Неизвестный - 06. Honor Under Siege

“Blair—”

“And of course,” Blair went on undeterred, “she is those things, isn’t she? But she’s also as single-minded and stubborn and…and reckless, in her way, as you and all the rest.” Blair threw up her hands. “God, Cameron. Is there no other way?”

“We don’t think so.”

“I know there are things you’re not telling me, but you don’t need to spell it out for me to know how dangerous this is. How worried about you do I need to be?”

Cam kept her gaze steady but she flashed on Valerie, alone, with a man who very probably wanted to kill her. “I’ll be backup. It’s far more dangerous for her.”

Blair tilted her head as if listening to something that hung in the air between them. “You’re frightened. Frightened for her.”

“I always worry about my team—”

“No, it’s more than that.” Blair closed the distance between them and settled her hands lightly on Cam’s waist. “It’s okay. I know how you feel about her.”

Cam shook her head. “No. You don’t.”

Blair smiled wistfully. “You are everything in the world to me. And you love me perfectly, Cam. Perfectly.”

“I wish I did.” Cam frowned as she skimmed her fingers through Blair’s hair. “But I swear I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, and never will.”

“See what I mean?” Blair kissed her softly. “Perfectly.” She traced the column of Cam’s neck and slid her fingers underneath the collar of her blue button-down shirt. “I’d like to ask you a favor.”

“I’ll do it if I can.”

“Let Savard lead the operation. You’re too close to Valerie and I’m afraid of what you’ll do if she’s in trouble.”

Cam rested her forehead against Blair’s. “I have the most experience with operations like this. Savard is not a hundred percent. I can’t let Valerie do this without the best backup possible.” She looked deeply into Blair’s eyes. “It has to be me.”

When Blair framed Cam’s face, her hands trembled. “Promise me that you will not sacrifice yourself for her. I don’t care about your duty. I don’t care about your honor. I care that you come home to me. So you promise me that.”

“I…” Cam thought about what it meant to have Valerie and Savard and the others place their trust in her, to lead them into danger with the pledge that she would guard their well-being with her life. She thought about what it meant to ask for the love of a woman. She had asked for Blair’s love, and her vow had been sworn the first time Blair had said I love you and she had not walked away. “I promise.”

Diane found Valerie on the beach.

“I’m sorry if you wanted to be alone.” She kept both hands in the pockets of her coat, even though she wanted to touch her. “Savard and Felicia came up to the house for a late supper and said that you’d gone for a walk.”

Valerie slid both arms around Diane’s shoulders and kissed her softly on the mouth. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad to see you. I’m sorry I lost track of time.”

“It’s cold and you don’t have any gloves.”

“I’m fine.”

Diane pressed close to her. “You’re not. You’re shivering.”

Valerie smiled. “Let’s go inside, then. Have you eaten?”

“Not tonight. I was waiting for you.”

“Sorry.”

Diane kissed her lightly. “Stop saying that.”

“All right.” Valerie took Diane’s hand. “Let’s grab something quick to eat and warm up in bed.”

“If I have a choice between you in bed or a meal, I’m not going to need dinner.”

Valerie laughed. “Then let’s go to bed first and have a midnight snack later.”

“What I have in mind might take longer than midnight to accomplish.” Diane drew Valerie’s hand into her pocket as they climbed through the dunes. “I want to make love to you because I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“I think I hear a but,” Valerie said gently.

Diane took a breath. “But I don’t want to be with you while part of my mind is wondering what secret you’re keeping. Is it something you can tell me?”

Valerie stopped on the back porch and pulled Diane into the shelter of her body, out of the wind. She rested her cheek against Diane’s. “We’re planning an operation. I’m preoccupied, that’s all.”

“An operation. You and Cam and the others?”

“Yes.”

“Will it be dangerous?”

Valerie hesitated. “It could be if we’re careless, but we’re not going to be.”

“I don’t have any experience with this. I’ve known Blair most of our lives and I thought I had some understanding of what her life was like, but I was wrong.”

Valerie stiffened. “I had no right to drag you into this. It might be better if I left.”

Diane turned Valerie until she could see her face in the faint light coming through the windows from the house. “Is that what you want? To leave me—to leave us?”

“No,” Valerie whispered faintly.

“Then don’t ever say that again. Just give me time to get used to this. Can you do that?”

“Yes. God, yes. Anything.” Valerie kissed her again, her fingers trembling as she cupped Diane’s face. She buried her face in the warmth of Diane’s throat. “Anything, anything as long as I don’t lose you.”

“You must be certain that I don’t lose you either.” Diane kissed Valerie urgently. “All right?”

Mutely, Valerie nodded, hoping that her silence would be taken as the promise she couldn’t make.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Thursday

Valerie grabbed the phone on the first ring and slipped from bed.

“Yes?” She moved to the window and peered out into a starless black night. She was barely silhouetted, but Diane could still make out the shimmering outline of her body.

“I’m ready…I had to be sure. Yes. Yes, but I don’t trust her.” She lowered her voice and Diane strained to hear. “Look, I can’t talk… Where?…No, somewhere I can be sure you’re alone. Trust?” She laughed harshly. “You might be followed…Look, forget it. I’ll just… Yes, that will work. All right, if that’s what you want…No, that’s too soon. Because I don’t want to alert anyone here to what I’m doing… Yes. Fine. The usual.”

After breaking the connection, Valerie remained still in the silent room, listening to the echo of his voice and the breathing of the woman in the bed. Between those two people lay the boundaries of her world— past and future—bordered by truth and lies. Quietly, she made her way across the room and slipped back into bed. She drew Diane into her arms. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“How did you know?” Diane asked.

“I could tell from the way you’re breathing.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

Valerie grimaced. “It’s funny, I was trained to do two opposite things equally well. To avoid intimacy with anyone, while at the same time being sensitive to every nuance of expression and movement. It seems I’ve spent my life watching, but never living.”

Diane took Valerie’s hand and drew it to her breast. “I’m alive and I’m very real. So is my love for you.”

“Why?” Valerie murmured, cradling Diane’s breast and brushing her lips over the nipple. “I can’t imagine this is what you want.”

“This? You mean being with you?”

“Everything that being with me means.” Valerie sighed and rested her cheek between Diane’s breasts, still softly caressing her nipple.

“Your phone call. That was the person you report to, right?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to meet with him.”

“Yes.”

“You lied to him, about not trusting someone here. Cam, I guess.”

“Yes, I lied to him,” Valerie said, holding very still.