Unknown - The_Growing_589064

“Compromise?” Koda holds up the box of herbal tea and begins to fill a small saucepan with water. “Ina sent some honey. You won’t have to drink it plain.”

“Your mom’s an amazing woman. Food, clothes, books. . ..” Koda follows Kirsten’s gaze as she takes in the unexpected bounty. “What’s this in the bottom? It looks like bedding.”

“It probably is. And a snakebite kit, and a needle and thread, and a roadside flare, and—”

“—a partridge in a pear tree.” Kirsten finishes.

“Nah. The partridge is already in the freezer.” While the water boils, Koda moves the books her mother has sent into the living room, leaving some on the low chest that serves as a coffee table, shelving others. The clothes she hangs in the half of the closet of Maggie’s room that has become hers. If she is honest, the room is hers, too, and possibly the house; if Hart breaks entirely, Maggie will probably move into the commandant’s quarters. Koda returns to the kitchen to find Kirsten scooping the herbal mixture into the warmed pot, with cups and honey set on the counter. “Ready?”

“Almost,” Kirsten answers, turning to take the water off the burner and pour it over the chamomile. “Let me help you with that large bundle while this steeps.”

“I’ve got it. It’s just some—” Koda breaks off abruptly as she runs her hands down the sides of the box to lift the parcel out. It does not feel like sheets and towels at all. “No, it isn’t. It’s a blanket or a quilt, I think.” Wedged tight at the bottom, the bundle comes free suddenly, its muslin wrapper falling away to reveal a blazing spectrum of reds and oranges and golden yellow, highlighted here and there by deep peacock shades of blue and violet.

“Well, that would have been handy back in February— ” Kirsten, turning toward the stove, stops as if rooted to the floor, her hand halfway to the handle of the saucpan. “God, that’s beautiful!”

Koda runs her hand gently over the myriad small lozenges that make up the pattern, letting the folds of the quilt fall open to reveal the full design. “It’s a star quilt,” she says quietly.

“It looks almost like a Maltese cross,” Kirsten says. Carefully, she turns off the burner and pours the hot water into the teapot. “May I?”

Koda nods, and together they maneuver the half-open quilt out of the kitchen and into the living room, spreading it over the back of the couch in front of the fire burning low in the grate. Kirsten gasps as the design comes into full view, the eight-pointed star covering almost the entire field of the quilt, worked all in the colors of fire, from its blue heart to its white edges. Kneeling in front of the couch, running her hands gently over the fabric, she says, “It means something, doesn’t it? I mean, you don’t just sleep under this, do you?”

“You can, but no, not usually.” Koda moves a couple books and sits on the chest. Her fingers trace the gradual shading from electric blue at the heart of the star, through yellow and flame orange and red and yellow again. Almost she can feel heat rising from it, the blaze at the heart of the star searing her skin. “A quilt like this is given at times of change in a person’s life. A marriage, a promotion, a coming of age. Sometimes it’s the commemoration of a death.”

“Your wolf,” Kirsten says softly.

“Wa Uspewikakiyape. Yes.” Again Koda runs her hand over the quilt’s surface, tracing the impossibly small, even stitches. “Mother had this one on the frame when I left home back in December.”

“Why a star?”

Koda pauses a moment, studying Kirsten’s face. Love is there, in the softly parted lips; pain in the shadowed eyes. The other woman is a scientist, though, finding her truth in numbers and measurements, in electrons streaming down the tidy paths cut by mathematical formulae. How much of the unquantifiable shaman’s way can she tolerate? How far be willing to follow? “In Lakota tradition,” Koda says, slowly, choosing her words carefully, “there are two roads. One, the Red Road, begins in the east with the dawn, and moves toward the west. This is our life on Ina Maka, our Mother Earth.”

“From sunrise to sunset.”

“Yes, but also from Morning Star to Evening Star. They have their counterparts in North Star and Southern Star, and the Blue Road of spirit runs between them. One who leaves the earth goes to walk the Wanaghi Tacanku, the Ghost Road, guided by Wohpe, whom we also call White Buffalo Calf Woman. At some point along that road, she makes a decision about each soul.”

“Like a last judgement? Heaven and Hell?”

Kirsten’s brow draws into a frown, and Koda reaches out a hand to smooth it away. “It depends. Some of our great teachers, like Wanblee Mato, Frank Fools Crow, say that the spirit goes on to be with Wakan Tanka for eternity. But they have been influenced by the missionaries the government sent to ‘civilize’ us.” Koda makes no effort to keep the bitterness from her voice. “A soul that is not worthy of Great Mystery is turned loose to wander forever, and I suppose that would qualify as hell.”

“Do you believe that?” The frown is back; it comes to Koda suddenly that Kirsten is struggling with something, something she is—not afraid, because Koda has seldom known a person of such courage, but perhaps—embarrassed? to speak of.

“There is another belief,” she says softly. “Older, from the time of the beginning. When Inyan created the universe, he gave a part of himself to every living thing. When the part of us that is ourselves comes to match that part the Creator has given us, then we may go on to join with him forever. If our selves do not match that divine part, or if we choose for some other reason, they we are sent back to Ina Maka, to receive a portion of her essence and be born again.” Koda slips from her seat to kneel beside Kirsten, taking her hands in her own. She says gently, “What troubles you about this?”

For a long moment it appears that Kirsten will not answer, looking down at their joined hands. Then she says, “I had a dream. In it I was—someone else, a tall woman with black hair, and an axe and shield. You were there, too, but with red hair, and a spear.” Kirsten’s voice fades almost to soundlessness, breath only. “And we loved.”

The firelight shimmers red-gold over Kirsten’s hair, limns the high planes of her cheekbones and the hollow of her throat, touches her mouth with crimson. Her eyes are lost in shadow. Silence fills the space between them.

Carefully, Koda frees one hand and raises it to trace the outline of Kirsten’s face, her fingers running along the margin between soft skin and softer hair. They trace the angle of her jaw, trail down the column of her neck where the vein pulses in a thready, staccato beat. “Kirsten,” she says, her own voice husky, a drift of smoke along the air. “Kirsten, I love you now.”

Kirsten raises her face, her eyes searching Koda’s. For a long moment she remains still, then looses her hands to run them up Koda’s shoulders and behind her neck, drawing her mouth down. The first touch of her lips brushes feather-soft against Koda’s own, a fleeting warmth like a summer breeze. Kirsten’s hands draw her closer still, and Koda opens her mouth, inviting, to the gentle brush of the other woman’s tongue. I had been hungry all the years. The thought whispers in her mind, but it is not her own. Vaguely Koda recognizes it as a line of poetry, but Kirsten’s mouth, demanding, is the reality of desire, the firm body pressed more and more insistently against her, its truth.

“I love you,” Kirsten murmurs against her lips. “I want you.”

“We mitawa ile.” Fire flows through Dakota’s veins, slipping like silk along her flesh, stealing her breath. “We ile,” she says again. “My blood burns for you.”