too expensive for me. I can't go sit in Russia or China, for three months, waiting for them to give me some random three-year-old from an orphanage, who might have all kinds of damage that I only figure out later. They don't even let you pick your baby, they pick it for you, and most of them are three or four years old. I want a baby, a newborn if possible, that no one else has screwed up.”

“Except in the womb,” Maxine warned her. “You have to be very careful you know what you're getting, Zellie, and that there were no drugs or alcohol used during the pregnancy.” Zelda looked away for a minute.

“That's kind of my point,” Zelda said, looking back at her again. “My best shot is a somewhat high-risk baby. Not a special-needs one like spina bifida or Down's or anything. I don't think I could handle that. But a relatively normal kid from a girl who might have done some drugs or had a few beers while she was pregnant.” She didn't look frightened at the prospect, but her employer did. Very.

“I think that's a big mistake,” Maxine said firmly. “You have no idea what kind of problems you'd be getting into, particularly with a mother who did drugs. I see the results of that in my office all the time, and a lot of the kids I see were adopted and had drug-addicted biological parents. Those things are genetic, and the effects can be pretty scary later on.”

“I'm willing to take that on,” Zelda said, looking her in the eye. “In fact,” she took a deep breath, “I just did.”

“What do you mean?” Maxine frowned at her as Zelda went on, and now Charles was paying attention too, and so were the kids. You could hear a pin drop in the kitchen as Zelda spoke.

“There's a baby coming up, the mother is fifteen and was homeless for part of her pregnancy. She did drugs in the first trimester, but she's clean now. The father is in jail for dealing drugs and grand theft auto. He's nineteen and he's not interested in the baby or the girl, so he's willing to sign off. He already did, and that's a big deal too. Her parents won't let her keep the baby, they have no money, and she's a sweet kid. I met her yesterday.” Maxine realized that explained the suit and high heels Zelda had been wearing the day before. “She's willing to give me her baby. All she wants are photographs once a year. She doesn't want to see it, which is great, so she's not going to pester me, or upset the baby. Three couples have already passed on this, so if I want him, he's mine. It's a boy,” she said with tears rolling down her cheeks, and a smile that broke Maxine's heart. She couldn't even imagine wanting a baby that much, to take so much risk, and take someone's child who might be damaged for life. She got up and put her arms around Zellie and hugged her.

“Oh, Zellie …I think that's a beautiful thing to want to do. But you can't take on a baby like that. You have no idea what you're getting into. You just can't do that.”

“I can and I am,” she said stubbornly, and Maxine could see she meant it.

“When?” Charles asked. He had gotten the gist, and it sounded disastrous to him.

Zellie took a breath. “The baby is due this weekend.”

“Are you kidding?” Maxine nearly shrieked, and the kids looked stunned too. “Now? Like in a few days? What are you going to do?”

“I'm going to love him for the rest of his life. I'm naming him James. Jimmy.” Maxine suddenly felt sick. This couldn't be happening to them. But it was. “I don't expect you to back me in this. And I hate to do this on such short notice. I thought it would take me a lot longer, like a year or two. But they called me about this baby yesterday, and I said yes today. So I had to tell you.”

“They told you about this baby yesterday because no one else wants it,” Charles said coldly. “This is a very foolish thing to do.”

“I think it's meant to be,” Zellie said wistfully, and Maxine wanted to cry. It sounded like a huge mistake to her, but who was she to decide other people's lives? She wouldn't have done it, but she had three healthy kids, and who knew what she would do in Zellie's position? It was a very loving thing to do, even if a little crazy, and very high risk. She was brave to do it. “If you want me to leave now, I will,” Zelda said quietly. “I can't do anything else. I can't force you to let me have the baby here. If you let me, and want me to stay, I will, and we can see how it works for all of us. But if you want me to go, I'll make other arrangements and leave in the next few days. I'll have to figure out a place to live pretty quick, since the baby could be born over the weekend.”

“Oh my God,” Charles said, and got up from the table, looking pointedly at Maxine.

“Zellie,” Maxine said quietly, “we'll work it out.” As she said it, all three of her children cheered in unison and jumped up to hug Zellie.

“We're having a baby!” Sam shouted, delighted. “It's a boy!” He wrapped his arms around Zelda's waist, and she started to cry.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Maxine.

“Let's see how it goes,” Maxine said weakly. She had had her children's answer instantly, but she had Charles to deal with too. “All we can do is try, and hope it works out. If it doesn't, we'll talk about it. How much mess can a baby make?” As she said it, Zelda wrapped her arms around Maxine's neck and hugged her so tightly Maxine could hardly breathe.

“Thank you, thank you,” she said through her tears. “This is all I've ever wanted. A baby of my own,” Zelda said, crying.

“You're sure?” Maxine said seriously. “You can still hold out for a baby that's not high risk.”

“I don't want to wait,” she said staunchly. “I want him.”

“That could be a mistake.”

“It won't be.” She had made her mind up, and Maxine saw that there was nothing she could do to dissuade her. “I have to go and get a crib tomorrow and some stuff.” Maxine had given Sam's crib away years before or she would have offered theirs. It was a stunning thought realizing that they could have a baby in their midst in the next few days. And as Maxine looked around, she realized Charles had left them. She found him in the living room, fuming, and when he looked at Maxine, there was murder in his eyes.

“Are you insane?” he spat at her. “Are you crazy? You're going to take a crack baby into our home? Because you know that's what it is. No one in their right mind would want an infant with that profile, and the poor woman is so desperate, she'll take anything. And now it's going to be living with you! … and with me !” he added. “How dare you make a decision like that without asking me first?” He was shaking with rage, and Maxine didn't completely blame him. She wasn't thrilled either, but they loved Zellie. Charles didn't. He barely knew her. And he had no concept of how much she meant to them. To him, she was just a nanny. She was family to Max and the children.

“I'm sorry I didn't ask you, Charles. I swear, it just slipped out. I was so moved by what she said, and I felt so sorry for her. I just can't ask her to leave so quickly, after twelve years, and my kids would be distraught. So would I.”

“Then she should have told you what she was doing. This is outrageous! You should fire her,” he said coldly.

“We love her,” Maxine said gently. “My children have grown up with her. And she loves them too. If it doesn't work out, we can always let her go. But with all these changes for my kids, our getting married, them getting used to you, Charles, I don't want her to go.” There were tears in Maxine's eyes. And Charles's were glacial and rock hard.