Ann Martin - Stacey's Broken Heart

Dad nodded sympathetically. "Wipe your eyes and then come out to eat with Samantha and me. She's waiting downstairs in a cab."

Samantha, Dad's friend, is pretty nice. I didn't mind going out with her. But I was in the mood to be by myself. I told Dad that, but he insisted. "You shouldn't be alone right now," he said. "Come on."

So I went. Dad and Samantha had planned to go to a burger place, but Dad switched plans. He told the cab driver to take us to Joe Alien's which is one of my favorite restaurants in New York. We had a nice meal, though I probably wasn't much company. I hardly said anything. I'm sure Samantha sensed something was wrong, but she didn't-ask.

That night, after I said good night to Dad, I turned out the lights but I couldn't sleep. I lay awake staring at the light the streetlamp threw across my ceiling. What would Robert say if I asked him what was going on? I wondered about it and the more I wondered, the more I had to know.

I got out of bed and went quietly into the living room. There was no real need to turn on the lights because a streetlamp outside the window lit the room well enough for me to see the phone.

It was about nine forty-five. Robert's family didn't go to bed until ten.

I dialed Robert's number. His sister answered. "Is Robert there, please?" I said.

"I'll get him," she said.

I heard her call him. In the distance I could hear him ask her something. "No, I don't know who it is," she shouted back, sounding irritated. I heard his blurred, indistinct voice again. "Yes. It's a girl," his sister shouted. "No, I'm not asking who it is. I'm not your secretary."

"Hello?" Robert said.

I opened my mouth to speak. Only a croaking sound came out. What would I say to him? I hung up.

Clutching the phone in the dark, I hung my head and sobbed.

Chapter 12.

"Is something the matter?" Ethan asked me the nextday as we stood on the top deck of the Circle Line boat. The boat was cruising past the gigantic Twin Towers at the southern tip of Manhattan. Henry leaned on the railing, gazing out at the impressive city skyline. Behind us, Grace had conked out, snoozing peacefully on a bench.

"It's nothing," I replied. "A personal thing." Of course, I was thinking about Robert.

"You seem really bummed," Ethan observed.

I forced a smile. "I didn't know it showed. Sorry."

"That's okay. Can I help?"

I shook my head. "Thanks anyway."

"The opening tomorrow night will cheer you up," he said. "I can't wait."

A breeze off the Hudson River whipped my

hair into my face. Pushing it back, I looked at Ethan. He had such a nice face. I was comfortable with him. He was just very thoughtful, and a lot of fun. "Will you be at the opening?" I asked.

"Yeah, and I'm totally psyched. The show is going to be awesome. I can't believe the Walkers pulled it off. Last week they were so far behind. They didn't have nearly enough stuff finished or framed. But with you here this week, they accomplished a lot. You saved the day."

"No, I didn't." I laughed. "I only baby-sat."

"Believe me, it made a big difference," he insisted. "Anyway, wait until you see the show. It's great. A lot of important people will be there to see it."

"Artists?" I asked.

"Artists, and gallery owners, and art critics. Publishing people will be there because Mrs. Walker does book and magazine illustrations. Almost everyone they invited accepted."

"I guess it will be pretty exciting," I said.

"Super exciting. It will even convince you to move back to the city."

I smiled. "You think?"

"I hope," he said seriously.

The tingling sensation at my temples told me I was blushing. Mortified, I turned away. Blushing like that was such a childish thing

to do. But despite my embarrassment, I felt happy. I was glad Ethan wished I lived in the city. It made me wish I lived in the city full-time, too.

When the tingling subsided, I turned back to Ethan. "That's nice of you to say," I told him. "I sort of live in the city, really. I'm here a lot of weekends."

"That's true," he said, smiling. We looked at each other and I was aware that my heart was pounding.

Just then, Grace stirred on the bench. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up. "Hi," I said, joining her. "Did you have a good nap?"

She nodded sleepily. Henry sat on the bench with us. "I'm hungry," he said. Grace was, too, so we went inside and bought some snacks. From then on, the kids were awake , and curious about everything they saw. Ethan and I pointed out the Empire State Building and other sights as we passed them.

When the tour ended, we took a cab back to the Walkers'. "Hey, want to go see the star show at the planetarium?" Ethan suggested.

"Yea!" Henry cheered.

"Good idea!" I agreed. I wanted to stay busy. I didn't want time to think about Robert. "Don't you have to help hang the rest of the show, though?" I asked Ethan.

"Not until this evening."

"Great," I said. We went to the planetarium and saw the show. Even Grace liked it since she thought it was exciting to sit in a dark theater looking up at stars and planets. After that, we walked back to the Walkers' apartment together.

"How was your day?" Mr. Walker asked the kids as they ran to him and hugged him. He looked frazzled, with a thin smear of hot pink paint across his forehead and a patch of pearly white paint in his hair. He'd been working hard this week.

"It was great," Henry told him, smiling.

"Ethan, I could use you here a minute," Mrs. Walker said. She was fitting one of her paintings with a mat and frame. Ethan joined her. "Hold this steady for me, would you?" Mrs. Walker asked.

It was time for me to go, so I said good-bye and left. On the street, I hailed a cab. As soon as I sat down, I felt terrible. By myself there was no distraction from my thoughts. I kept picturing Andi with Robert. It was awful, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

What was so special about Andi? Nothing that I could see. How could he like her better than me? Why had he stopped liking me? What had I done wrong? Maybe he needed somebody who didn't baby-sit and who didn't

go away every other weekend, someone who was there all the time.

I thought of a million things that might be the matter with me. Every insecurity I'd ever felt came zooming back. Was something wrong with my personality? My looks? Was I too thin? Was it the diabetes? Did he want a girlfriend who could eat ice cream and junk food with him?

Did he want someone who was part of his old crowd? It could be. Maybe I took him away from his old friends too much. He might want a girlfriend who fit in better.

By the time the cab pulled up to my dad's apartment on 65th Street, I felt like screaming. I couldn't stand the thoughts I was thinking. I longed to turn them off, but I couldn't.

Dad wasn't home yet, so I turned on the TV. I watched every rerun that came on, one after the other, without even channel surfing for something good. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I dialed Robert's number again.

Busy.

Was he talking to Andi? Somehow I was positive he was.

Dad came in around seven. He was in a great mood — too great. I could tell he was trying to be super upbeat for my sake. "Come on," he said cheerfully. "We're going to the theater!"

"The theater?" I repeated.