E. Lockhart - The Boyfriend List

Her: “It’s supposed to be, but I get bored.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know, it’s just boring. Maybe he’s not very good at it.”

“What’s it like?”

“Not much. Not like in the sex-ed books. I think about other stuff while he’s doing it.”

“Why bother, then?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It’s something to do. I think it makes him feel like a sex god.”

“Maybe you could train him. So he’d get better at it.”

“Maybe. I hate to burst his little sex god bubble. He seems so proud of himself, after.”

After the Adam “debacle” in chapter one, Roo and Kim begin a notebook called The Boy Book in which they write down everything they know about boys. Have you ever started a book like this on your own or with your friends? Do you think it would be useful? What information would you include?

On page 41, Ruby spills her guts to Kim about Finn. Is this smart? Are there circumstances in which it’s better to keep your mouth shut? Has something like this ever happened to you—you tried to do the right thing and it backfired?

Ruby gives three examples of the way love works in the movies. In her example on page 64, the couples hate each other half the time but still get together in the end. In her example on page 65, the couple breaks up, but then the man realizes that he loves the woman and can’t exist without her, and they get back together and live happily ever after. And on page 198, the hopeless dorky guy who’s been there all along eventually gets the girl. Do you agree with Ruby that these happy endings don’t happen in real life? Pick one of the movies mentioned and discuss it. Does the romantic situation in the movie ring true? Can you think of other movies, books, or television shows that would fit on Ruby’s lists?

Ruby discovers that dating Jackson isn’t the way she thought dating was supposed to be. Have you ever discovered that your ideas about something were wrong? How was the reality different from what you had imagined?

In chapter six, Kim and Ruby invent the perfect boyfriend and name him Tommy Hazard. Do you have your own Tommy Hazard? Are there hazards in creating a “perfect” boyfriend?

After stealing Jackson, Kim tells Ruby, “When you find your Tommy Hazard you’ll understand. I honestly couldn’t help it.” Do you agree with Kim’s justification of her behavior? Does she do the right thing?

Even though Noel has become Roo’s only ally, she turns on him on page 176 after he says, “… if those are your friends you’ve got no need for enemies.” Why does this upset Ruby so much? Do you think Noel is right? Why is Ruby not yet ready to give up her old life, even though it has become the source of such pain?

When Kim calls Ruby a slut in class, Mr. Wallace gives a lecture on the negative effects of labels and points out that “there are no equivalent epithets for men whatsoever, and didn’t that say something about how women are viewed in our culture?” (page 177). What does it say? Can you give examples of the negative effects of labels, from real life or from movies, music, television shows, or books?

Ruby ends the book by saying, “I was out of the Tate universe, standing on the edge of the sea” (page 229). What does she mean by this? Is she really out of the Tate universe? Is this a satisfying ending? Do you believe that Ruby is in a better place now than when the book began? What do you think is next for her?

in her own words

a conversation with e. lockhart

Q. Where did you get the idea for The Boyfriend List? Did you have a boyfriend list?

A. In high school, I used to keep a list of all the boys I ever kissed. There were little hearts dotting the is and everything! But when I looked for it some fifteen years after graduating, the list had disappeared.

I hoped it hadn’t fallen into the wrong hands.

And there was an idea.

It was quite a difficult book to structure, in the end. After all, a list is not a story, and with the list structure I had to tell Roo’s story completely out of order—flashing back to her middle school years, forward to events of sophomore year, forward again to shrink appointments in which the events were discussed four months after they happened, etc.

Q. Readers often wonder how much an author is her main character. Are there any similarities between you and Ruby? Did you ever lose a friend over a boy?

A. All the events of the story are fictional. The element closest to true is Jackson’s note-writing style. My first serious boyfriend used to write me notes like that and leave them in my mail cubby.

I used to live in Seattle, and the locations are largely real—the B&O Espresso, the U. District, etc. But Ruby’s parents, her houseboat, her school, her various obsessions and interests—those are imaginary.

How am I like Roo? As a teenager, I was definitely a thrift-store maven. In both high school and college I was a scholarship kid surrounded by very wealthy people. I also have Roo’s tendency to hyperanalyze small human interactions.

Yes, I have lost friends over boys—and boys to friends. I wanted to write about heartbreak on more than one level—the heartbreak of losing a friend as well as the heartbreak of losing a boyfriend.

Q. “Tommy Hazard” has struck a chord with many readers. Did you have a Tommy Hazard? What was he like?

A. Tommy was actually an afterthought. I had a chapter that was too long and wanted to break it up, which meant I needed another boy—and I wanted to do something different than what I’d done in the other chapters.

I’ve been a little sad that so many girls love Tommy so much. Hello!?! Tommy Hazard and Prince Charming—neither one exists! You can’t hold out for them or you will be sad and disappointed. Or you’ll end up being the kind of girl (like Kim) who snatches other people’s boyfriends because she’s deluding herself that she’s found perfection. Real boyfriends are real people. With flaws and often without glamour.

Q. The footnotes are a fun way to convey information. Where did you get the idea to use them? How did you decide what to put in them?

A. I’ve always liked footnotes. I trained to be an academic (I have a PhD in English literature) and I loved putting huge rambling asides in my footnotes while my central argument went on unimpeded by whatever tidbit had distracted my attention. I also love David Foster Wallace’s essays, in which he uses copious and often hilarious footnotes. So I wanted to try using them to convey the inside of a teenage girl’s mind.

How did I decide what to put in them? I wrote like a zillion and then my editor helped me figure out which ones were boring.