Ann Martin - Mary Anne And Camp

I hoped, by the end of Thursday, that that saying included circuses. Because the Camp BSC circus rehearsal wasn't just a disaster, it was a mega-disaster.

Maybe we should have seen it coming. But with so many kids doing so many different things, we just weren't prepared for the fact that the kids who'd been to the "real" circus camp weren't prepared themselves.

During most of the rehearsals, they'd been standing around watching, not practicing. Even the "real" animal act, involving Carrot, Shannon, Pow, and Noodle had, well, gone to the dogs.

Things started off innocently enough. Kristy had announced the dress rehearsal the day before. So Vanessa came prepared in her ring-

master's costume. She wore white jeans tucked into black rain boots, an old red jacket of her mother's with the sleeves rolled up and a white shirt she'd made with Claudia's help that said Ringmaster in sequined script across the chest. She also wore a "top hat" fashioned from painted black cardboard. Vanessa made a great introduction, calling the circus ring a "big top" and only lapsing into poetry occasionally (for instance, when she concluded her speech with,- "No matter how things go, I know that you will like our show!").

We all applauded vigorously, and then the first act began. Nicky and Marilyn came out as wild animal trainers. Nicky was carrying a chair and wearing a T-shirt that said Because I'm the boss, that's why, and blue sweatpants with a white stripe down the side. Marilyn was wearing blue sweatpants, too. Her T-shirt said I Brake for Chocolate. She was carrying a big bag labeled Treats.

The wild animals came out and they looked adorable. Claire and Andrew were wearing lion manes made of felt and yarn. Andrew wore a T-shirt painted orange and black with an orange and black striped face. They roared and meowed like cats and switched their tails and stroked their painted-on cat whiskers and furry ears attached to headbands. And if Alicia

didn't look exactly like a camel, she still made a very impressive wild animal.

The animal trainers put the wild animals through their paces with only minimal mishaps: Claire tripped as she jumped through a hoop of fire (a hula hoop with red, orange, and yellow crepe paper glued to it) and Andrew crashed into her from behind. They recovered nicely and roared at each other until Nicky approached them with the chair and commanded them to go back to their places. They returned to their perches (bales of hay with colorful old tablecloths on top) and roared some more. Meanwhile Jamie pretended to do a tiger dance on his hind legs and Alicia jumped over some special hurdles.

We all applauded, and Nicky and Marilyn bowed, and Marilyn handed treats to the wild animals.

Then the animal dancers came on and the disaster began. Jessi had choreographed a simple dance that incorporated things that the kids could already do (such as Margo's terrific cartwheels and Becca's ability to walk on her hands). And clearly Becca, who'd chosen to be a goat (after her rhino head didn't quite work) and Margo, who'd chosen to be a bird, had practiced their parts. But Ricky and Hannie didn't seem to know what they were doing

at all. When Ricky lost his place in the animal dance line for the fifth time, he scowled and said, "Well, animals don't dance in real circuses, either," and stopped altogether. Hannie stopped, too, which left Becca and Margo spinning in a void.

, Then Becca and Margo stopped. "We're all supposed to be touching our right hands together in the center and turning around in an animal wheel," said Becca.

"No real animal in a real circus would ever do that."

"This is our circus," Margo said indignantly. "We can do what we want."

"It's dumb/,' said Ricky.

"Oh, yeah?" Margo put her hands on her hips and looked very threatening (at least, very threatening for a bird).

"Curtain, curtain, curtain!" said Vanessa. She jumped to the middle of the ring.

"Don't you know any of the steps?" asked Becca, her voice sounding a little wobbly. "Jessi made this dance up for four animals. We can't do it with only two!"

"Curtain,"said Vanessa. "Bring on the clowns." Kristy dropped a new cassette into the tape deck and the clowns — David Michael, Matt, Carolyn, and Natalie — came tumbling into the ring, waving squirt guns and

wearing big red noses made of Ping-Pong balls, and funny faces that they'd painted on themselves — all except Natalie.

"Natalie, where's your costume?"- asked Kristy, stopping the music with a slam of her hand. Her voice echoed loudly in the silence.-

Natalie said, "It didn't look like a real clown costume. So I just never finished it."

"Our costumes look real," said David Michael. "Our costumes look great!"

"Natalie, go stand over there with Mary Anne. We'll talk about the costume later."

The downs went on with the show.

"The water's making the clowns' makeup run," said Natalie loudly. "That's because it's not real down makeup."

David Michael ran toward the audience with what looked like a big bucket of water. He threw the bucket — on Natalie.

Natalie gave a little scream before she realized that the bucket was filled with oatmeal.

"That's a real down trick," said David Michael angrily.

"Clowns, stay in character. I mean, keep on being funny, not angry, okay?" Kristy called out.

The clowns finished their act — with more than one furious look in Natalie's direction.

"And now for our specialty acts, beginning with sawing the lady in half," said Vanessa.

This was the secret act that Karen and Nancy had been working on.

"This would be better if we were a real circus camp with real props,” Karen announced in her biggest, loudest "outdoor" voice. "But we had to make our own. We hope the audience will understand."

"Hey, I'm supposed to make the announcements," said Vanessa, brandishing her baton. "I'm the ringmaster."

"Then why are you holding a baton?" said Karen scornfully. "You look like a bandleader in a parade, not a real ringmaster."

Vanessa's eyes flashed. But she was never at a loss for words and this time proved no exception. "Cut it out, you two! Or you will soon be through!"

Karen rolled her eyes. Then she motioned to Nancy to crawl into a big cardboard box that said Under the counter storage system on one side and This side up on the other. They'd put the box on the bale of hay and cut a door in the top, which Karen ceremoniously raised for Nancy to climb through. There was a hole in one end of the box for Nancy's head and two holes at the other end for her feet. After a moment of thumping and bumping, Nancy's

head popped out of one end. A moment later, a strange and lumpy looking "leg" emerged from the other end. Then another "leg" emerged.

Beside me, Logan started to snicker. "What is that?"

I peered at the "legs." "They look like stockings stuffed with… toilet paper?"

"I will now saw Nancy in half. Nancy, please wiggle your legs to demonstrate that is really you in the box."

The two lumpy legs wiggled. Oddly.

Karen produced a small saw and held it high in the air.

Every single sitter there jumped forward at once, saying, "Stop! Hold it right there! What are you doing?"

Karen stopped, looking surprised and a little sheepish.