Ann Martin - Baby-Sitters Club 041

But afterward, Logan perked up a little. He checked his watch, rubbed his hands together, and announced, "All right! Time to go see Halloween, Part Three." "Halloween?" "Yeah. I know it's been out awhile, but I haven't seen it, and it's playing right around the corner. I hope you haven't seen it, Mary Anne." "No, I haven't. ... I thought we were going to see The Music Man. It's playing at the oldies theater." "The Music Man is a kids' movie," Logan informed me.

"But the Halloween movies are so gross." "So what do you want to do?" "I - I guess I want to go home," I replied.

Logan glared at me. Then he stood up and huffed off to the pay phone to call his parents and ask one of them to pick us up.

So we didn't see a movie, and that was why I arrived home at ten to nine instead of at eleven. That was also why I wasn't in a particularly good mood, and possibly why I was tired.

Logan was wearing me out.

Dad was the only one who answered when I announced that I had returned. "Mary Anne? Is that you? You're home early. Come and talk to me. I'm in the den." I entered the den and flopped into an easy chair. "Where are Sharon and Dawn?" I asked. "Did they go out?" "They just ran to the grocery. They'll be back soon. Actually I'm glad you and I have a few moments alone together. I want to talk to you." Ordinarily those awful words ("I want to talk to you") would have set me on edge right away. They never mean anything good. But my mind was still on my "date" with Logan. Nothing could be worse than this evening, I thought.

So I said simply, "Okay." Dad cleared his throat. (He's not good at having talks.) "Well," he began, "I think you and Logan are getting - I mean, that you and Logan are spending too much time together." I nodded.

"I'm not worried about you. I'm just concerned because you're not around very often, and ... I miss you." (I knew those words were difficult for Dad to say.) "Also, you don't seem terribly happy lately. And you got a C on your last English test. That's not like you." "I know," I said.

"'So I think that you and Logan should cut back on the amount of time you spend together. I know this is hard for you to hear, but this is the way it's going to be. If necessary, we can decide on exactly how many hours you and Logan may spend together every week." "No," I said. "We don't need to do that. I have been seeing too much of Logan. I'm tired. And I can't believe I got a C on that test. You're right, Dad." My father looked so taken aback that I laughed.

"I'm right?! When are parents ever right?" Dad teased me.

"Hardly ever," I replied. "This is just one of those rare times." It was Dad's turn to laugh.

"I'll call Logan tonight and talk to him," I told Dad. "I - " But we heard the back door open then. Sharon and Dawn had come home. Our talk was over. I think Dad and I both felt relieved.

"Hey," said Dawn when she saw me. "You're home early. What happened?" "Let's go upstairs and talk," I replied. (I caught Dad and Sharon raising their eyebrows at each other.) Dawn followed me into my bedroom and sat in the armchair while I lay on my stomach on the bed.

"So what happened?" Dawn asked again.

"The date was a flop," I said simply.

Dawn frowned.

I told her about ordering dinner and about the movie and everything. Then I went on. "When I came home, Dad wanted to have a talk with me." "Oh," said Dawn. "Did Mom and I interrupt something?" "Not really," I replied. "We were about finished." "What did your dad want to talk to you about?" "Logan and me. He thinks we're spending too much time together." "Uh-oh. What's he going to do?" "Nothing. I agreed with him." "You did?" "Yeah. Something's wrong between Logan and me. I'm . . . just not always happy when I'm with him. I feel like he's taking over my life. I feel like I'm not Mary Anne anymore. I'm not whole. Logan took part of me." "Did he take part of you, or did you let him take part of you?" Dawn asked wisely.

She is so smart.

"I guess I let him," I admitted. "I could have stood up for myself, but I didn't. I mean, I usually don't. Not really." "So what are you going to do about this?" My answer was ready. "I'm going to call Logan - now - and tell him we have to cool things for awhile. I need the time apart from him to think. Then when we've gotten ourselves together, we can pick up our relationship again. It will be hard to do, but I think it will be good for us." "Whoa," said Dawn. "I never thought I'd hear you say that. Somehow I pictured you and Logan going steady through high school, then college, and finally getting married. After that, you'd have two children. Well, two or three. And - " "Dawn!" I exclaimed. "Stop! First of all, I just want some time apart, not a break-up.

Second, I'm only thirteen. And Logan is the first boy I've ever been serious about. Did you really think we were going to get married?" "Yes. And I'd be your maid of honor . . . wouldn't I?" "I don't know. Yes. I mean, I hadn't exactly planned our wedding. I was planning on graduating from eighth grade first." Dawn smiled. Then she stood up. "I'll leave you alone so you can call Logan," she said. "Use the phone in Mom and your father's room. For privacy. I'll be in my bedroom if you need me." "Okay." I felt shaky. Dawn left, and I went into Dad and Sharon's room. I closed the door. Right away I thought, I could stop now if I wanted to. I don't have to call Logan.

But I called him anyway. Without even hesitating. I just picked up the receiver and punched the buttons.

Logan answered the phone. "Hi!" he said, when he heard my voice. He probably thought I was calling to apologize. He sounded as if he would accept my apology.

"Logan," I began, "this isn't going to be easy for me to say, but I'm calling - " "To apologize, right?" "Well, not really," I told him. "I'm calling because I think we need to cool our relationship a little. I think - " Logan interrupted me again. "Cool our relationship? Why?" "I'm going to tell you, if you'll, um, if you'll just let me talk." "All right, all right." "I think we've been seeing too much of each other," I said. "I feel like you're - you're overtaking my life. You plan everything for us. .You always want to be with me - and I do like being with you - but, I don't know. I guess I feel like you don't understand me very well anymore. ..." I trailed off.

There was a pause. Then Logan said, "Okay," in an odd-sounding voice.

"Let's try cooling things for a few weeks," I went on, my voice beginning to quiver. (I just could not believe what I was doing.) "Then when we've had some time apart, we'll pick things up again." "Okay." "Well . . . good-bye." "Good-bye. Good night," said Logan.

I hung up the phone. Then I burst into tears.

I cried for a long time.

Chapter 7.

Clangs, bangs, shouts.

It was Monday. Another week at Stoneybrook Middle School was beginning. I wondered what would happen that day. It was the first time I'd have the chance to see Logan since I'd called him and told him we needed to cool our relationship.

Would he respect what I'd said? Or would he be waiting at my locker like he usually was, but this time full of apologies and questions?

I approached my locker hesitantly.

"Mary Anne?" asked Dawn, who was walking with me. "Are you okay? You look funny. Kind of faraway." "I was thinking about - " And at that moment I saw him.

Logan.

He was striding down the hall toward me. My locker was in between us. So he was going to wait for me after all.

Logan and I drew closer and closer and . . .

Logan walked right by Dawn and me. He didn't smile or say hello. He didn't even look at us. That was painful. But I told myself that what I was doing was meant to save our relationship.

"Mary Anne? Are you okay?" Dawn asked again.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Logan just ignored us." "I know. I guess I told him to." Dawn gave me a rueful smile, then left.