Danielle Steel - The Ranch

“I'm scared,” he said in the soft light of dawn. He had never admitted that to anyone before, but he said it to her, just as she told him all her secrets. “What if this never happened?… What if it all goes away again, what if…”

“Stop it… I love you…” she said. “I'm not going anywhere. I'm just a girl from Texas,” she smiled, “don't you forget that.” He laughed in the soft morning light, and they made love again, and it was ten o'clock when they woke up again, and she strolled into his living room stark naked.

“Oh, my God,” he said, staring at her. “How did this happen to me?” He sat on the edge of the bed with a look of amazement, and she laughed happily.

“I think we both figured it was a good idea, some time around midnight. Or were you drunk?” she teased, but he still looked awestruck.

“I don't mean that… I mean look at you. Lawd, lawd… look at that woman. It's Tanya Thomas waikin’ buck naked around my living room holding a cup of coffee from my kitchen.” She laughed at the way he said it, and he laughed too. It was a crazy thought, all of it. Him, her, the place her life had gotten to, the fact that people wanted to tear her clothes off and rip her hair out.

“You look pretty good to me too,” she grinned, and she proved it to him in his living room on the floor and on his couch, and then back in his bed. He was torn between spending the day making love to her and showing her all the things he wanted to share with her. It was a tough decision, but he told her that the best time for them to leave would be when everyone went to lunch. So at noon, they made a quiet getaway, and much to their delight no one saw them. She was wearing her jeans, an old hat, and she tied an old workshirt of his just beneath her breasts. She looked spectacular, and he shook his head in mock amazement at his fate, as she put on the radio and turned up the music.

She had left a message for the others at the ranch that she'd be back sometime that night. She wanted to spend the whole day with him, and she did.

They'd gone to a waterfall that day, and he had driven her high into the mountains. The view had been incredible, and they had gone for a long, long walk, while he talked about his childhood, his family, his dreams. She had never felt as comfortable with anyone in her life. And on their way back to town, he stopped at an old ranch. He said it had been one of the finest in town once, but the owner had died, and it wasn't showy enough for the kind of people coming to Jackson Hole now. A couple of movie stars had looked at it, and some German guy. Gordon knew the realtors. It was being offered at a fair price, and it needed some work, but most people thought it was too far out of town and too rustic. It was about forty minutes from Jackson Hole, and it looked like something in an old cowboy movie to Tanya. They walked around and peeked inside. It had a good-size ranch house, and three or four decent cabins for employees. It had stables that were in disrepair, and a big handsome barn, it needed some fixing up, but the meat was there, and it was obvious to Tanya that Gordon loved it.

“I'd like to buy a place like this myself one day,” he said, squinting out at the mountains. You could look right down into the valley from where they were standing. There were some beautiful rides, and it was good land for horses.

“What would you do with it?”

“Fix it up. Breed horses probably. There's good money in that. But you've got to have start-up money to do it.” It seemed a shame to him that no one had ever bought the place. He thought they were all missing the point. And Tanya agreed with him. She liked the ruggedness of it, and she could just imagine hiding away in a place like that all winter. You could do great things with the ranch house.

“Could you get in and out of here in the snow?” she asked, and he nodded.

“Sure. The road is good. You could get out easily with a snowplow. You'd have to send some of the horses south, but you could probably keep some here, with a heated barn.” And then he laughed at himself for making plans with a ranch he didn't own. But Tanya was glad he'd shared it with her.

They drove around for a while after that, and then he took her to dinner at an old ramshackle restaurant half an hour out of town, where a lot of old cowboys hung out. There were fancier places he would have taken her to, but he was afraid that anywhere they went, people would recognize her, and they'd start another riot. But she liked the funny old place they went to, and after that they went back to his place. She'd had a great time, and knew she should go back, but she didn't want to. She sat in his living room with him, listening to music. And then, for the fun of it, he put on his favorite CD of her singing, and she sang it for him, and he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt sure that he was dreaming, he said, and she laughed at him.

“No, you're not,” she laughed, and started to take his clothes off.

“Yes, I am,” he said, laughing too, “this is a fantasy, just look at what I'm dreaming… I'm listening to Tanya and she's taking my clothes off…”

“No, she's not,” she denied what was happening, as he took hers off too, “and you're not taking hers off either…” They were laughing, and playing with each other and kissing, and he couldn't believe how much he loved her or how she excited him. And a minute later, they wound up back in his bedroom. And they didn't look at the clock again until long after midnight.

“Maybe I should just move my things in here,” she said sleepily, with a deep, sexy voice that drove him wild, and he smiled, thinking of what she had done to him and how much he liked it.

“I'm sure Mrs. Collins would be glad to help us. I'll just tell her I'm offering you my cabin for the rest of the week.” They both laughed.

“Or you could move in with us.”

“That would be nice,” he approved, and she started making love to him again, as he moaned and writhed beneath her tongue and fingers. “Oh, God… that is nice, Tanny…” They lay together until the dawn, and then she knew she had to get up before someone saw her. But she hated to leave him.

“I don't want you to,” he said sadly, watching her dress after he showered with her in his tiny bathroom. And that had almost started everything again, but this time he knew they couldn't. “What am I going to do when you go?” he asked, looking like a lost child, and she smiled at him. She wanted so badly to be with him. And she knew he was referring to Sunday when she had to leave for L.A., to continue fighting her battles.

“Why don't you come with me?” she asked, knowing it was a wild idea, but she didn't want to leave him either. But he was far wiser than she was.

“And how long would that last? What would I do? Answer the phone? Carry in flowers for you? Answer fan mail? Be your bodyguard? You'd hate me after a little bit, and so would I. No, Tanny,” he said sadly, “I don't belong there.”

“Neither do I,” she said unhappily, not sure how to resolve the problem.

“But it's your life, not mine. You'd hate me after a while.” He was smart. That was exactly what had happened to Bobby Joe. He had truly detested her by the time he went back to Texas. “I don't want to do that.”

“So what happens to us?” she asked, looking panicked.

“I don't know. You tell me. I could come to visit once in a while, for as long as you could stand it, or I could. You could come back here. You could get yourself a place here, it might do you good. A place to come to and get sane again after the kind of lunacy we saw the other night. If you lived here, it'd be different. You could live here part of the year, Tan… and I'd be here waiting for you. If I had a life with you here, going to LA. with you would make some kind of sense. I'll do anything you want, stay, let go, disappear, wait for you, I just don't want to go to L.A., give up my whole life, and watch you come to hate me.”