Mary Robb - Down the Rabbit Hole

He was not going to tell her that he had already told his aunt and his sister that he was going to marry her, nor that he’d included the locket in his portrait. He would tell her he loved her and that he hoped the twenty-first century had shown her, as it had shown him, that anything was possible where two hearts were as one.

He paced the room while he waited, touching items at random; a porcelain figurine on the mantel that reminded him of his sister, one of the leather-bound books that looked as though it was frequently pulled from the shelf, the velvet softness of a tulip in one of the arrangements that appeared on a regular basis. His aunt’s doing, no doubt. How many rooms did she fill with flowers?

Why should a trip through time awaken in him the realization that he did not know his household, his family, or his world as well as he should? Because he now knew how temporary it was? How easily space and time could be shifted to a different reality?

Weston doubted that he would ever time travel again, but once was enough to change his view of this world and to realize that the future was, in some part, up to him.

The footman opened the door and Alice entered. She came to him, smiling a little but with her hands folded neatly at her waist and not the slightest sign of nerves.

“Thank you for coming, Miss Kemp.” He gestured to the footman to leave the door open.

“Thank you, my lord, for considering the proprieties.”

He nodded. “It’s nice to see you smiling,” he began.

“I do believe that Mr. Arbuckle’s Miss Amy did me a favor. Lady Anne is so relieved to have her gone and me in her place that she has yet to find fault with any of my suggestions.”

“About that, Alice, there have been some changes in the last hour. I talked to Anne about what she truly wants from her London Season. What she truly wants.” He went on to explain his sister’s true wishes and how he was going to permit her to have the Season she longed for.

Alice took it all in and stayed silent almost a minute. Well, for thirty seconds, at least. “Does that mean there is no place for me here now?”

He took a step closer to her, but when she stiffened just a little he did not reach out for her. “There is a place for you here. If there is one thing I learned in the future it is that times change, but they can only change if someone sets the change in motion.”

“Yes, divorce is so commonplace in the future that it seems absurd that it spells social ostracism here.”

“And we can begin that change if we set it in motion by marrying and announcing to the world that love is more important to us than social acceptance.”

“So our possible marriage is going to change how the Regent and the ton view marriage and divorce?”

“I have no doubt of it,” Weston said, ignoring her skeptical tone. “If we show the world that we mean to be a part of society despite your parents’ behavior, then I am convinced that eventually they will accept us.”

Alice nodded but was still not smiling. “And given that Lady Anne’s true reason for her Season is to enjoy music and not necessarily to find a match, we need not worry about how our marriage will affect her prospects?”

“Exactly.”

“Weston, darling man, I would marry you in a minute if the reaction of the world were my only concern.”

As she spoke, Alice took a step back; several, in fact. Her voice was so full of regret that Weston was afraid, actually afraid.

“What society would think was a logical reason to refuse you before, but now, the reality of the future has made me see it differently.” She drew a deep breath and shook her head. “The real reason is far more personal.”

“Tell me.” He was angry now, and he knew it showed in his voice.

“I will.” With another breath she began. “Do you know how many times my aunt told me I was just like my mother? Just like her.” Alice closed her eyes. “The very thought terrifies me.” She put her hand on her heart. “It fills me with a soul-wrenching fear that I will commit myself to you and then make your life, our lives, a living hell.”

“Alice, I cannot imagine that happening.” Though he could see by the fear, the pain, in her eyes how real it was for her. “We love each other. Your mother’s marriage was presented as a fait accompli. I can only wonder why someone with her spirit agreed to it.”

“Wes, you’re thinking like someone from the twenty-first century. The marriage seemed ideal to her. A husband with wealth and position. A fabulous country home and a town house in London. She assumed that she would provide him with an heir and then be free to find entertainment elsewhere. No one, no one warned her that his jealousy was so easily aroused. No one suspected that every physician they consulted would tell her that after me there would be no more children. The divorce, when it came, was almost as businesslike as the marriage proposal. My father wanted an heir and would give up my respectability to attain it.”

She threw up her hands in disgust. “Based on what we saw in 2005, I agree that the rejection she experienced is ridiculous. But it is the way it is in this time and place.”

Before he could answer her, she went on.

“My whole view of this world is different, now that I have seen the future.” She grasped his arms. “Please tell me you agree that women should be free to choose the life they want.”

Weston nodded. “Have I ever denied you that, Alice? When you said no I did not press you or go to your father and have him add his support.”

“It was never you I feared. I worried endlessly about what society would think. What your sister would say. How your trustees would respond.”

“Alice, we completely agree that women should be free to choose the life they want. We agree that means you are free to choose marriage, if that’s the life you want?”

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

“Honestly I cannot see you as a military officer, as fine as you would look in the uniform.” His attempt to lighten the moment failed.

“Wes, I am still afraid that I will fail you.”

“I am not. I know Alice Kemp’s heart as well as I know my own, and while we may sometimes differ in our views of the world, I have no doubt we will listen and learn from each other with open minds and hearts.”

She pressed her lips together for a moment and then laughed out loud. “How can you know me so much better than I know myself?”

“So you will consider marriage?” He was afraid to say it aloud, to give words to his hope. Before she answered, Alice walked over and closed the door.

She came back to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly, which was just as well, since her touch was a wild distraction.

“Yes! Yes, I will marry you, my lord earl!” She leaned back in his arms. “To be married to you, to share a lifetime, is all the wonderland this Alice could ever want.” She laughed out loud again. “Oh dear heaven, it feels so wonderful to say it. To admit it is what I have always wanted.”

They sealed their agreement in the traditional way, so it was quite a little while before Weston brought up his next item for discussion.

“The coin, Alice.” She was tucked against him on the sofa, and he thought she might have fallen asleep. “The very magical coin.” He felt her nod and kissed the top of her head.

“Did you ever actually wish on the coin, Wes?”

When he shook his head, she nodded. “Neither did I.”

“And I am not going to start now, since I already have my heart’s fondest wish.”

“There are any number of practical things we could ask for.”

“If you want to make a wish, I will fetch the coin from the conservatory where the artist is finding the proper place for it in my portrait.”