Penelope shook her head slightly, unable even to fathom it. Colin would never lose his temper. At least not in front of her. He’d have to be really, truly—no, profoundly —upset to lose his temper. And that kind of fury could only be sparked by someone you really, truly, profoundly cared about.
Colin liked her well enough—maybe even better than he liked most people—but he didn’t care . Not that way.
“Perhaps we should just agree to disagree,” she finally said.
“On what?”
“Er . . .” She couldn’t remember. “Er, on what a spinster may or may not do?”
He seemed amused by her hesitation. “That would probably require that I defer to my younger sister’s judgment in some capacity, which would be, as I’m sure you can imagine, very difficult for me.”
“But you don’t mind deferring to my judgment?”
His smile was lazy and wicked. “Not if you promise not to tell another living soul.”
He didn’t mean it, of course. And she knew he knew she knew he didn’t mean it. But that was his way. Humor and a smile could smooth any path. And blast him, it worked, because she heard herself sighing and felt herself smiling, and before she knew it she was saying, “Enough! Let us be on our way to your mother’s.”
Colin grinned. “Do you think she’ll have biscuits?”
Penelope rolled her eyes. “I know she’ll have biscuits.”
“Good,” he said, taking off at a lope and half dragging her with him. “I do love my family, but I really just go for the food.”
Chapter 4
It is difficult to imagine that there is any news from the Bridgerton ball other than Lady Danbury’s determination to discern the identity of This Author, but the following items should be duly noted:
Mr. Geoffrey Albansdale was seen dancing with Miss Felicity Featherington .
Miss Felicity Featherington was also seen dancing with Mr. Lucas Hotchkiss .
Mr. Lucas Hotchkiss was also seen dancing with Miss Hyacinth Bridgerton .
Miss Hyacinth Bridgerton was also seen dancing with Viscount Burwick .
Viscount Burwick was also seen dancing with Miss Jane Hotchkiss .
Miss Jane Hotchkiss was also seen dancing with Mr. Colin Bridgerton .
Mr. Colin Bridgerton was also seen dancing with Miss Penelope Featherington .
And to round out this incestuous little ring-around-the-rosy, Miss Penelope Featherington was seen speaking with Mr. Geoffrey Albansdale. (It would have been too perfect if she’d actually danced with him, don’t you agree, Dear Reader?)
LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS , 12 APRIL 1824
W hen Penelope and Colin entered the drawing room, Eloise and Hyacinth were already sipping tea, along with both of the Ladies Bridgerton. Violet, the dowager, was seated in front of a tea service, and Kate, her daughter-in-law and the wife of Anthony, the current viscount, was attempting, without much success, to control her two-year-old daughter Charlotte.
“Look who I bumped into in Berkeley Square,” Colin said.
“Penelope,” Lady Bridgerton said with a warm smile, “do sit down. The tea is still nice and hot, and Cook made her famous butter biscuits.”
Colin made a beeline for the food, barely pausing to acknowledge his sisters.
Penelope followed Lady Bridgerton’s wave to a nearby chair and took a seat.
“Biscuits are good,” Hyacinth said, thrusting a plate in her direction.
“Hyacinth,” Lady Bridgerton said in a vaguely disapproving voice, “do try to speak in complete sentences.”
Hyacinth looked at her mother with a surprised expression. “Biscuits. Are. Good.” She cocked her head to the side. “Noun. Verb. Adjective.”
“Hyacinth.”
Penelope could see that Lady Bridgerton was trying to look stern as she scolded her daughter, but she wasn’t quite succeeding.
“Noun. Verb. Adjective,” Colin said, wiping a crumb from his grinning face. “Sentence. Is. Correct.”
“If you’re barely literate,” Kate retorted, reaching for a biscuit. “These are good,” she said to Penelope, a sheepish smile crossing her face. “This one’s my fourth.”
“I love you, Colin,” Hyacinth said, ignoring Kate completely.
“Of course you do,” he murmured.
“I myself,” Eloise said archly, “prefer to place articles before my nouns in my own writings.”
Hyacinth snorted. “Your writings ?” she echoed.
“I write many letters,” Eloise said with a sniff. “And I keep a journal, which I assure you is a very beneficial habit.”
“It does keep one disciplined,” Penelope put in, taking her cup and saucer from Lady Bridgerton’s outstretched hands.
“Do you keep a journal?” Kate asked, not really looking at her, since she had just jumped up from her chair to grasp her daughter before the two-year-old climbed on a side table.
“I’m afraid not,” Penelope said with a shake of her head. “It requires far too much discipline for me.”
“I don’t think it is always necessary to put an article before a noun,” Hyacinth persisted, completely unable, as always, to let her side of the argument go.
Unfortunately for the rest of the assemblage, Eloise was equally tenacious. “You may leave off the article if you are referring to your noun in a general sense,” she said, pursing her lips in a rather supercilious manner, “but in this case, as you were referring to specific biscuits . . .”
Penelope wasn’t positive, but she thought she heard Lady Bridgerton groan.
“. . . then specifically,” Eloise said with an arch of her brows, “you are incorrect.”
Hyacinth turned to Penelope. “I am positive she did not use specifically correctly in that last sentence.”
Penelope reached for another butter biscuit. “I refuse to enter the conversation.”
“Coward,” Colin murmured.
“No, just hungry.” Penelope turned to Kate. “These are good.”
Kate nodded her agreement. “I have heard rumors,” she said to Penelope, “that your sister may become betrothed.”
Penelope blinked in surprise. She hadn’t thought that Felicity’s connection to Mr. Albansdale was public knowledge. “Er, where have you heard rumors?”
“Eloise, of course,” Kate said matter-of-factly. “She always knows everything.”
“And what I don’t know,” Eloise said with an easy grin, “Hyacinth usually does. It’s very convenient.”
“Are you certain that neither one of you is Lady Whistledown?” Colin joked.
“Colin!” Lady Bridgerton exclaimed. “How could you even think such a thing?”
He shrugged. “They’re certainly both smart enough to carry off such a feat.”
Eloise and Hyacinth beamed.
Even Lady Bridgerton couldn’t quite dismiss the compliment. “Yes, well,” she hemmed, “Hyacinth is much too young, and Eloise . . .” She looked over at Eloise, who was watching her with a most amused expression. “Well, Eloise is not Lady Whistledown. I’m sure of it.”
Eloise looked at Colin. “I’m not Lady Whistledown.”
“That’s too bad,” he replied. “You’d be filthy rich by now, I imagine.”
“You know,” Penelope said thoughtfully, “that might be a good way to discern her identity.”
Five pairs of eyes turned in her direction.
“She has to be someone who has more money than she ought to have,” Penelope explained.
“A good point,” Hyacinth said, “except that I haven’t a clue how much money people ought to have.”
“Neither do I, of course,” Penelope replied. “But most of the time one has a general idea.” At Hyacinth’s blank stare, she added, “For example, if I suddenly went out and bought myself a diamond parure, that would be very suspect.”
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