Emma McLaughlin - The Nanny Diaries

"DoyouhaveanyScotch?" Mr. X asks.

"Winewouldbegreat," Mrs. Xsays,smiling.

"Red?White?"

"Whatever you're having,"Mrs. Xsays. "Where aretheother girls?"

"Setting the table. Would you excuse me? I'm just going to finish getting dinner together," Caroline

says.

"Wouldyoulikeanyhelp?" I ask.

"Actually,that'dbegreat,if youdon't mind."

Jack and Mr. X go outside to do manly things with the barbecue, while we follow Caroline into the

kitchen, where Lulu and Katie, ages eightand six, are sitting at thetable, rolling up napkins and putting

theminrings.

"Nanny!" They leap up as soon as I come in, throwing their arms around me, much to Mrs. X's chagrin.

I pickup Katieandquicklydipher backward,holdingontoherlegs,thengive Luluherturn.

"Wouldyoumindtossingthesalad?" Carolinehandsoffthebowland aMasonjarfull of dressing.

"Not atall."AsI startflippingthelettuceI noticethesweet aroma of apie baking.

"WhatcanI do?" Mrs. Xasks.

"Oh,nothing.I wouldn't wantyoutoruinyourbeautifulcoat."

"Honey?"We hearJackcalling fromthebackyard.

"Lu, wouldyourunoutsideandseewhatDadwants?"Thelittlegirl comes runningback a secondlater.

"Hesays thegrill's ready."

"Okay,will youcarrythesteaksouttohim,butbecarefulor we're all having grilledcheesefordinner."

Lulupicks upthemetaltrayandwalksslowlytothedoor,star-ingintentlyatthepileofmeat.

"Wherearethekidseating?" Mrs. X askscasually.

"With us."

"Oh,ofcourse,"shesays,covering.

"I wantedtoask you afavor," Carolinesays, circlingtheislandtoputherhandonMrs. X's arm.

"Of course,anything."

"I have a friend from college coming out next week. She's getting divorced and moving back to New

York fromL.A. andI wonderifyouwouldn't mindtakingherunderyourwing abit." ,

"Not atall?

"It's just thatbeing up inWestchester I can't do as much to introduce her around as I'd like.Also, if you

know a goodrealestateagent,she's lookingfor a place."

"Well, there's athree-bedroominourbuildingthat's onthemarket."

"Thanks,butshe's lookingfor astudio.It's a horriblesituation?eventhoughher ex-husbandwastheone

c-h-e-a-t-i-n-g, none of the assets were in his name. He's incorporated or some crap, and she's gotten

nothing."

Mrs. X's eyes widen. "That'sterrible."

"So anythingyoucandotohelp, I'd reallyappreciate. I'll callyouwhenshegets here."

When we all get to the table, I'm charmed to see that the girls have made place cards by taking leaves

and writing our names on them in silver pen in three markedly different handwritings. Katie and Lulu

have asked to have me seated between them, while Mrs. X is placed between Grayer and Ellie and

spendsmuchofthemealcutting meatandansweringEllie's questionsabouther coat.

THE NANNY DIARIES

Ferdie comes over andstartswhimpering forscrapsatJack's feet.

"We had aretriever whenI was aboy," Mr. Xsays, spooningmustardontohis secondsteak.

"Ferdie's a local, actually," Caroline says. "One of the top breeders lives just down the road, if you're

thinkingofgetting a puppy?

"Thisis sucha fabuloushouse,"Mrs. Xsays, changingthesubjectassheplays with hersalad.

"It wasbuiltbyCaroline's grandfather," Jacksays.

"With hisown twohands,nonails, inthedriving rain,ifyoubelieve him,"shelaughs.

"You should see the overpriced beach shack mywife picked out. We'll be luckyif the roof doesn't blow

off," Mr. Xlaughs,corninhis teeth.

"So,Nanny,whereareyouinschool?"Jackturnstome.

"NYU. justgraduatedonFriday,actually."

"Congratulations!" Hesmiles atme, while buttering another ear of corn for Lulu. "So,haveyou figured

outyourplans fornextyear?"

"You're such a dad." Caroline laughs at him across the table. "You don't have to answer that, Nanny." Shestandsup. "Whowantspie?"

