Кадзуо Исигуро - Klara and the Sun

‘Of course Klara can come. But you’ll have to get well or none of this works. You understand, Josie?’

‘I understand, Mom. I have to sleep some more now.’

—

She woke up just before lunch, and I was going to tell Melania Housekeeper as I’d been instructed to do, but Josie said tiredly:

‘Klara? Have you been here the whole time I’ve been sleeping?’

‘Of course.’

‘Did you hear what Mom was saying about us going to Morgan’s Falls?’

‘Yes. And I’m very much hoping we’ll be able to go. But your mother said we’d go only if you were well enough.’

‘I’ll be okay. If I wanted, I could go this afternoon. Just tired, that’s all.’

‘What is this Morgan’s Falls, Josie?’

‘Beautiful is what it is. You’ll think it’s amazing. I’ll show you pictures later.’

Josie remained tired for much of the day. But in the late afternoon, once I raised the bedroom blinds to let the Sun’s pattern fall over her, she became noticeably stronger. Melania Housekeeper came up to see her then, and said Josie could get dressed so long as she promised to spend the rest of the day quietly. That was how we came to still be in the bedroom as the evening approached, when Josie produced a cardboard box from under her bed.

‘I’ll show you,’ she said, and tipped the box out. Many print photos of varying dimensions tumbled out onto the rug, some face up, others down. I understood that these were favorite images from Josie’s past, kept near her bed so she could cheer herself up viewing them whenever she wanted. Many of the images were now overlapping, but I could see they were mostly of Josie when younger. Some photos showed her with the Mother, some with Melania Housekeeper, others with people I didn’t know. Josie continued spreading them across the rug, then picked one up and smiled.

‘Morgan’s Falls,’ she said. ‘This is where we’re going on Sunday. What do you think?’

She gave me the photo – I was by now kneeling beside her – and I saw a younger Josie sitting outdoors at a table made from rough wooden planks. Even the seating was planks, and sitting beside her was the Mother, less thin and with her hair cut shorter than now. I was interested to see a third figure at the table, a girl who I estimated as eleven years old, wearing a short jacket made of light cotton. Because the stranger girl was sitting with her back to the photographer, I couldn’t see her face. The Sun’s patterns were visible over them all, falling across the tabletop. Behind Josie and the Mother was a blurred black-and-white pattern. I inspected this carefully, then said:

‘This is a waterfall.’

‘Yup. You ever seen a waterfall, Klara?’

‘Yes. I saw one in a magazine at the store. And look! You’re eating, right in front of the waterfall.’

‘You can do that at Morgan’s Falls. Have lunch while the spray covers you. You’re eating your food then you realize your shirt’s soaked at the back.’

‘That can’t be good for you, Josie.’

‘It’s okay when it’s warm. But you’re right. On a chilly day, you have to sit further away. There’s plenty of seating though because people don’t know about Morgan’s Falls so much.’ She reached out a hand, and I returned the photo to her. She looked at it again and said, ‘Maybe it’s only me and Mom think it’s special. And that’s why it’s never crowded. But we always have a great day there.’

‘I do hope you’ll be strong enough this weekend.’

‘Sunday’s always the best day for Morgan’s Falls. There’s a good atmosphere on Sundays. It’s like the waterfall knows about it being a Day of Rest.’

‘Josie. Who is your companion in this photograph? The girl here with you and your mother?’

‘Oh…’ Her face became serious, then she said: ‘That’s Sal. My sister.’

She let the photo fall on top of the others, then began to pass both hands over the images, moving them around the rug. I saw images of children – in fields, in playgrounds, outside buildings.

‘Yeah, my sister,’ she said again after a long time.

‘And where is Sal now?’

‘Sal died.’

‘How very sad.’

Josie shrugged. ‘I don’t remember her much. I was small when it happened. It’s not like I miss her or anything.’

‘How sad. Do you know what happened?’

‘She got sick. Not the same sickness I have. Something much worse, and that’s why she died.’

I thought Josie was searching for another photo with her sister’s image, but she suddenly gathered the prints together and put them back into the cardboard box.

‘You’re so going to love it up there, Klara. Here’s you, only once been outside, then suddenly you’re up there !’

—

Josie became stronger each day, so that as the weekend approached there seemed no reason to suppose we wouldn’t be able to go to the waterfall. On the Friday evening, the Mother came home late – long after Josie had finished her supper – and called me into the kitchen. Josie had by then gone up to her room, and the kitchen was in near-darkness, with only the light from the hall to illuminate it. But the Mother seemed happy to stand there before the large windows, staring out into the night as she drank her wine. I stood near the refrigerator where I could hear its hum.

‘Klara,’ she said after a while. ‘Josie says you wish to come with us on Sunday. To Morgan’s Falls.’

‘If I wouldn’t be in the way, I’d very much like to come. I believe Josie also wishes me to come.’

‘She certainly does. Josie’s become very fond of you. And if I may say so, so have I.’

‘Thank you.’

‘To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure at first what I’d feel. Having you around, moving through the house all day. But Josie’s so much more calm, so much more cheerful since you got here.’

‘I’m so glad.’

‘You’re doing very well, Klara. I want you to know that.’

‘Thank you so much.’

‘You’ll be fine up at Morgan’s Falls. Plenty of kids take their AFs up there. Even so, it goes without saying. You’ll need to look out, both for yourself and for Josie. The terrain can be unpredictable. And Josie sometimes gets overexcited in places like that.’

‘I understand. I’ll be cautious.’

‘Klara, are you happy here?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Curious thing to ask an AF. In fact, I don’t even know if that question makes sense. Do you miss that store?’

She drank more wine and stepped towards me so I could see one side of her face in the light from the hall, though the other side, including most of her nose, stayed in shadow. The one eye I could see looked tired.

‘I sometimes think about the store,’ I said. ‘The view from the window. The other AFs. But not often. I’m very pleased to be here.’

The Mother looked at me for a moment. Then she said: ‘It must be great. Not to miss things. Not to long to get back to something. Not to be looking back all the time. Everything must be so much more…’ She paused, then said: ‘Okay, Klara. So you’re with us Sunday. But remember what I said. We don’t want accidents up there.’

—

There must have been signals all along, because although what happened that Sunday morning made me feel sadness later, and reminded me again how much I had still to learn, it didn’t come as a true surprise.

By the Friday, Josie was confident she’d be well enough for the expedition and spent many moments trying on different outfits, and studying herself in the long mirror inside the wardrobe. Occasionally she’d ask me what I thought, and I’d smile and be as encouraging as I could. But I must even then have been aware of the signals because when I praised her appearance, I was always careful to hold something back.