Неизвестный - 2. Beyond The Breakwater

They stared at one another silently until Reese grinned ruefully. “I’m not too good at this, am I?”

“I think you’re wonderful,” Caroline whispered.

“Look, maybe I can…talk to her.”

“No.” Caroline rested her fingertips on Reese’s knee. “Thank you. Really. But I need to talk to her.”

“She should be back soon. She’s got a shift coming up later this afternoon.”

“Maybe she’s busy,” Caroline said softly, wondering as she had been throughout all the sleepless hours, where Bri had spent the night. Oh, what am I going to do? Maybe I’ve already lost her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

It took Bri close to an hour to walk from Allie’s bungalow back to the Breakers and pick up her bike. It was just after ten in the morning when she reached Reese and Tory’s. As she sat straddling her bike, staring up at the house, Carre appeared at the top of the stairs leading down from the rear deck. Looking pale and wan, she wrapped her arms around her chest and stared at Bri.

After pocketing her keys, Bri quickly pulled off her helmet and dismounted. She was shaking, and she didn’t think it had anything to do with the lingering vibrations from the powerful engine and the ride down. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the path and climbed the stairs. She stopped one step below Carre, putting them at eye level, and whispered, “Hey, babe.”

“Hi, baby.”

They stared at one another, a foot of space between them, a million unsaid words and a thousand unhealed hurts keeping them apart.

“You look like hell,” Caroline murmured.

“I feel like that, too.” Bri stuffed her hands in her pockets because she wanted to touch her so much.

Caroline looked away, swallowing hard. “Let’s go someplace so we can talk.”

Ten minutes later, Bri slowed and brought the bike to a halt at the far end of the parking lot at Race Point. There were a few cars in the parking lot, but the two of them didn’t walk toward the marked trail toward the beach, but headed instead down a narrow path that lead toward the lighthouse. Ordinarily, they would have held hands, but this time they walked side by side in silence. When they reached the lighthouse, they climbed around to the far side and settled with their back against the wall, close together but not touching. The dunes spread out along the wild coast below and the ocean filled their view.

“I don’t understand what’s happening with us, Bri,” Caroline finally said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to leave school? Why didn’t you talk to me about it first?”

Bri stared straight ahead, unblinking, until the tears that trembled on her lashes were carried away on the wind. Her voice was low as she answered. “I was afraid you’d talk me out of it.”

“I might have tried,” Caroline said with a shaky laugh. “You could have waited until the fall, when I…left for France. We could have had all this time together.”

“I had to do it now.”

“Why?” Caroline asked vehemently. “I don’t understand why.”

“Because I was afraid once you left I wouldn’t be able to do it.” Bri’s voice was harsh, wild.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m afraid when you leave I’m going to…” suddenly, Bri put her head down on her knees and laced the fingers of both hands behind her neck. Her words were nearly lost in the rush of air that blew off the ocean. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything without you.”

“Oh, baby,” Caroline murmured, putting her arm around Bri’s shoulders. “You can. You can do anything.”

“Not without you.”

“But I’m not leaving you.”

Bri’s head jerked up and her eyes met Caroline’s. “You don’t know that!”

Shocked, Caroline stared at her. Her first instinct was to protest, because it was unthinkable. But then she realized that Bri didn’t know that, didn’t believe that. “I love you. I have never loved anyone but you. I don’t care how long I’m gone, or how far away from me you go. I am not going to stop loving you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Bri exclaimed.

“No? Where were you last night?”

Bri blinked and her blue eyes darkened. “Jesus, Carre.”

“Did you sleep with her?” Caroline asked, her voice a strangled whisper.

“I…” She wanted to make the truth disappear. She wanted the night to do over again. She wanted not to have felt what she felt. “Almost.”

“Oh Bri,” Caroline moaned. “Oh, god.”

“Carre—”

Caroline got unsteadily to her feet. She moved a short distance away and stopped, her back to the wall of the stark white tower, holding herself with her arms around her body, trembling in the chill sea breeze. “I can’t…I can’t even think about it right now. Take me back to Tory’s.”

Bri finally found her voice and jumped to her feet. “Carre. I didn’t. “

“I saw you, Bri,” Caroline said softly. “I know you wanted to.”

“I don’t know how that happened. I didn’t go there meaning for it to happen. I was…lonely.”

“I’ve been lonely, too. And I wasn’t the one who left.”

Heart sinking, Bri watched Caroline turn and start up the path that led back to the parking lot. For a moment, she considered not going after her. Maybe if they never left this spot, they could turn back time to that magical moment four years before, when a simple kiss had turned on a light in the darkness of her despair.

Eventually, she followed, because there was no going back, no undoing what had been done.

“Caroline?” Tory asked quietly as she sat down on the sofa next to the young woman. “Honey? You okay?”

Caroline sat leaning forward, her arms folded on her knees, rocking softly. “Not really.”

“I heard Bri’s motorcycle earlier. Is she here?”

“Gone.” Caroline bit the inside of her lip. Gone. Gone, and I don’t know if she’s ever coming back.

“Can I help?”

“I don’t think so. Everything is so…crazy.” Caroline shifted and looked into Tory’s eyes. “Bri…oh god, I can’t…Bri was with this other girl…”

“What?” Tory exclaimed before she could stop herself. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“What would you do?” Caroline asked desperately. “If…if it was Reese?”

“It would hurt so terribly, I’m not sure what I would do.” She reached out and took Caroline’s hand. “It would depend, I think, on why it happened.”

“What difference would it make?”

“Sometimes, when we’re confused or a little bit lost, we make bad choices. Sometimes we don’t even chose, we just let things happen. People make mistakes.”

“I’ve got to go back to Manhattan anyhow. I keep thinking when I do that she’ll…” Carre took a deep breath. “That she’ll start seeing this other girl. I can’t stand to think about her with someone else.”

The hurt in her eyes was so raw that all Tory wanted to do was hold her close and make all her pain go away. But she knew she couldn’t. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think the two of you can get through this.”

Reese found Tory curled up on the sofa in an old fatigue shirt of hers and a pair of shorts, reading.

“Hi, love,” she said as she carried two bags of groceries through to the kitchen. “Are Bri and Caroline still here?”

“No,” Tory said with a sigh as she tossed the magazine she had been pretending to read onto the end table. “They’re having problems.”

“I gathered that from what Caroline said this morning.” Reese rubbed her cheek absently across the top of Tory’s head, then kissed the fine wisps of hair at her temple. “She’s really upset about Bri leaving school, I guess.”

“Apparently she’s a lot more upset about Bri fooling around with some other girl.”