Julia Watts - Wedding Bell Blues

Jeanie ran over to stand at his side. “I thought about calling you at work to tell you, but I thought it’d be more exciting to surprise you at home.” She looked across the pool. “Benny Jack! Come tell Daddy your news!”

Lily considered joining Ben but decided to stay put until she was told otherwise. From her safe spot at the picnic table, she heard Ben say, “Daddy, I’m married.”

When Big Ben could close his jaw enough to speak, he shouted, “Married? To a woman?” Big Ben cackled with joy. “Hot damn! I never thought I’d live to see the day.” He punched his son on the shoulder so hard that Ben lost his footing for a second. “Where is she? Where’s the little lady?”

This, Lily guessed, was her cue. She rose. “Right here,” she said.

Big Ben gallumphed over and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been so happy to see a woman in my whole life.”

Lily guessed that Ben had been right. Her nose ring, her dreadlocks, and her Doc Martens were irrelevant; the only thing that mattered to the McGillys was that she was a woman, and Ben had married her. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. —” She stopped herself. “Big Ben.”

“Gan!” Mimi babbled from Granny McGilly’s lap. She was already trying to say granny.

Big Ben looked down at the baby girl, surprised. “Now who is this?”

“This,” Ben said, “is my daughter.”

Big Ben looked at Mimi, then at Lily, and finally at Ben. His lips spread into an impossibly wide grin. He punched his son on the shoulder again. “You dog,” he laughed. “You ole dog, you!”

The party was dying down. Wayne and Sheila and Johnny and Tracee had taken their kids home to bed. Jeanie and Granny were in the kitchen, washing the dishes after having assured Lily that there was no need for her to help them. “No need for a girl to wash dishes on her wedding night,” Jeanie had said.

“They’ll be plenty of time for that kinda thing later, believe me.”

Lily and Ben sat beside the pool with Big Ben, who was holding the sleeping Mimi in his arms.

“Lily,” he said, “I know I oughta let you put this baby girl to bed, but I swear, I don’t believe I can stand to part with her.”

“She does look awfully comfortable,” Lily said. Big Ben cradled Mimi’s little body in his enormous forearm and hand. In his other hand, he held the last beer from the cooler.

“Daddy,” Ben said, “there’s something I need to talk to you about ... some legal trouble.”

Big Ben raised his wooly eyebrows. “You in trouble with the law, boy?”

“No, Daddy ... nothing like that. It’s about Mimi, actually.”

“Now you got me real confused, Benny Jack.” Big Ben took another swig of beer and looked down at Mimi’s cherubic face.

“It’s about who gets custody of Mimi,” Ben the younger said. “You see ... I’m Mimi’s biological father, but Lily here isn’t Mimi’s real mother.”

Lily was offended by the phrase real mother, but decided it was best not to make an issue out of it… not while they were trying to make their case. “Mimi is the daughter of my best friend Charlotte,” Lily explained. “She was killed in an accident, and she left custody of Mimi to me.”

“Charlotte was in the car with Dez,” Ben added.

Big Ben shook his head. “I sure was sorry when ole Dez got killed. He was queer as a three-dollar bill, but he was funny as hell.” He stared off in the distance for a second. “Now, Benny Jack, Mimi here’s your baby by Charlotte?”

“Yes. Charlotte and I were ... involved.”

Lily could tell she really wanted this plan to work because she managed to keep a straight face during this part of the story.

“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” Big Ben laughed, obviously delighted. “All this time I thought you was a fairy, and here you was, with two women!”

“Go figure,” Ben replied lamely.

“So, anyway,” Lily said, “now Charlotte’s parents want to contest my custody of Mimi — they don’t think I should be allowed to raise her.”

Big Ben drained his can of beer and crushed it. “Now is that on account them thinking there was somethin’ between you and Charlotte?” His steel-gray eyes were focused on Lily.

“Well, uh . . . there was something between Charlotte and me,” Lily said, as Ben shot her a warning glance. “But that was before I met Benny Jack here.”

“Hmm.” Big Ben scratched his beard thoughtfully. “Well, I don’t even pretend to understand what it is you young people do today, but what I want to know is this: The two of y’all has a real marriage, right? You’re devoted to each other, with no hanky-panky on the side?”

“We are,” Ben and Lily said in unison.

“And y’all wanna make a real family for this little girl?”

“Yes.”

“All right, then. First thing in the mornin’, I’ll get ole Buzz Dobson on the phone ... he’s our family lawyer. And Lily, you just tell Charlotte’s parents to come on down to the Faulkner County Courthouse, and we’ll have a big can o’ whupass waitin’ for ’em.”

Lily and Ben lay in their marital bed, not consummating a thing. “You think you’re gonna be able to do this?” Ben asked.

“Do what?” Lily gasped. She was a little nervous about his question, given where they were.

“Fake this whole marriage act for as long as it takes?”

“I think so. It’s awfully fucking weird, though. This whole day has reminded me of when I was experimenting with hallucinogens in college.”

“I know what you mean — not about the drugs, but about the weirdness. Tomorrow we’ll see if we can rent an apartment ... that way we’ll be out from under my parents’ watchful eyes. Plus, we won’t be stuck in the same bed.”

“That’d be cool. This isn’t so bad, though. When I was little I used to sleep in the same bed with my cousins. It’s kinda like that.” She listened to her stomach rumble. “One thing we’re definitely gonna have to do tomorrow is find some food I can eat. The only thing I could eat at the barbecue was that fruit salad with the little marshmallows in it.”

“Yeah, my folks aren’t much on vegetarian cuisine.”

“No shit. Even the potato salad had bacon in it.” They lay in awkward silence for a few minutes until finally Lily said, “Good night, husband.”

“Good night, wife.”

Lily closed her eyes and slept the sleep of exhaustion.

CHAPTER 6

Mimi had gone to the park with Dez. Finally, Lily and Charlotte could have some time alone.

Since Mimi had come onto the scene, time alone had become Charlotte and Lily’s euphemism for the lovemaking that occurred all too infrequently between them. Their nighttime attempts at intimacy were often interrupted by Mimi howling for formula or climbing out of her crib to scratch pathetically at their bedroom door. As a result of this syndrome of caught-us-interruptus, Dez had agreed to take Mimi out for a couple of hours every two weeks so the women could enjoy some uninterrupted time alone.