Ann Martin - Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn

So when her mother and Watson came home later with their birdbath, she and Karen told them about the pageant.

"Please can I be in it?" Karen pleaded. "Please, please, please? With a cherry on top?"

"Oh, honey," said Kristy's mother. She glanced at Watson. "I hate the idea of beauty pageants. Won't you be disappointed if you don't win?" she asked Karen.

"With a cherry and whipped cream and nuts

on top?" was Karen's reply. "I'll get to sing and everyone will watch me."

Watson shrugged. "If that's what she wants, I don't see what harm could come from entering her in the contest. I'll have to check with her mother first, though. And, Kristy, are you prepared to take the responsibility of getting Karen ready for the pageant?"

"Oh, sure," replied Kristy, thinking that (as far as she was concerned) that was half the point.

So Watson called his ex-wife and they talked things over. They decided Karen could enter the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant.

Kristy and Karen were both thrilled.

When I found out, I was nervous. I felt as if suddenly the contest had become Claire, Margo, and me against Kristy and Karen.

Chapter 5.

"I'll clear the table," said Jeff.

It was dinnertime, and Jeff had been unusually helpful ever since Mom had said she'd see if he could go back toCalifornia after all. Helpful and pleasant.

"That's okay. It's my turn tonight," I replied, jumping up.

"No, no. I'll do it." Jeff was already on his feet.

I glanced at Mom, who was still picking at her eggplant. She hadn't eaten much that night, although she'd seemed to be in a good mood. She'd told us all about a baby shower that had been held that day at the company where she works. One of Mom's friends was going to have a baby in a few weeks.

"It was fun," she'd said, "but by the time it was over, I thought if I heard one more person say, 'Oh, isn't that cute?' I'd get sick. That's what everyone kept saying. Each time Kelly

opened a present, we all said, 'Oh, isn't that cute?' Even 7 did. Even when she opened the gift 7 gave her!"

Jeff and I had laughed.

Now I watched Mom poke at her food.

"You all finished?" asked Jeff. He was hovering at Mom's elbow. The rest of the table had been cleared.

Mom put her fork down. "Yup. All done. The eggplant wasn't very good, was it?" she asked.

"It was fine," Jeff and I replied together.

"Thank you for being such polite children," said Mom with a smile.

"Hey, am I completely off the hook tonight?" I asked hopefully. "If you don't need me in the kitchen, then I'll go start my homework."

"I don't need you in the kitchen," Mom answered, "but I need you in the living room. Jeff, too. I want to talk to you."

Jeff and I glanced at each other curiously. "Right now?" I asked.

Mom looked around the kitchen. She sighed. "Sure. Right now. This mess can wait, I suppose."

Jeff and I followed Mom into the living room. She indicated that we should sit on the couch.

We sat.

Mom sat in a chair facing us.

She smoothed her hair back from her face. "Well," she began, rubbing her hands together nervously, "I don't know how to say this except just to say it. Jeff, we've worked everything out. You may go back toCalifornia and try living with your father for six months."

Jeff was so stunned that he couldn't even answer, but I could see excitement written all over his face. There was no way he could hide it.

And how did I feel? Shocked, that's how.

"Mom, you didn't!" I exclaimed.

"Didn't what?"

"Go through with it."

"Honey, you knew I was going to. Or that I was going to try to, anyway."

"When do I leave?" Jeff wanted to know.

"Well, not for a little while. But as soon as all the arrangements have been made. There's still a lot to do. I mean, aside from packing, there are papers to be drawn up and signed, I've got to send your school and medical records back toCalifornia , your dad has to find a housekeeper, and he'll have to re-enroll you atVista ." (Vistawas the school Jeff and I had gone to inCalifornia .)

"How long will all that take?" Jeff said.

"A couple of weeks, I guess."

"Only two weeks? All right!" Jeff's excitement was growing. He wouldn't be able to contain it much longer.

I understood how he was feeling. But I wasn't feeling anything at all myself. I was numb. Once, I had an infected finger. A splinter had gone in and I couldn't get it out. My father said he would try to get it out for me. Before he started "operating" he held an ice cube on my finger to numb it. That's how I felt now. As if someone had applied a giant ice cube to my body. And to my brain, as well.

"I can't believe you're letting him go," I said harshly to Mom.

"I don't think I have much choice," she said.

"Yes, you do. People always have choices. And you're making this one."

"Okay," agreed Mom. "Maybe you're right. But I think it's the best choice."

"How can it be the best choice when it hurts so much?"

Jeff was looking back and forth from Mom to me as we spoke. He looked like he was watching a game of Ping-Pong.

"Right choices aren't necessarily easy ones," Mom countered.

"They should be," I said crossly.

"I'm sorry, honey."

I paused.

Jeff looked at me. "Your turn," he said. He smiled, but I didn't smile back. Nevertheless, Jeff couldn't contain himself anymore. He leaped off the couch. He kissed my mother. He went jumping around the room. "All right! All right!" he kept shrieking. "Thanks, Mom! Just think - no more Ms. Besser, no more Jerry Haney, no more fights or trouble or homesickness."

"Thanks a lot," I said to him.

"What do you mean?"

"You won't be homesick for us? You mean that when you're inCalifornia you won't miss us anymore? That's nice, Jeff. That's real nice. You are so, so thoughtful." I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"Aw, come on, Dawn. Can't you be happy for me?"

"No!"

"Dawn, try to understand - " my mom began, but I cut her off.

"I understand plenty. Jeff can't wait to get out of here. He can't wait to leave us behind -"

"It's not that," Jeff broke in. "That's not true at all. It's just that nothing's working out. I don't belong here."

"You don't belong with your own mother and sister?" I asked incredulously.

"I belong with Dad, too," he replied. Then he grinned. "I gotta call the Pike triplets. They won't believe this. And then, Mom, can I call Jason?" (Jason is one of Jeff sCalifornia friends.)

"Sure," replied Mom.

I threw myself against the cushions of the couch and sulked. I felt guilty. I felt guilty because there I was, making a fuss over Jeff's leaving, when I wouldn't have minded going right along with him. He wasn't the only one who missed Dad. I did, too. And I missed my friend Sunny, and I missed the kids I used to baby-sit for. Face it. I wanted to go back toCalifornia , too. But I wouldn't leave Mom. No way. We were much too close for that. Besides, I liked Stoneybrook, too. Even in the middle of the freezing cold, snowy, icy winter, I liked Stoneybrook. What I wished was that we hadn't moved at all. Then I wouldn't feel so confused.

"Dawn?" said Mom gently.

"Yeah?"

"I know you're upset. This must be tough on you. It's more than just the fact that Jeff's leaving, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I missCalifornia , too - Oh, but I want to stay here," I assured her. "But I do miss Dad and Sunny and good oldVista . . . .

Mom, don't you feel hurt that Jeff is so excited about leaving us?"

"I don't think he's so much excited about leaving us as he is about getting back toCalifornia . He's relieved to be leavingConnecticut behind. That's not quite the same as wanting to leave us."

"I guess not."

Mom sat down next to me and pulled me to her. She stroked my hair. "I've told you this before, sweetie. Jeff will miss us. Once he's back inCalifornia he'll miss us. And he'll want to visit us. But I don't think he'll want to live with us. His experience here has not been good. And that wasn't our fault and we can't change what's happened."