Julia Watts - Wedding Bell Blues

“Some of ’em even drink strychnine and set themselves on fire,” Mike laughed.

Big Ben set down his knife and fork. “I was raised in the Church of God. Now, we wasn’t the kind to handle snakes or set ourselves afire or nothin’ like that. But we would shout and speak in tongues and get happy. And you wanna talk about some fine people ... they was some of the best folks you’d ever meet in that church.” He took a slug of Coke. “Now, I ain’t in that church no more, mind you. Jeanie and Mama joined up with the Presbyterians a while back, and I joined up with ’em. I don’t hardly go to church there, though, ’cause the preaching and the singing’s so quiet, it seems like I have to start snoring just to make a little noise.

“I’ll tell you somethin’, though. A few years back I was down in Mississippi on bizness, and I looked up this ole army buddy of mine—a black feller. He invited me to a tent revival his church was having. I was the only white man in that tent, and I swear to God, I don’t believe I sat down once during the whole service ... I was too busy standing up and clapping and singing. Them people knew how to have church, let me tell you.” Big Ben picked up his silverware and dug back into his steak.

“Well, of course, there’s good people in every group,” Charles waffled. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know what you meant, buddy,” Big Ben said, looking Charles in the eye.

“So,” Jeanie said, with determined cheer. “We got pound cake and chess pie. Who wants what?”

As everyone sat with their coffee in the living room, Lily crawled down on the floor with Mimi and helped her to a standing position. “How about a little after-dinner entertainment, Mimi-saurus?” Lily said. “Why don’t you show Grandma and Grandpa how you can walk?”

Mimi stood with her little hands clenched, steeling herself for action.

“Come on, sweetie. Walk to Mama.”

Mimi knitted her brow, sucked in her breath, and took one, two, three faltering steps before falling into Lily’s arms. At the sound of her grandparents’ applause, she grinned crookedly.

“I swear,” Big Ben said, “I think she’s just about the happiest baby I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, of course she’s happy,” Jeanie added. “Why wouldn’t she be? She’s well taken care of, and loved.” She looked straight at the Maycombs. “Mimi may not be hers by blood, but Lily’s still one of the best mamas I’ve ever seen.”

Lily’s stomach clenched. All evening she had been wondering how to broach the subject of Mimi’s custody with the Maycombs. Now it seemed that Big Ben and Jeanie were going to cut to the chase for her, which, she noticed, had caused the Maycombs to squirm as though the cushions in their chairs were stuffed with gravel.

“Well,” Charles said, avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room. “I’m sure Lily is fine at seeing to the child’s basic needs —keeping her fed and clean, that kind of thing.” He smiled self-righteously. “But as I’m sure some of the ladies in the room know, there’s a lot more to being a mother than that.”

“Oh, yes.” Ida looked at Mike in the same way Jocasta must have looked at Oedipus. “If you’ve not carried the child in your own body, you don’t know what it is to be a mother. Nobody knows children like a real mother does.”

That’s funny, Lily thought. You barely could have picked your daughter out of a lineup.

“Well, that’s certainly a sentiment you could needlepoint on a pillow,” Ben said. “But Mimi’s biological mother is no longer with us. Lily and I are just trying to create the best family for her that we can.”

“Well,” Charles said calmly, “we feel that Mimi needs to be in an environment where she can learn the difference between right and wrong—”

“Now you just hold on a minute here,” Big Ben interrupted. “You can ask anybody in Faulkner County, and they’ll tell you the McGillys is fine folks. We’re a decent, hardworking family, and Benny Jack here is a good boy. We never had a bit of trouble outta him, and I can’t say the same thing for his brothers. And Lily — she may not look like you’re used to girls looking, but she’s a good, honest person.”

The word stung Lily, but she was touched by Big Ben’s impassioned defense.

“Look,” Mike said impatiently, “there are certain factors here you don’t understand. I don’t want to go into them because there are ladies present. Let’s just say that given these factors, we feel it would be in Mimi’s best interests to live with the remaining members of her biological family.”

“But Mike,” Lily interjected, “Ben is Mimi’s biological father.” So much for the honesty theory, she thought.

“Oh, I don’t believe that story for a minute. Mimi’s daddy was in some test tube at a sperm bank.” Mike’s bald spot flushed red, and a vein in his forehead bulged. “Just because you found some sissy to marry you, just because you put on a dress and shaved your legs, that doesn’t change what you are—”

“Calm down, son—” Charles interrupted.

Heedless, Mike ranted on. “And don’t think for a second we don’t know who you are, Lily...

McGilly, as you call yourself. For whatever perverted purposes, you may claim to be a normal wife and mother, but deep down you’re still a godless, man-hating…”

A crash issued from upstairs as though a door had been ripped from its sockets. Something huge barreled down the stairs and soon was standing on its hind legs with its front paws positioned on the arms of Mike’s chair. A low growl issued from its black, curled-back lips.

“Mordecai!” Big Ben hollered. “Down, boy!”

The rottweiler didn’t budge. Mike’s face, so recently aflame with anger, was now frozen in terror.

“Mordecai!” Lily called. “Down, boy”

Mordecai wagged his stump of a tail at Lily and moved his bulk to rest in front of her and Mimi, creating a physical barrier between them and the Maycombs.

“Oh, I see how it is.” Mike rose from his chair. His plaid pants looked suspiciously damp to Lily.

“You invite us down here so you can make a mockery of us. You sic your dog on us —”

“Now hold on a minute, buddy,” Big Ben interrupted. “We didn’t sic our dog on you. He was shut in the bedroom upstairs.”

“He musta heard you yelling at Lily,” Jeanie said. “Ever since Lily got here, Mordecai’s just took to her. It’s like he’s her protector —”

“My knight in shining flea collar,” Lily said, hoping a joke would lighten the bleak situation. It didn’t.

“Well...” Ida was holding her purse in her lap. “It’s getting awfully late.” She looked at Charles hopefully.

He picked up his cue. “Yes, it is, and we’ve got a long drive ahead of us. Thank you for dinner—”

“Wait,” Ben said. Everyone’s head turned toward him. “My wife and I asked you here tonight in hopes that we could settle our differences outside a court-room. Now, Lily and I have talked about this a lot, and we both agree that you can see Mimi as often as you like— as long as you agree to respect the terms of Charlotte’s will.”