Steel, Danielle - The House On Hope Street

“I fffelllll … offffff … a lllladdddder.”

“Putting something on the Christmas tree?” Jamie nodded. “You know what we’re going to do? We’re going to give you a cast for that arm, and you have to make me a promise. Will you do that?”

“Wwwwhhhatt’s the ppppromise?” Jamie was shaking from head to foot from all the crying, but as Bill talked to him he was gently feeling the arm, and distracting Jamie. And the child made no objection, as his mother watched him.

“I want to be the first one to sign your cast. Is that a deal? Not the second or the third … I’ve got to be first. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jamie nodded, as the surgeon arrived, and the two doctors conferred, and as they finished, Bill glanced at Liz. She was looking very thin, and at the moment distraught over Jamie’s broken arm, which was why he had made the suggestion he just had to the surgeon.

“You know what we’re going to do?” Bill asked Jamie as though he had a terrific surprise for him. “We’re going to go upstairs and put on your cast now. And I’m going to come with you, just to be sure that no one else signs it first. How does that sound to you? You’re going to sleep for a few minutes, and when you wake up, presto magic, the cast will be on, and I’ll sign it.”

“Can I make the bed go up and down?” He still remembered that from Peter’s stay there.

“We’ll find you one you can turn every way you want, but first let’s get that cast on.” He glanced at Liz to reassure her, and she nodded. She knew then what he had done, he had asked the surgeon if he could stay in the OR with Jamie, and the gesture touched her. She wanted to thank him, but he was already pushing Jamie toward the elevator on the gurney, and the surgeon was right behind them. She didn’t want to call out to the child for fear that it would remind him that she couldn’t go with him. So instead she huddled in a chair miserably, worrying about him, and thinking about Bill. It had been a shock to see him, but there had been so much else happening that they couldn’t even speak to each other, which was probably better. There was nothing left to say anyway. It had been a month since she’d seen him, and it felt like aeons. She still cried herself to sleep at night over him, but there was no way for him to know that.

It was over an hour before they returned, and when they did, Jamie was still groggy, and Bill was still with him. The surgeon had gone on to another case, and Bill told her very professionally that everything had gone smoothly. It had been a clean break, and in six weeks they could take the cast off. They’d even given him one he could wear in the shower.

“He should wake up in a few minutes. He did fine upstairs. We put him out so fast he never knew what hit him.” She couldn’t help but remember how gruff he’d been with her the first time they met, and notice how gentle he was with Jamie now. He was a man of a million facets. And Megan calling him a “brute” made her wince even more than before. It had been inexcusable, and she knew it. “Do you want a cup of coffee while he wakes up? It might be a little while, maybe twenty minutes.”

“Do you have time?” She didn’t want to impose on him. She knew how busy he was, and he had already spent nearly two hours with Jamie.

“I have time,” he said, leading her down the hall to a room where the ER doctors relaxed between cases. But there was no one in the room when they got there. And he handed her a steaming cup of coffee. “He’ll be fine, Liz, don’t worry about him.”

“Thanks for being so nice to him. I appreciate it a lot. He was scared to death when I got here.”

Bill smiled as he nodded and poured himself a cup of coffee. “He damn near screamed the house down. I wondered what was happening, that’s why I came over. Great set of lungs on Master Jamie.” She smiled, and their eyes met. But neither of them acknowledged more than Jamie’s broken arm. And it was obvious that they felt awkward with each other. He looked as though he had lost weight too, and he seemed pale and tired, but Christmas was busy for him. There were lots of drunk drivers and broken hips and traumas she couldn’t even dream of, like what had happened to Justin, and now Jamie. Though Bill usually only handled the major disasters, like Peter’s accident. “You look well,” he said finally, and she nodded, not sure what to respond to him. She could hardly tell him that she thought of him night and day and had figured out how much she loved him. It was a little late for that.

“You must be busy over the holidays,” she said to make idle conversation. Everything else she could have said sounded either argumentative or pathetic. And there was no point trying to sell him something he knew he didn’t want. If he had wanted it, or changed his mind, he would have called. His silence was the final message. And she heard it loud and clear.

“I am pretty busy. How’s Peter?” He was keeping the conversation to neutral topics, like his patient.

“As good as new,” she smiled, “and madly in love.”

“Good for him. Tell him I said hi.” With that, he looked at his watch and suggested they go back to Jamie. “He should be wide awake now.” He was, and he was asking for Bill and his mother, and he smiled when he saw them. “You didn’t forget your promise, did you, champ?” Jamie shook his head with a broad grin, and Bill whipped a marker out of his pocket. He wrote a little poem to him, and drew a little dog, and then signed it, and Jamie was ecstatic.

“You were first, Bill, I promised!”

“You sure did.” Bill smiled at him, and then hugged him, as Liz watched them, feeling her heart ache. This was what she had lost when he walked out of her life on Thanksgiving. But she already knew exactly what she had lost, and there was nothing she could do about it. He had made up his mind.

“You never flew your kite with me,” Jamie said, as he looked at him, and Bill looked a little startled, and then dismayed.

“You’re right, I didn’t. I’ll call your mom someday, and we’ll take it out for a spin. Maybe after you get your cast off. How does that sound?”

“Good.” He nodded, satisfied, and Bill lifted him off the gurney, and set him gently on his feet.

“Now, will you stay off that ladder for me?” Jamie nodded, his eyes filled with admiration. Bill was his hero. “And don’t climb the Christmas tree either.”

“Mom won’t let me.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Now, say hi to Peter and your sisters for me. I’ll see you soon, Jamie. Merry Christmas.”

“My daddy died on Christmas,” Jamie informed him, and Liz felt her heart flinch. It was a reminder none of them needed.

“I know,” Bill said respectfully. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”

“Me too. It was a very bad Christmas.”

“I’m sure it was, for your whole family. I hope this one will be better.”

“I asked Santa for a kite like yours, but Mom says he won’t bring one. She says we have to buy one.”

“Or make one,” Bill corrected. “What else did you ask Santa for?”

“A puppy, but Mom says we won’t get that either, because Carole is allergic. She has asthma. I asked for games too, and a Nerf gun.”

“I’ll bet you get those for sure.” Jamie nodded, and thanked him for the cast and for signing it, and then Bill turned his eyes to the child’s mother. He could feel her watching them and there was something so sad in her eyes that it burned right through him. “I hope Christmas will be okay for all of you. I know the first year won’t be easy.”

“It’s got to be better than last year,” she smiled, with her mouth, if not her eyes, and he wanted to push back a lock of hair that had fallen across her eyes, but he didn’t think he should. She did it herself a minute later, unaware that he had seen it. “Thank you for being so good to Jamie. I appreciate it.”