Danielle Steel - The Kiss

Sophie put her nightgown on in her own room, and then went back to Teddy's room. The nurse said he had a fever again, and Sophie climbed into his bed and cuddled up next to him. She felt as though they were two children who had lost their mother for the time being, and she had never felt as sad or as lonely in her life. And all she could hope, as her tears ran into her pillow, was that their mother would wake from her coma soon. She couldn't begin to imagine what their life would be like if she died.

Chapter 9

Things moved along at the hospital in London. Physical therapists came to assess Bill and plan a rehabilitation program for him. They were turning him frequently in his bed to keep his circulation moving, and prevent pneumonia, but the days were boring for him. And once or twice a day he had his bed wheeled into Isabelle's room. The nurses had paid no attention to Gordon's instructions, and several of them hoped it would do her good to be visited by Bill. It did no harm in any case, and it raised Bill's spirits noticeably. He always felt better when he visited her. He missed their late-night talks terribly. And he lay in his hospital bed for hours, thinking about her just across the hall. He looked forward all day to the few minutes he could spend at her side.

His own injuries were starting to heal a little bit. His neck and spine still caused him a lot of pain, but he was able to move more than he could before, and he had some vague phantom sensations in his legs. But in spite of that, the prognosis for him had not changed. He was trying to keep his spirits up, and think about what he was going to do when he got back to the States, but the changes he was facing now were unspeakably hard.

He had become a favorite with the nursing staff, and there were whispered exchanges as people tried to guess what his relationship with Isabelle was, but there was no easy explanation for what they saw. Most of them guessed that he'd been having an affair with her, and one of the nurses had overheard him telling his wife that he wanted a divorce, but whatever his situation was, or had been, with Isabelle, they knew that they liked him, and thought him a very nice man.

“I'll take him!” one of the nurses said while talking to a group of her co-workers in the cafeteria. “He's a good-looking guy.” But he hadn't made advances toward any of them, he was never fresh, rude, ungentle-manly, and everyone who talked to him genuinely admired him. They also noted that the American ambassador had come to see him several times.

“What does he do?” another nurse asked, looking confused, she couldn't remember what she'd heard, although they knew that he was an important man.

“Something in politics,” one of Isabelle's nurses said. “He must have been crazy about her. It's such a shame.” They were all in full agreement on that.

Gordon hadn't been back to see his wife yet, and neither had Sophie when Cynthia and their daughters came back after their Paris trip. They were in high spirits when they arrived, and they looked sobered when they left, after Cynthia and Bill told the girls that they were getting divorced. Olivia and Jane were shocked.

“Why?” Olivia sat in her father's hospital room and cried. “You guys love each other… don't you? Mom? … Dad?? …” The girls had always thought that they did, but Bill tried to explain that they had drifted apart over the years, and he thought it was better for both of them if they parted ways. He didn't want to tell them about their mother's affairs, or how unhappy they'd both been. They'd kept it to themselves for years. And he had to admit, he thought things were better in some ways since he'd told her it was over for him. He felt more honest and open with her now. But Cynthia made it clear to him before they left that if he changed his mind, she would prefer to stay married to him. But Bill was gentle but firm. He no longer wanted to be married to her. All his dreams now were of Isabelle.

“It's better this way,” he insisted, but Cynthia was very upset by the reaction of the girls. He didn't want to explain that he couldn't see her married to an invalid, or someone handicapped at best. But more than anything, he just wasn't in love with her anymore. What he had felt for Isabelle had told him many things about himself and what he didn't have. He didn't want to live a lie anymore. He knew he would never have a life with Isabelle, whether she recovered or not, but the fact that he was and had been in love with her was enough to tell him that it was time for him to get out of a loveless marriage he'd been willing to settle for, for too long.

He was quiet and pensive after they left. And he had promised to call the girls often when they got home. They asked their mother on the way back to the hotel if they thought their father was a little crazy from the accident, or the bump on his head, and if she thought he might change his mind. She smiled sadly and shook her head.

“He's not crazy. I guess I was for a long time. I wasn't a very good wife to him,” she confessed. “I took him for granted, and I resented his success and independence, which was lousy of me.” They had seen none of it, which was something at least, and they were crushed at the thought that their parents would live in separate homes.

“How's Daddy going to take care of himself now?” Jane asked, looking worried. His injuries were serious, and they had been told that he might not be able to walk again.

“I don't know,” Cynthia said with a sigh. “He's very proud, and very capable. He'll figure something out. But in answer to your question, Jane, no, I don't think he'll change his mind. He never does. Once he gets an idea in his head, he usually sticks with it, no matter what. He won't even admit it if he's made a mistake, he'll just live with it. But as much as I hate what he's doing, I don't think it's wrong for him.” In a way, he had done what he wanted to, he had preserved their friendship by ending their marriage, and in spite of her regrets, Cynthia admired him for it. She just felt sorry for the girls, it was a real blow for them, and she was frightened for herself. She knew she'd never find another man like Bill.

“Do you think he was having an affair with Isabelle Forrester?” Olivia asked her honestly, and Cynthia thought about it. She had pondered it a lot herself.

“I just don't know. He says not, and he's never lied to me, that I know of anyway. I think he's in love with her, but I don't think they did anything they shouldn't have. She's very much married to Gordon Forrester, from what your father says. I think maybe they were infatuated with each other, or just friends.”

“Do you think Dad would ever marry her, if she survives?” Jane asked, looking concerned.

“I don't think that's an issue now,” Cynthia answered, the poor woman was almost dead, “but no, I don't, even if she lives. Your father says she'll never leave Forrester, and her whole life revolves around an invalid child.”

“What do you think Dad's going to do now, after he gets home … I mean, back to the States …” Olivia looked sad as she asked.

“I don't know. Get an apartment, I guess. Go back to work. He's going to be in rehab for a long time. I don't think he'll even come back for a couple of months. They want to work with him here.” The girls nodded and were quiet the rest of the way back to the hotel. They still couldn't believe what they'd just heard. And Cynthia still couldn't quite believe the decision he'd made.

It was so like Bill to do what he thought was the right thing, no matter how difficult it was. She had come out of their marriage with a deep respect for him, and she knew there would never be another man like him in her life. She just wished now that she'd figured that out before. She knew that most of the responsibility for the divorce was hers, no matter how much of the blame he was willing to take himself.