Неизвестный - 3. In Pursuit Of Justice

“No,” Catherine said. “It seems very much like you. Utilitarian, and a little bit…” she quirked an eyebrow, grinning at Rebecca, “Spartan.”

“Spartan, huh?” Rebecca laughed, too, and began to relax. “Can I get you something? I’ve got soda, I think, and…” her voice trailed off as she followed Catherine’s gaze.

“Is that yours?” Catherine asked quietly, her tone carefully neutral. Her heart was pounding furiously, but she knew that her voice sounded calm. That was the benefit of years of training.

Rebecca stared at the half empty bottle of Johnnie Walker Black on her coffee table. “Yes.”

“Are you drinking?” It terrified her more than she would have ever dreamed to think of Rebecca in any kind of trouble, physically or emotionally. If she were drinking again, then something was very wrong. To find that something that serious could be happening to someone she loved and that she wouldn’t even know, wouldn’t even suspect, made her wonder what exactly had happened to the two of them. How could they have drifted so far part? “Rebecca?” Catherine asked again into the silence.

Rebecca took a deep breath. “No, I’m not.”

“But you bought it?”

“Yes. I did. Four nights ago.” She shrugged out of her jacket and released the clasp on her shoulder holster, removing it and stowing it in its customary spot on top of the bookcase next to the door to her bedroom. Turning, she asked, “Can I take your jacket?”

Catherine simply nodded and slipped it from her shoulders. Approaching Rebecca, she held it out in one hand. Rebecca took it and carefully placed it on a hanger in the small closet next to the front door. She walked to the sofa, lifted the bottle of scotch in one hand, and carried it into the kitchen. She returned empty-handed and sat on the sofa. Catherine sat down beside her.

“Why?” Catherine asked, leaning toward her but not yet touching her.

“I’ve asked myself that every day for the last four days,” Rebecca said at length. “I can’t tell you exactly why, but I was lonely, and I was angry, and I was tired. I can usually deal with one or two of those things at one time, but when they all come together, I mostly just want to forget.”

The words and her expression shredded Catherine’s soul. “Is it me?”

“No,” Rebecca said, her voice a whisper. “It’s me.”

“Who is it?” Sandy called irritably.

“It’s me.”

She opened the door and regarded her unexpected visitor. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them moved; each leaned against the doorjamb on opposite sides of the threshold, regarding one another as if uncertain what to say next. Finally, Sandy said, “It’s three o’clock in the morning, Dell. What’s going on?”

“Did you talk to Frye tonight?”

Sandy’s eyes sparked with sudden anger. “We’re not going there.”

“Just tell me you’re not doing something crazy for her.”

“What I do for her or anyone else isn’t any of your business,” Sandy said, starting to close the door.

Mitchell straight armed the door before it could close completely, but she made no move to enter the room. “You met her tonight, didn’t you? I don’t want you to tell me what you told her. Just tell me if you’re doing anything except passing on information.”

“Go home, Dell,” Sandy said, but her voice was softer now.

“Please, Sandy,” Mitchell said with a note of quiet desperation. “I can’t sleep. I keep thinking… these guys…”

“There’s a reason we can’t be friends,” Sandy said, her eyes impossible to read but her tone bitter. “And this is it. For a little while, you can forget what I do, who I am. But not all the time, right, Dell? And this is what happens.”

“You’re wrong,” Dell whispered. “The only thing I can’t forget is the way you looked lying in that alley with blood on your face.”

Sandy blinked. The torment in Dell’s deep blue eyes was impossible to ignore. She wasn’t certain what brought the tears to her own eyes — the fact that Dell was hurting or the fact that the young cop could feel something like that for her. All she knew for certain was that no one had made her cry in a very long time, and she had sworn that no one ever would again. In a voice she didn’t recognize, she asked, “Are you coming in?”

“No,” Mitchell said hoarsely, her entire body trembling.

“Why not?”

Because I want to so bad.

Breathless, Catherine rolled over and pushed Rebecca away. “I have yet to determine how it is that every time I intend to have a serious conversation with you I end up in bed with you instead.”

“Sorry,” Rebecca gasped. “I think I started that.”

“Well,” Catherine murmured, linking her fingers with Rebecca’s as she stared at the ceiling in the semi darkness, “you had help finishing it.”

Rebecca waited for Catherine to continue, wondering what she was going to ask or what she hoped to hear. When the silence between them expanded to fill the room, Rebecca spoke out of a desperate need to break through the barriers between them. “Every night I poured a glass of scotch and sat staring at it… I don’t know for how long. Then I’d get up and pour it down the sink.”

Catherine turned on her side to study Rebecca’s profile in the moonlight. “Does anyone know?”

Startled, Rebecca replied, “Who would know?”

I should know. But this wasn’t the time for that. “Watts… or Whitaker?”

“No,” Rebecca replied abruptly. Then, aware of her defensive tone, she added more softly, “I can’t talk to Whitaker about this, Catherine. I’m still waiting for him to sign off on my incident evaluation. The last thing I can tell him is that I feel like getting drunk.”

“I understand, believe me. I see people every week who don’t want their employers to know. Still, it would probably help if you talked to…someone about this,” Catherine said carefully. “A friend or…me.” Gently, she stroked the length of Rebecca’s arm. “But keeping it inside is going to make it harder not to drink.”

“I know. I think I’m past it now. I emptied the bottle down the drain tonight.”

Catherine felt a small swell of relief, but she knew it was never that easy. “And the next time?”

After a pause, Rebecca answered quietly, “Next time… I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you,” Catherine whispered. “What you did, not drinking, was incredibly difficult, Rebecca. I’m proud of you.”

Rebecca turned on her side to face Catherine, her palm resting on the crest of Catherine’s hip, their bodies only inches apart. “I want to make things right between us. And I don’t know how.”

“What we’re doing right now will make things right between us,” Catherine said, her voice tight with emotion. “I need to know you, Rebecca. Not just all the strong, brave, wonderful parts of you, but the parts that are uncertain or lonely or…frightened.”

“I need practice at this.”

“So do I,” Catherine admitted. “I haven’t cared about anyone like this before, Rebecca. You bring up feelings in me I didn’t even know I was capable of having. Before you, my life was ordered and settled and comfortable.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” Rebecca said with a hint of laughter.

Catherine laughed, too. “No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t bad at all; it was just not remarkable. Being with you is quite remarkable.”

“Captain Henry told me that I could be promoted to Lieutenant if I wanted it,” Rebecca said in a low voice. “I could tell him yes.”

“Do you want that?”

“I wouldn’t be on the street as much. I’d have more regular hours.”

Catherine leaned closer and kissed the point of Rebecca’s shoulder. “And you’d do that for me?”