Tara Kelly - Harmonic Feedback

I hadn’t noticed anything unusual about Mr. Harvey other than the spit flying out of his mouth with every hard consonant. He also smelled like an old closet—no wonder I had a front table all to myself.

Naomi pushed open a set of doors and led me back to the fountain. Students poured out into the quad like ants zeroing in on a juice spill. “Is your lunch in there?” She nodded at my blue lunch box.

“It’s in my backpack.”

“Do you take that thing everywhere with you?”

My hand tightened around the handle. “Yes.” Like Mr. Fuzzy the blanket, my box was a piece of home. It comforted me.

“Got anything I can eat?” She elbowed her way through a group of jocks and slid onto the cement wall, spreading her arms wide and leaning on her palms.

I plopped next to her, yanking a crumpled brown bag out of my backpack. “I’ve got a jelly sandwich and an apple.”

Naomi wrinkled her nose. “Feeling extra fruity this morning?”

“The apple was Grandma’s idea. You can have it.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You got something against peanut butter?”

“Yeah, it’s gross.”

“But purple jelly between two pieces of… what the hell kind of bread is that?”

I shrugged. “Some twelve-grain stuff my grandma eats. I didn’t have time to buy food this weekend.”

She shook her head and sank her teeth into the green apple.

Drizzle sprinkled my cheeks, and the smell of wet pavement curled into my nostrils. I loved the scent of rain—if only it came in bottles. A couple of guys with messy hair and studded belts nodded at Naomi as they passed. She wiggled her fingers at them, and they nudged each other, smirking.

“Who are they?” I asked.

“Dumb and Dumber—the emo twins. I hooked up with the blond one last year. Shortest lunch break I ever had.” She grinned.

How was I supposed to respond to that? I swallowed a lump of jelly. “How come Kari doesn’t like you?”

Naomi rolled her eyes. “I messed around with her ex-boyfriend. Only—I didn’t know they were still together at the time. The dude in the red shirt.” She pointed to a guy with a shaved head and biceps as big as my thighs. He stood near the school entrance, laughing with a couple other boys.

“Oh.” I took another small bite of my sandwich. The seeds in the bread stuck to my teeth.

She nibbled on her thumbnail and gave me a sidelong glance. “It’s not like I’m a slut. I’ve only had actual sex with three guys.”

That sounded like an awful lot to me, but what did I know? The only people I talked to were net geeks online, and they never had dates either. “How old were you—the first time?”

She devoured the last speck of skin on the apple. “Fifteen. What about you?”

What made her assume I’d had sex? Maybe because she thought I had all these crazy-boy stories. “Um…” I tried to think of a good answer, but a hand squeezed my shoulder, making me jump.

“Hey.” Justin smiled at us. “Mind if I join you?”

Naomi glanced from me to him. “Fine by me.”

Justin sat next to me and unraveled a brown bag of his own, pulling out a couple pieces of vegetable pizza. The crust was super thin, like crackers. I wondered if it was his grandma’s recipe.

“You gonna answer the question or not?” Naomi nudged me.

I leaned closer to her ear and lowered my voice. “Not now.” Mom used to get on me about bringing up certain subjects around strangers, especially anything sex related. And talking about boys around a boy was just weird.

She leaned forward to look at Justin. “We were discussing our first time—when was yours?”

“Naomi!” I elbowed her. Maybe she needed a few social lessons herself.

Justin swallowed a massive bite of his pizza. “My first time… what?”

She squinted at him. “Don’t be coy.”

He crinkled his brow at me. “She always like this?”

Before I could answer, Roger shoved himself between Naomi and me. “Anyone game for Taco Bell?”

“Count me in,” Naomi said.

Roger pushed his shades down his nose and peered at me. “What about you, Grannie Panties? You and your boyfriend want to come?”

I looked away. His presence and loud voice made me cringe. “Can you not call me that?”

“I’m just teasing. Don’t get your panti—” He paused and laughed. “Oops.”

“Why don’t you drop it, man?” Justin asked.

Naomi’s eyes widened, and she made an O shape with her mouth.

Roger held his hands up. “I’m just playin’. You guys coming or not?”

Justin raised his pizza crust at him. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Aren’t we supposed to stay on campus at lunch?” I asked.

Roger pulled my lunch box into his lap and inspected it.

I snatched it from him. “Don’t touch that!” They wouldn’t understand my reaction. How could I explain the box was part of me—my space. I wanted to grab my stuff and run into the nearest bathroom stall. It was the only place at school that allowed me to lock people out. Sometimes it felt like the only place I could breathe.

Roger yanked on one of Naomi’s purple pigtails. “Where’d you find this chick?”

She scrunched her nose at me and bit her lip. “I’m gonna split. But I’ll see you in PE, okay?”

“Sure,” I said, feeling Justin’s eyes burning into me.

“Later,” Naomi said, ruffling my red curls.

As Naomi disappeared into the crowd, I wondered why she’d want to spend so much time hanging out with a guy she didn’t even seem to like.

“What a tool,” Justin commented.

“Roger?”

“Who else?” He gave me a little nudge. “Naomi seems cool, though.”

“Yeah, she’s the first person who… never mind.”

“Tell me.” He leaned close enough for me to inhale a musky scent. Kind of like rain in a forest. It made my stomach tickle.

I counted the cracks in the pavement below my dangling feet. “She’s really friendly—most people aren’t.”

“Maybe because you aren’t very friendly to them.”

I met his gaze. His eyes matched the cloudy sky. “What does that mean?”

“Well”—he glanced down at his long fingers—“you weren’t exactly Miss Sunshine to me this morning.”

“I’m sorry. Was I supposed to do a cheer for you?”

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “No, but looking at me would’ve been nice.”

“If I’m so horrible, why are you sitting here?”

“Because I think you’re interesting.”

Since when did guys like him find me interesting? “How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”

A smile edged at his lips, showing off a dimple on his left cheek. “I’m good at reading people.”

I crumpled up my paper bag and shifted away from him. “Shouldn’t you be hanging out with people more like you, then?”

“And who would that be?”

“Kari.”

“How did you come to the conclusion that I’m like Kari?”

“Usually guys like you—”

“Guys like me? Spit it out, Drea. What little box have you stuck me in?”

His questions made my stomach shrivel, and my mind was at its limit. I couldn’t even think. Nobody ever confronted me like this before. Usually I’d say a few sentences and they’d never talk to me again. Simple.

“I have to go.” I snatched my backpack and headed toward the school building, tossing my bag in the trash.

“It’s been a pleasure,” he called after me.

My chest felt tight as I walked down the hallway in search of the restrooms. The never-ending rows of lockers bowed in and out, and my boots squeaked on the green tile floor. A group of girls stared at me as I passed them, their whispers like needles poking at my skin. Kari was one of them.