"ME!ME!" thelittleHornersandGrayer all shout.

As soon as the door swings behind her I stand to clear, but Jack stops me. "Come on," he mock--

whispers. "She's gone.Whatareyour plans?"

"I'm going to be the program associate of a children's organization in Brooklyn," I tell him in a stage

whisper.

"Honey!" heshouts. "It's okay! Shehas a plan!"

Carolinecomes backin,smiling, with a cartonoficecreamandninebowls.

"Jack,you're hopeless."Sheputsdownthecartonandthebowls. "Lulu,will youtakecoffeeorders?"

A gracious hostess, Carolineserves both pies, but there's little demand for thecold oneinthealuminum

dish.

"Mommy, I want a guinea pig," Grayer says sleepily from his car seat. He's out almost immediately and

theXesbeginrehashingtheevening, asI trytofind acomfortable waytoslumpbeneaththecanoe.

"Hewastellingme bythebarbecuethathe's managedtoexpandintotwelve newmarketsthis year? Mr.

Xis impressedwithJack's businessacumen.

"You know". heturns slightlytoward him, putting herhandonhis arm?I wasthinkingI couldgoback

with youonThursday. ecouldhave a romanticweekendinthecity."

He pulls his arm away as he makes a left turn. "I told you, it'll just be a lot of client entertaining. You'd

beboredoutof yourmind."Heplugsinhis cellphoneanddials withhis freehand.

Shepulls her Filofaxout andflipsthroughtheempty pages. "Nanny,one thingI wouldliketomention? shecalls backreprovingly.

"Yes," I say, startingtonodoff.

"I'm not sure if it's appropriate for you to monopolize the dinner conversation. Just something I'd like

youtobe alittle moreawareof fromnowon."

Darling, I. e gone over to the Sterns?for tea. I. l be back by five. Just a thought ?if you have to

go, why not see if you can come back to the island early Sunday morning, becauseh the Horners have

invitedusover forbrunch.

Have a greatmatch!

Love you.

~~~

Ihopeyourgolfgamewentwell. Incaseyou. e worried if I. l be lonely Caronlinehas offered to

keepmecompanywhile you. egone,sodon. worryaboutme. Althoughthey. equitebusy,but

I. sureother peoplewill thinkofme.

Seeyouattheclubatsix. Love you.

~~~

Darling,I didn. wanttowakeyoufromyournap?I. goingintotown.

I called the rental agent and she said that it. really pretty safe out here. She said she. be surprised if anything happened to Grayer or me while we. e here all by ourselves, so please don. spendyourtime inthecity worrying aboutus all thewayuphere.

~~~

Wednesday night, on the eve of Mr. X's departure, the three of us sit waiting in the Rover for Mrs. X. The original plan was to leave Grayer and myself home for the evening "to relax," while they had dinner at II Cognilio with the Longacres. But when they came home to change, Grayer screamed hysterically until Mr. X insistedthattheybringhimalong,sohewould,quote, "shutup."

After five straight days of running a virtual day-care center for all of the Xes' friends on at most five hoursof sleep anight,I starttonodoffassoonasI slumpdownunderthecanoe.

Mr. X jerks the cell phone away from his head. "We're going to lose the reservation. o see what's

takingher solong."I openthecardoorjustasMrs. Xteetersoutontothegravel onuncharacteris!

tically high heels, clad in a strapless black dress with a red cashmere wrap around her shivering

shoulders. Mr. Xbarelyglances atherbeforestartingthecar.

"Honey, what time do you want me to drive you to the airport tomorrow?" she asks, pulling on her seat

belt.

"Don't bother.'m takingthesixA.M. flight. I'll justcall acab."

"I wanttoflywithDaddy."Grayer,hungryand,ofcourse, napless,beginstosquirminhis carseat.

"Mrs. X?Um, you didn't get a chanceto see if you broughtanymosquito bite stuff,did you?" myvoice

echoesfrombeneaththecanoe.

"No,areyoustill beingbitten?I justdon't understand it. Noneof ushas anybites."

"Doyouthinkitmightbepossibleformetoruninto a drugstoreandgrabsomeAfterBite?"