Molly Fitz: Raccoon Racketeer

I raced up to the library where I kept my important papers stashed in a hanging file system in the bottom drawer of my desk. There wasn’t too much I kept, but it did have a copy of Octo-Cat’s trust fund paperwork, my various associate degree certificates, a copy of our mortgage, that kind of thing. Except…

Everything was gone.

I pulled the drawer completely off the track in case something had fallen behind, but not a single scrap of paper was to be found.

“Nan!” I called at the top of my lungs as I sank the rest of the way to the ground, needing to feel something solid beneath me as panic rushed through my veins. Even though I was sitting on the hardwood floor in front of the desk, my legs still felt weak, my knees shaky. Could all my most important documents really have vanished without a trace?

My grandmother appeared a short while later. “Yes, dear?”

I twisted around to look her in the eye. “Have you been Marie Kondo-ing my things, too?”

She lifted a hand to her chest. “Of course not. I wouldn’t throw your things out without your okay first. Each person needs to go through the process herself. My joy sparklers might not match your joy sparklers. In fact, they probably don’t.”

I lifted up the empty drawer and bit my lip to keep from crying.

“Well, now that’s a pickle.” She crossed the room and took the drawer from me, giving it a good firm shake.

“Oh, dear,” she said when nothing fell from inside. “I’ll go call Charles.”

I kept sitting there even as I heard footsteps carry down the hall. Although there wasn’t really anything my boyfriend could do in this situation, it still felt good knowing he’d be here soon.

While I was the best at piecing together clues and evidence, he always had a way of knowing what to do in tough situations like this.

“What’s the matter with you?” Octo-Cat asked with twitching whiskers. I hadn’t even noticed him enter the room.

“All of my important papers are gone,” I said with a sniff.

“What is it with you and papers going missing?” he asked with a laugh, but then sobered when he noticed I was still quite upset.

“The flyers weren’t my fault,” I reminded him. “And neither is this.”

“No,” he said with a yawn. Good to see he found my turmoil to be so relaxing. When he’d finished his enormous yawn, he added, “The first set of papers were Pringle’s fault. Do you think he took these, too?”

I perked up at this suggestion. “Pringle? Hmm. But he’s not allowed in the house.”

Octo-Cat laughed sarcastically. “Do you really think that stops him?”

“That’s it.” I pushed up and onto my feet, drawing strength from my newfound anger. “I’m calling animal control.”

How could one little raccoon cause so much damage to my business and personal life? And why wouldn’t he just leave me and my things alone?

“Oh, goodie!” Octo-Cat trilled as he trotted down the stairs behind me. “Can I be there when they come? I can’t wait to see the look on his face, when—”

He stopped abruptly when a booming knock sounded on our front door. It seemed far too soon for Charles to have arrived after Nan’s call, but then who…?

Nan ran out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel that she carried with her. “Yes,” she called. “Who is it?”

“It’s Julie!” the mail lady answered, her voice dripping with distress. “Can I come in?”

Chapter Six

Julie, Nan, and I stood in the foyer with Paisley at our heels and Octo-Cat watching from what he deemed a safe distance part-way up the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as Julie’s shoulders shook from crying.

Nan put an arm around the mail lady’s shoulders and offered a tissue she’d pulled from her front pocket.

“I was hardly here for ten minutes,” Julie reminded us. “And yet someone ransacked my truck. I didn’t notice until I’d already driven all the way home, and I still can’t believe it.”

“What’s missing?” I asked, fearing what her answer might be.

“Some packages that I was unable to deliver since I had no one to sign for them.” Her expression grew dark, angry. “I’m already in just about as much trouble as I can get at work. What I’m really upset about is that my lucky angel was taken, too.”

“Doesn’t sound very lucky anymore,” Octo-Cat quipped, then laughed at his own joke, his striped, furry head tilting from side to side.

“Your lucky angel?” I asked, dread rising in my chest. I could always print more flyers or order new copies of my paperwork. A lucky angel sounded like it might be irreplaceable.

“Oh, it’s not an expensive thing, but it was real special to me. It was the first Mother’s Day gift my girls ever bought for me with their own money. It’s mostly glass with a bit of gold-like plating along the edges. I keep it in the glove compartment since it’s fragile. That way, it’s always close enough to keep me company as I go about my day.”

“How’d you find out it was missing?” I asked, resisting the urge to start biting at my fingernails from the mounting anxiety.

Julie got a far-off look in her eyes and she swayed slightly from side to side as if in a dream. “My youngest called to update me on college life. That’s why I was in such a rush to say goodbye after our visit, because I knew she’d be calling to check in after the shift at her part-time job ended tonight. I like to hold onto the angel while I talk with either of my girls. It’s the next best thing to being able to hug them in my arms.”

“But when you went to get it, it wasn’t there,” I finished for her with a sigh.

She nodded and pointed at me. “Exactly.”

“But you knew it was still in your truck before you came to visit us?” This whole thing was giving me a headache. It had to have been Pringle, which meant his kleptomania had reached alarmingly dangerous heights.

“Of course, it was!” Julie exploded. Suddenly, it didn’t feel as if we were allies trying to solve this thing together. “Like I said, it’s my lucky charm, and I figured I’d need a good bit of luck heading into our meeting, hoping you’d agree to help me for free and all.” She dropped her voice to a husky whisper and glanced hesitantly toward Nan. “D-d-d-did you take my angel, Dorothy?”

Oh, no. It was one thing to blame me, but to even think Nan could… Impossible! Of course, I was quick to defend my grandmother. “No way! You and I both know she didn’t, but I have a pretty good idea who did.”

“Let me guess…” Octo-Cat descended the steps slowly and plopped himself between Julie and me. “A certain, up-to-no-good-ever raccoon?”

Paisley began to bark furiously at this. “Big, bad raccoon!” she cried. “He hurt Mommy’s friend!”

Julie glanced nervously toward the upset little dog and stepped closer to the door.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby,” Nan said, lifting Paisley into her arms and giving her a big, wet kiss.

I kept my attention focused squarely on Julie as I explained, “There’s a raccoon with sticky fingers that lives under our front porch. And, well, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if he’s the one who snuck into your truck and stole your angel. The packages, too.”

“Angie’s also had some things go missing recently,” Nan explained, “and we’ve already caught him red-handed once.”

Julie’s head whipped back at this news as if she’d just received a blow right to her face. “A raccoon is taking your things? You know this for sure, and yet you haven’t exterminated him yet?”

How could I explain that killing the raccoon would be akin to murdering a human in my book? No matter how much he got on my nerves, I would never hurt him to make my life run a little smoother.