Кадзуо Исигуро - Klara and the Sun

‘That’s good. That’s very good. But now I want you to move. Do something. Don’t stop being Josie. Let me see you move a little.’

I smiled in the way Josie would, settling into a slouching, informal posture.

‘That’s good. Now say something. Let me hear you speak.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m not sure…’

‘No. That’s Klara. I want Josie.’

‘Hi, Mom. Josie here.’

‘Good. More. Come on.’

‘Hi, Mom. Nothing to worry about, right? I got here and I’m fine.’

The Mother leaned even further across the table, and I could see joy, fear, sadness, laughter in the boxes. Because everything else had gone silent, I could hear her repeating under her breath: ‘That’s good, that’s good, that’s good.’

‘I told you I’d be fine,’ I said. ‘Melania was right. Nothing wrong with me. A little tired, that’s all.’

‘I’m sorry, Josie,’ the Mother said. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t bring you here today.’

‘That’s okay. I know you were worried for me. I’m okay.’

‘I wish you were here. But you’re not. I wish I could stop you getting sick.’

‘Don’t worry, Mom. I’m going to be fine.’

‘How can you say that? What do you know about it? You’re just a kid. A kid who loves life and believes everything can be fixed. What do you know about it?’

‘It’s okay, Mom, don’t worry. I’ll get well soon. I know how it’ll happen too.’

‘What? What are you saying? You think you know more than the doctors? More than I do? Your sister made promises too. But she couldn’t keep them. Don’t you do the same.’

‘But Mom. Sal was sick with something different. I’m going to get well.’

‘Okay, Josie. So tell me how you’ll get well.’

‘There’s special help coming. Something no one’s thought of yet. Then I’ll be well again.’

‘What is this? Who’s this talking?’

Now, in box after box, I could see the cheekbones of the Mother’s face very pronounced beneath her skin.

‘Really, Mom. I’m going to be fine.’

‘That’s enough. Enough!’

The Mother stood up and walked away. I could then see the waterfall again, and its noise – as well as that of the people behind me – returned louder than ever.

The Mother stopped near the wooden rail marking where the ground finished and the waterfall began. I could see the mist hanging before her and I thought she would become wet in moments, but she continued standing with her back to me. Then at last she turned and waved.

‘Klara. Come on over here. Come and take a look.’

I got up from the bench and went to her. She’d called me ‘Klara’ so I knew I shouldn’t attempt any more to imitate Josie. She gestured for me to come closer still.

‘See, take a look. You’ve never seen a waterfall before. So take a look. What do you think?’

‘It’s wonderful. Much more impressive than in the magazine.’

‘Something special, right? I’m glad you’re seeing it. Now let’s get back. I’m concerned about Josie.’

The Mother didn’t speak for the entire way back down to the car. She walked quickly, always at least four paces ahead, and I had to take care not to make errors on the steep downhill path. As we passed the spot where we’d seen the bull, I looked over the field right into the distance, but the terrible creature was now nowhere to be seen, and I wondered if it had been taken back down into the ground.

—

When we reached the car, I began to get into my usual seat, but the Mother said:

‘Travel in the front. You’ll see better.’

So I got in beside her, and it was like the difference between mid-store and the window. We descended across the fields, the Sun visible between clouds, and I observed how the tall trees on the horizon gathered in tight groups of seven or eight, even though all around them there was emptiness. The car followed a long thin line across the land, and I saw that what at first had appeared to be part of a distant field’s pattern was in fact sheep. We passed one field containing more than forty such creatures, and although we were moving very fast, I was able to see that each one of them was filled with kindness – the exact opposite of the terrible bull from earlier. My gaze fell in particular on four sheep that looked even more gentle than the others. They’d arranged themselves on the grass in a neat row, one after the other, as though proceeding on a journey. But I could tell, even though we were passing quickly, that they were in fact standing quite still, aside from the small movements of their mouths as they ate the grass.

‘I’m grateful to you, Klara. Having you with me made it not so bad.’

‘I’m so glad.’

‘Maybe sometimes we’ll do the same again. If Josie’s too sick to come out.’

When I said nothing, she said: ‘You don’t mind, do you, Klara? If we do something like this again?’

‘No, not at all. If Josie isn’t able to come.’

‘You know what? I think it’s best we say nothing to Josie about this. Nothing about what you were doing up there. Imitating her. She might take it the wrong way.’ Then after another moment, she asked: ‘So we’re agreed? Nothing to Josie about that.’

‘As you wish.’

I could now see the metal boxes village in the distance again, this time to our right. I thought she might say something more about it, or about the Father, but she continued to drive in silence, and then the metal boxes village had disappeared. Only then did she say, quite suddenly:

‘Kids can be hurtful sometimes. They believe if you happen to be an adult, nothing can possibly hurt you. Still, she’s grown up some since you’ve been around. She’s become more considerate.’

‘I’m glad.’

‘It’s been noticeable. She’s definitely more mindful of others these days.’

I could see a tree with a trunk that was in fact three thin trunks entwined together to look like a single one. I observed it carefully as we passed, turning in my seat to see it for longer.

‘What you were saying earlier,’ the Mother said. ‘About her getting well. Some special kind of help coming along. You were just talking, right?’

‘You must excuse me. I know that you, the doctor and Melania Housekeeper have all considered very carefully Josie’s condition. It’s very concerning. Even so, I’m hoping soon she’ll get better.’

‘Is that merely hoping? Or is this something more solid you’re expecting? Something the rest of us haven’t seen?’

‘I suppose…it’s merely a hope. But a real one. I believe Josie will soon become better.’

The Mother didn’t speak for several moments after that, her eyes staring through the windshield with an expression so distant I wondered if she could see the road before us. Then she said quietly:

‘You’re an intelligent AF. Maybe you can see things the rest of us can’t. Maybe you’re right to be hopeful. Maybe you’re right.’

—

When we got back to the house, Josie wasn’t in the kitchen or the Open Plan. The Mother and Melania Housekeeper stood in the doorway of the kitchen and talked in low voices, and I could tell Melania Housekeeper was reporting that Josie had been fine in our absence. The Mother kept nodding, then walked across the hall to the bottom of the stairs and called up to Josie. When Josie called back with a single ‘Okay’, the Mother remained not moving at the foot of the stairs for some time. Then she shrugged and went off towards the Open Plan. I was now alone in the hall, so went up the stairs to Josie.

She was sitting on the rug, her back against the bed, her knees drawn up to rest a sketchpad against them. She was concentrating on what she was drawing with her pencil and so didn’t look up when I greeted her. Scattered around her were several other sheets torn from the sketchpad, some abandoned after a few quick lines, others densely filled.