Broken Trails

She forced a smile and agreed, unable to come up with a valid reason to deny him.

After a quick lesson on the operation of the snow machine, she saddled up with Howry behind her. The controls were not much different than the ATVs she had used all summer. Too bad, she thought. If she could not drive one, maybe she could have ridden with someone else.

Rye, Irish, and Scotch each rode a machine, and the yard was filled with the whine of engines and the barking of the dogs. Scotch looked back and waved at Lainey to follow her. Her brother and sister each went in another direction, off to check the snow levels of their favorite stretches of trail.

Lainey surged forward with a jerk, causing Howry to clutch at her and curse. She grinned despite trepidation at his upcoming questions. As she became used to the vehicle controls, she felt him relax his grip, and she heaved a sigh of relief. Her ribs were definitely giving her more trouble today. She could already tell she would be spending a large amount of her free time at the hot springs.

The trails were almost alien to her, though she had just been on them the day before. White powder covered the familiar landscape, turning it into another realm. Branches which had been above her head now drooped under the weight of snow. In some places, only the brightly fluttering plastic markers indicated where she should go, jogging her memory. Scotch rode ahead of her, breaking the trail, and Lainey gave her plenty of lead to keep from running into her when she occasionally bogged down in snow drifts.

“So, what happened this morning?”

Lainey pursed her lips. “What do you mean?” she asked, not willing to give in so easily.

“Don’t be coy, Lainey. You don’t wear it well,” Howry said, his voice raised to be heard over the engine. “We both know what I’m talking about.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

He remained silent behind her for a full minute. “Think I should talk to Scotch instead?”

“Bastard,” she said under her breath.

Howry hugged her closer. “What was that?”

Lainey looked over her shoulder. “I said you’re a bastard.”

“Good to know I haven’t lost my touch.”

His laugh triggered her sense of the absurd, and she joined him. It was far better than crying.

“Seriously, Lainey, what’s going on? You two have a fight over something?”

She sobered. Before her, Scotch took the left branch of a trail, standing on the machine as she disappeared down an embankment. Lainey braced herself and followed. Once they were back on level ground, she slowed to give Scotch more room. “I don’t think Scotch is straight.”

“What? I don’t think I heard you right. Scotch isn’t…?”

“Straight!” she yelled. Up ahead, the topic of conversation must have heard something because she glanced backwards. No, surely Lainey had not shouted loud enough for that. Scotch was only checking the distance between them.

“Really?” Howry drawled. “How do you figure?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Don. I guess when she tried to kiss me I kind of figured things were off.”

He loosened his grip, slightly pulling away from her deep sarcasm. “You’re joking.”

Lainey grumbled to herself. “I wish.”

He did not need to hear her to understand what she said.

As he digested this new information, she concentrated on driving. Scotch pulled onto another trail, waving Lainey toward one that paralleled her course. She gave the snow machine more gas and caught up to her roommate. Breaking the trail made the journey a bit rougher, but no less enjoyable. A thin line of deciduous trees flickered between them, giving Lainey the weird sensation of watching a reel of film at slow speed. Her heart warmed as she saw Scotch smile at her. At least the morning’s oddness had not affected their friendship too severely.

Howry took advantage of their proximity to take a rapid series of photos.

“How’re you doing?” Scotch yelled.

“Great! Where to next?”

“Let’s head to the river, see how it’s doing there. We’ll need to slow down some.”

“Okay. Lead on!”

Scotch nodded agreement and pulled ahead. At a break in the tree line, Lainey crossed over to the other trail, feeling the fine mist of granulated snow as Scotch picked up speed and rooster tailed. Howry laughed and she joined him.

“So, she made the moves on you, huh?”

Lainey rolled her eyes. She had hoped he would drop the topic, but she supposed she had not given him his due. He was a newsman, through and through. “Yeah. She said she was happy I was here, and the next thing I knew, we were closing in for the clincher.”

“Did she come to her senses and realize I’m a far better catch than an old, broken down war horse like you?”

Despite the churn of emotions, Lainey smiled. “Actually, we were saved by the sister. Irish interrupted before anything could happen.”

“Hmmm, my sympathies to you then.”

“Don…”

“I know! I know! Even though you’ve wandered around for months mooning over her, you can’t conceive of slaking your unrequited passions in her bed. I understand.”

She wondered if she could find a ditch to jump and dislodge him from behind her.

“No. Scratch that. I don’t understand,” he continued. “What’s the problem? I’d think you’d be shedding your parka and skipping into her arms by now.”

“God, you’re an idiot,” she told him.

“That’s not news.”

She chuckled. “You don’t get it. Scotch has just figured out she’s either gay or bi. This is all new ground for her.”

Howry whistled. “Lucky for her you’re here to show her the ropes, huh?”

“Don!”

“What?” he asked in the same sharp tone. “I’m just a straight man; I’m not getting it here. Enlighten me.”

Lainey refused to speak. Howry was not a dense man. If he could not figure it out, she certainly was not going to tell him. Scotch took the a trail to the right. Lainey pushed the snow machine to its limit as she turned followed, causing Howry to clutch at her in abrupt fear of being thrown.

“Holy shit.”

At first, she thought he swore because of her attempt to lose him in a snow drift.

“You love her.”

Lainey swallowed, her lungs suddenly not big enough to give her enough oxygen. She wheezed a couple of times, her heart thumping so hard, she was certain he could feel it through his thick gloves and her parka.

Love.

As she regained control of her body, a sardonic grunt left her throat. Of course. Infatuation was the wrong word entirely. Being a journalist, she needed a good command of the language. Funny how her mind had danced around the term but never allowed her to focus on it.

Her mother always said if you can name your demons, you can control them. Lainey wondered how to control this.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

REGARDLESS OF HER sudden emotional revelation, Lainey spent the rest of the expedition doing her damnedest to banish her demon. She doubted she was a hundred percent successful when every time she got a good look at Scotch racing ahead of her, her heart thumped in muted joy. As they neared the kennel, she felt she might have gotten a handle on her ardor. It helped that Howry had let her stew in silence after his observation. Not having to defend herself to him gave her plenty of time to work through her available options and come up with a plan.

Not that it was a good plan, but at least she had something.

The last thing Scotch needed was a distraction like this. She was aiming for the top ten in the Iditarod this year and needed to stay concentrated on her dogs and their training. It was never easy for someone to question their sexuality; coming out to one’s self was worse than coming out to family and friends. Lives had a tendency to fall apart as the soul searching took over, and Scotch could ill afford the time or heartache.