Ann Martin - Dawn's Big Date

Mary Anne took two sheets of paper and two pencils from the kitchen junk drawer and

handed one of each to me. We both began writing lists of supplies we'd need for the party.

"I talked toLogan today," said Mary Anne, as she wrote.

"That's nice," I commented, not even looking up from my writing. This wasn't exactly earthshaking news. Mary Anne talks toLogan every day.Logan is her steady boyfriend. (From the way I've described Mary Anne, it might seem strange that she has a boyfriend. I should explain that although Mary Anne is still shy, she no longer wears jumpers and pigtails. Richard has eased up on the fashion rules. Mary Anne has grown a few inches, too. She doesn't look like a little kid anymore.) Anyhow, Logan and Mary Anne are very close.

"Lewis called him last night. He's definitely coming in mid-January, but he's not sure of the exact date yet," she continued. "It's too bad he couldn't come while we're off from school. But his school is on a different schedule, so he didn't have any choice. I'm sure we'll have fun, though . . ."

Mary Anne was talking, but I was no longer listening. I was too busy worrying about Lewis.

Lewis Bruno isLogan 's cousin. He lives inLouisville,Kentucky . That's whereLogan is

from originally. Awhile ago, Lewis and I started writing to each other. Mary Anne and Logan set it up. They were sure Lewis and I would get along great. They even sent him my picture (without asking me). Then Lewis sent me a picture of himself. He's super cute. And, from his letters, I could tell he was really nice. Every time one of his letters appeared in the mailbox I'd feel excited and happy. He always had something funny or interesting to say.

So, what was the problem? I was the problem. Even though Lewis had seen my picture, and even though he seemed to enjoy my letters, I was afraid he wouldn't like me. I know this sounds like I'm totally insecure, but I'm not. People are always saying what an individual I am. You have to be at least somewhat secure to be an individual.

It was just that no boy had ever liked me. Not the wayLogan liked Mary Anne. (This one time, I thought a guy named Travis was interested in me. But he wasn't. He was just leading me on, probably because he could tell I had a major crush on him.)

Other girls are always saying I should be a model or an actress. They say, "Oh, I wish I had your silky hair." Or, "I'd die to have your skin." (They might have good hair and skin if they didn't eat so much junk food.) Enough people have told me I'm pretty, so I should

believe it. Personally, though, I can't see it. To me, I just look like me. Not pretty, not ugly — just me.

Obviously, boys couldn't see it, either. They liked me well enough to borrow my notebook or to goof around with. But when it came to really liking me, forget it.

"Dawn! You're not writing!" said Mary Anne, interrupting my thoughts. "You weren't listening to me, either. What are you thinking about?"

"Lewis," I admitted. "Mary Anne, what if he hates me?"

"Hates you!" gasped Mary Anne. "That's crazy. I don't know anybody who hates you."

"You know what I mean, though. What if he's really disappointed when he meets me? He seems so nice. I want him to think I'm, you know, attractive."

"Don't worry," Mary Anne said, putting her hand on my arm. "He's already seen your picture."

"I suppose," I admitted.

"Look, you guys must have exchanged at least a zillion letters so far," continued Mary Anne. "He knows plenty about you. It hasn't stopped him from writing."

Mary Anne is great to talk to, as I said before. For the moment, I felt less worried. "I'm

going to go upstairs and make it a zillion and one letters," I said.

"What about your list?" asked Mary Anne.

"I know what I need," I assured her.

"I do, too," Mary Anne said, wrinkling her nose. "Honey, nuts, soybeans, and two tons of tofu."

"Three tons," I teased, as I headed out of the kitchen.

Upstairs I opened a new box of writing paper. Each sheet had a tiny silver unicorn in the righthand corner. Jeff had bought it for me inCalifornia . Here's what I wrote:

eJt/si-

you'// te fere, fn Janu nghi-! &ei- r