Susanne Novan - Driven

"What happened?" Cat asked.

Chaney shrugged. "I figured he’d do the whole tourney thing, but he told me he’d gotten the deal of a lifetime, to go to Maui with his frat boys and their sister house on spring break." She chuckled, shaking her head over the memories. "Man, we fought like fuckin’ banshees over that, lemme clue you."

"And then what?"

Chaney shrugged again. "We talked. Worked it out. Both of us had things that we would never get the chance to do again. So we did ‘em."

"We did that," Cat said.

"What? Talked?"

"Yea! She wouldn’t—she wouldn’t…." She stopped as her face drained of its color. "Fuck."

"What?" Chaney asked, startled. "What’s wrong?"

Cat was silent for a few moments, playing the conversation with Dylan over in her head. "Jesus," she whispered.

"What?" Chaney demanded. "What is it? Damnit, woman, you’re scaring me over here!"

"’You’re not saying anything. Why aren’t you saying anything?’"

"What? Cat, we need to get you some help. Quick. You’re going nutzo on me. I’ve beentalking to you!"

"No. No. I just remembered. When D…" She stopped herself just in time. "When we had that fight. We weren’t talking. Iwas talking. Yelling. Screaming.

Storming off like some kid who just got told they couldn’t go to the prom. Damnit! How could I have been so damned stupid?!"

"Hey, man," Chaney said softly, closing her large hand over Cat’s wrist gently. "It’s all cool. If she loves you, she’ll forgive you. Just talk to her."

"That’s just it." Cat’s sad gaze met her friend’s. "I don’t know if she loves me."

"You don’t?"

"No. She’s never said."

"Oh hell, Shortchange, you need the words? Does she actlike she loves you?"

Cat didn’t even need to think about that one. "Yes. She does."

"Well, there ya go then. And if you need to hear the ‘l-word’ so bad, then just ask her!"

"I…I don’t know if I could do that."

"Shit, woman, you’re ready to give up now! What damage could be done by asking her? You’ve already decided what the answer is gonna be, without even givin’ her the benefit of the doubt."

"Am I…? Shit. That’s exactly what I’m doing, isn’t it."

"Yeah. It is, Shortchange. Now, I’m not sayin’ that whatever it was that you’re arguin’ about is a good or bad thing, cause I don’t know, and I don’t think I wannaknow. But…don’t ya think maybe you should talk to her first? Then make a decision based on what she says, rather than what you thinkshe’s gonna say?"

"I…I don’t know." When she met Chaney’s eyes again, her expression was bleak. "I’m scared."

"Aww." Standing, Chaney walked around the table, squatted down, and gathered Cat into her arms, offering comfort the best way she knew how. "It’s okay, Shortchange. We all get scared over these things sometimes. We’re human, ya know?" Pulling back, she smiled at her friend. "G’wan home and think things over, Cat. I know you’ll make the right move. You’re smart like that."

Cat offered a tremulous smile, wiping at leaking eyes. "I don’t…."

"You do. Now git!"

"But the check--!"

"You let me take care of that. You’ll owe me big time later. Now go."

With effort, Cat managed to stand. "Thanks, Chane," she whispered.

"Anytime, Shortchange. See ya tomorrow at practice, ok?"

"Ok."

Chaney returned to her seat after Cat left the restaurant and, after a moment, a stunned, amazed grin spread over her face. "Holy shit!" she whispered.

"Cat’s shaggin the Coach!"

*******

Early the next morning, before the sun had fully risen, Cat found herself outside of Dylan’s house, pacing nervously back and forth next to her car and

having an intense, if internal, conversation. Alright, Cat. You can do this. It’s not like she’s gonna bite your head off or anything. She’s a reasonable person, right? Right. So go up there, tell her you acted like a total ass, beg her for her forgiveness, and…

She’d never been able to get past that stupid ‘and’ part despite her best efforts.

Before she had a chance to screw on her courage, the door opened and Dylan peered out, her face a mask of non-emotion, one eyebrow raised. "Would

you like to come in, or were you planning on standing out there all morning talking to yourself?"

Startled, Cat blushed a deep red, shamed at being caught out like this. She fought down the almost overwhelming urge to jump back into her car and drive

away. "I’m sorry. I…."

Taking a step back, Dylan opened the door wider in invitation. "C’mon in."

Slowly, with hesitant steps, Cat approached the house and slipped inside, careful not to touch the woman holding the door, lest her hard-fought resolutions crumble away to dust.

Respecting the space between them, Dylan led Cat into the living room and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch. Dylan looked down at her, hands

hanging loose at her sides. "Was there something you wanted?"

"I…um…." her voice trailed off as she realized, for the first time, what Dylan was wearing. Clad in black dress slacks and a pale blue silk top that set off the color of her eyes, Dylan was, to Cat’s eyes, a vision. "I’m keeping you from something. I should just--."

"I have time," Dylan replied, her voice level. "The photo-shoot’s at ten."

"That’s," Cat stated quickly, "what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Go on."

"I wanted…I…God, this is hard." She sighed, looking down at her clasped hands. "I wanted to say that I was…sorry…for acting like an ass the other night. I wish I could say that I didn’t know what came over me, but the truth is, I do. I was… jealous." Taking a deep breath, she let the rest of the words tumble out. "I was jealous, and instead of talking to you about my feelings, I battered you with them, then ran away like an idiot. I acted irrationally, and I’m sorry."

Winding down, she continued to stare at her hands until to silence became too uncomfortable to bear. Sneaking a peek up at Dylan through her lashes, she

swallowed hard at the mask the tall woman wore. Her heart clenched hard in her chest, and she fancied she could feel it fracture. The sting of tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them away before they could fall.

Never again , she told herself, unclasping her hands and setting them on the couch, prepared to push herself up and leave. I’ll never put my heart on the line again. It’s just too damn painful.

As she stood, she turned her face away from Dylan, unable to look at that stony mask one second more. "I…guess I’ll see you at practice, then. I’m sorry to have taken up your time."

She had almost made it to the door when Dylan’s soft voice halted her steps.

"Why were you jealous?"

"That’s a good question," Cat replied, barely aware she was speaking aloud. "I’ve thought about it a lot during these past couple days, and I don’t think I can come up with an answer that would satisfy even me."

The silence behind her gained weight, oppressive as only such silences could ever be. Her heart beating so fast and so hard that she was sure it would

pound itself right out of her chest, Cat gathered every scrap of courage she ever possessed, and gave voice to the one question she wanted…needed…

answered.

"Dylan," she began softly, so softly that Dylan, even with her exceptional hearing, had to strain to hear her, "do you love me?"

Silence reigned again, for just a moment. "Excuse me?"

Whirling, Cat pinned Dylan in place with a gaze that was open, honest, and deadly serious. "I need to know. Do you love me?"