Edeet Ravel - Look for Me

“Why not just ask them?”

“I’ve asked them a mil ion times, of course! They don’t want to tel me for some reason. I thought they didn’t know, but I just found out

“I’ve asked them a mil ion times, of course! They don’t want to tel me for some reason. I thought they didn’t know, but I just found out that they do know. They know, but they don’t want to tel me. So I need someone who can go into the computers and tel me.”

“If they’re not tel ing you, there’s a good reason,” Coby said.

“Like what?”

He shrugged. “I have no idea. But there has to be a reason.”

“But what? What could it be? I’ve thought and thought, and I just can’t gure it out. He isn’t in an institution, he’s alive. He’s alive and he lives alone.”

“Maybe he’s left the country?”

“No, the detective checked. He hasn’t left.”

“Maybe he left without anyone knowing.”

“You have to show your passport no mat er how you leave. He doesn’t even have a passport, he never applied for one.”

“Maybe he’s working in espionage.”

“Espionage! That’s a joke. He spent practical y his entire training period in jail—for wearing pajamas under his uniform, for talking back

—once he even peed on a whole bunch of grenades. He and some other guys, but he was the initiator, they were having a contest. He hated the army. He deliberately shot in the air at target practice, he begged to be put in laundry, and nal y he got his way, he got to do laundry. If he were a spy, this country would be in big trouble.”

“You never know. People change. Spying isn’t the same as fighting.”

“I wish you knew him. That’s the last thing he’d do. He doesn’t have any qualifications.”

“Wel , that’s al I can think of. I can’t think of any other reason.”

“Do you know anyone who can find out? Please?”

“Let me think for a minute … Let’s see. I do have a cousin, I’m not sure exactly what he does, but maybe. I’l talk to him. But if the army has a reason, my cousin is going to have the same reason.”

“Just try. Please.”

“Sure, I’l ask him. Do you have your husband’s ID number?”

I wrote down Daniel’s ID on a napkin and Coby slid it into his pocket. “Al my hope is on that napkin,” I said.

Coby smiled. “I won’t lose it, I promise. Where do you know Rafi from?”

“We go to the same activities. We’ve been at the same events lots of times, but we never talked to one another until the demo last Saturday, in Mejwan. Or rather in Ein Mazra’a, they wouldn’t let us into Mejwan.”

Coby shook his head. “You guys are so clued out, it’s hard to fathom.”

“We’re not clued out.”

“Yeah, wel . You only see one side.”

“Rafi said you lynched a Palestinian,” I said.

“I didn’t lynch anyone.”

“Yeah, but he says you were there.”

“I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“And someone’s bal s got shot at.”

“There were lots of incidents. It was so long ago, you can’t possibly expect me to remember. And if they could have, they would have torn us to pieces too. Luckily, we were too strong. What does it mat er, anyhow? It’s water under the bridge now. We tried peace, we tried negotiating, we tried giving them what they wanted, and now we’re under at ack again.”

“Yes, we gave them what they wanted. You can now be owners of your own house. But meanwhile we’re just going to move into another room, and another room, and also we’ve got the keys and also we’re just going to stay in charge of the water, we hope you don’t mind. And oh yes, we stil need to post a few guards in the kitchen, and if we kil someone who walks in the garden without our permission we’l be fined two shekels, is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, wel . Trust takes time. And you see, we were right not to trust them.”

“Maybe they were right not to trust us.”

“Maybe. Maybe we’re both right. Maybe we’re just doomed to go on kil ing each other forever. I personal y am planning to move. I’ve had it.”“Move where?”

“My wife has relatives in Boston. We’re thinking of going next year, but we might be able to pul it o sooner. I want my kids to grow up in a seminormal environment.”

“Wil you do the same thing in Boston? Hotel management?”

“Maybe, or maybe I’l go into business with my wife’s uncle.

We’l see.”

“You’l miss things about this place.”

“Yes, but there wil be things I won’t miss … Seen any good lms lately?” he asked. He began talking about European and British directors and their best and worst lms. He was mad about Mike Leigh. Bertolucci had a bad-movie phase, he said, but Besieged was a masterpiece.

He said he used to like Kieslowski, but now he thought he was just a voyeur. Some movies aged wel , like Wild Strawberries, but others lost their appeal with time, as audiences became more sophisticated.

His conversation helped me forget about the mice, and I took him up on his o er to have dinner, though I insisted on paying. By the time I left the dining room it was eight in the evening, time for the sea.

FRIDAY

RAFI PHONED EARLY ON FRIDAY MORNING. “Are you coming to South Lifna?” he asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you want a ride? It’s lonely going down on my own. I was supposed to take Dudu but Hagari’s sick, he can’t come.”

“I was planning to go with Odelia. But maybe I’l cal her— she already has a ful car.”

“I’l pick you up at noon, then?”

“Fine.”

“Have you made any progress with Daniel?”

“I may have something.”

“I’ve been asking around, too.”

“Any luck?”

“I’m not sure. My youngest brother’s girlfriend, maybe. But I have to talk to her in person. How are you, Dana?”

“I’m restless.”

“Wel , we have a long day ahead of us. What wil you do until noon?”

“Volvo wants me to read to him.”

“Can’t he read himself?”

“He says his shoulders get tired.”

“What wil you read?”

“I’m not sure. I think he has something by Appelfeld.”

“That should cheer you both up.”

“Actual y, those books have a calming ef ect on us. What about you?”

“I’m taking my daughter swimming. See you at noon.”

I spent the morning reading to Volvo, as promised. He lay on his bed with his eyes shut, but I could tel he was listening to every word. He would have been happy for me to go on al day.

“That’s it, Volvo. I have to go out now,” I told him.

“Where to?”

“Just out with some friends.”

“You are a person of many mysteries.”

“I’m not, real y.”

“Just one more chapter.”

“You can read the rest yourself, Volvo.”

“It’s not the same.”

“You’re not blind. You’re not paralyzed. I don’t know why I read to you.”

“I like being read to. Don’t you think I deserve some crumbs of pleasure?”

“We al deserve some crumbs of pleasure. I have to go now.”

“I’ve been thinking lately that I might be gay.”

“We’l talk about it another time, Volvo.”

“I had a very erotic dream last night involving Alex. It took me entirely by surprise.”

“Wel , Volvo, that would be great. Any change would be good for you. I have to go, though. Rafi’s coming to pick me up.”

“Does his wife know?”

“Why don’t you cal and ask her?”

I went to my at to get my camera ready. Ra knocked on my door a few minutes before twelve. “I’m looking for Dana,” he said when I answered.