Piers Anthony - Castle Roogna

"They're coming in from the Gap, Sir Dor," the parapet centaur said.

"Can you drop a shot to the southwest of them?"

"I can drop a shot down the leader's beakface, Dor!" Cedric said. "Right in her craw."

"Well, I really want it to their southwest."

Cedric shrugged "Colt's play." The centaurs gathered about the catapult, cranking it back and fastening its boom and lifting a hefty rock into its sling. They oriented the device toward the northeast and adjusted the elevation.

"Now repeat after me, until you strike ground," Dor said to the stone. "Harpies are birdbraincd stinkers!"

"Harpies are birdbrained stinkers!" the rock repeated gleefully.

"Fire," Dor said.

Cedric fired. The arm of the catapult sprang up. The missile arced over the forest, and the rock cried out: "Harpies are birrr-" and was lost to Dor's hearing.

"Now we want to lob the next one southeast of that," Dor said. "Until we have a chain of them leading the harpies to our due east, near the antenna forest."

"I understand, Magician," Cedric said. "Then what?"

"Then they'll encounter the goblin band in that region."

The centaur smiled. "I hope they wipe each other out!"

Dor hoped so too. If there were too few harpies, the goblins would still block the zombies' route; but if there were too many harpies, they would block the zombies' route. And the ploy might be too late. Already reports were coming in of tremendous goblin armies advancing from the south, and the harpy flights from the north were swelling voluminously. Castle Roogna was still the focus of the war, thanks to the continuing and dire power of Murphy's curse.

"Magician," a dulcet voice said behind Dor. He turned to find a mature woman standing on the ramparts. "I am neo-Sorceress Vadne, come to assist the defense of this wall. How may I be of service?"

"Neo-Sorceress?" Dor asked with undiplomatic blankness. He remembered Murphy saying something about a Sorceress who was helping the King, but the details had fogged out.

"My talent is judged to be shy of Sorceress level," she said, her mouth quirking.

"What is your talent?" Dor realized he was being too direct, but he simply had not yet mastered the social graces of adults.

"Topology."

"What?"

"Topology. Shape-changing."

"You can change your shape? Like a werewolf?"

"Not my own shape," she said. "Other shapes."

"Like making rocks into pancakes?"

"No, my talent is limited to animate shapes. And I can't change their natures."

"I don't understand. If you changed a man into a wolf-"

"He would look like a wolf in outline, but would still be a man. No heavy fur, no keen wolf nose. Topology is not true transformation."

Dor thought of King Trent, who could change a man into a wolf-a wolf who could do everything a real wolf could, and who would produce wolf offspring. That was a superior talent, much greater than this mere shape-changing. "I guess you're right. You're not a Sorceress." For some reason he didn't know, there were no female Magicians, only Sorceresses. "Still, it sounds like good magic."

"Thank you," she said distantly.

"We won't know how you can help here until we see what side attacks, if either side does. The goblins will have to scale the wall, so we can push off their ladders as they hook them over, but the harpies will fly in. Can you top-topol-can you perform at a distance?"

"No. Only by touch," she said.

"That's not much help." He pondered, oblivious to her grimace. "Maybe you better stand at the rim and change goblins into the shape of rocks as they come over the top."

"We can use them for catapult shot!" Cedric exclaimed.

"Good idea!" Dor agreed. "Now I make the stone of the ramparts talk, to distract enemies, so don't any of you be fooled. The object is to make the enemy creatures attack the wrong things, breaking their weapons or their heads and giving you time to handle them. Of course we hope they won't try to storm this castle, since they really have no reason to, but you know Murphy's curse. If the goblins and harpies leave us alone, we'll leave them alone. Meanwhile, you centaurs get as many blocks placed on the wall as possible; a single one could make the difference."

The centaurs went to work with a will. Stones were emplaced and mortared rapidly. This was a good work crew, when it wanted to be.

In due course, the King summoned Dor and Vadne to a staff meeting. Jumper was there too; he had been given charge of the east-wall defense. Magician Murphy was also present, to Dor's surprise.

"The goblins have sent an envoy," King Roogna said. "I thought all of you should be present for this meeting." As he spoke, a typically gnarled goblin entered. He wore short black pants, a small black shirt, and enormous shoes. He had the usual goblin scowl.

"We require your castle for a camping base," the goblin said, showing his discolored and jagged teeth. "We give you one measly hour to clear out."

"I appreciate your courtesy," King Roogna said. "But this Castle is as yet incomplete. I doubt it would be of much use to you."

"You deaf, or just stupid?" the goblin inquired. "I said clear out."

"I regret we are not disposed to do that. However, there is some nice level ground to the east that you might use-"

"Useless against flying monsters. We need elevation, battlements, shelter-and great supplies of food. We come in one hour. If you are not gone, we shall eat you." The goblin spun awkwardly about on his ponderous feet and departed.

"Now we have the envoy from the harpy forces," the King said, half-concealing a quirky smile. The oldest and croniest of harpy hens 0apped in.

"I saw that goblin!" she screeched. "You are consorting with the enemy. Your gizzards will bleed for this!"

"We declined to let the goblins use our premises," King Roogna said.

"I should think so! We will use your premises!" she screeched. "We need roosting space, cells for captives, kitchens for raw meat!"

"I regret we can not make our facilities available to you. We are not choosing sides."

That was for sure, Dor thought. Both sides were repulsive.

"We'll claw you into quivering chunks!" she screeched. "Making deals with goblins! Treason! Treason! Treason!" She flapped out.

"So much for the amenities," King Roogna said. "Are the ramparts ready?"

"As ready as possible," Jumper chittered. "The situation is not ideal."

"Agreed." The King frowned. "The rest of you may not appreciate the full gravity of the situation. Goblins and harpies are very difficult creatures to deal with. They are more numerous than humans, and have massed themselves, while our kind is dispersed all across the Land of Xanth. We can not reasonably expect to withstand siege by their forces without the aid of the zombies, and even then it will be difficult. The Zombie Master has been delayed-" He glanced at Magician Murphy. "But is on the move again." He glanced at Dor. "The question is, will he arrive in time?"

"An excellent question," Murphy said. "Shall we agree that if the Zombie Master fails to arrive before the battle commences-?"

The King glanced at the others questioningly.

Dor visualized the battlements. The goblins would have to scale some thirty feet of wall buttressed by the square corner towers and round midwall towers, after fording the deep moat. He couldn't see how they could be a serious immediate threat. The harpies normally struck by picking people up and carrying them away. The centaurs were too heavy to be handled that way. Why, then, was the King so grave? Even unfinished, Castle Roogna should be proof against these threats. A long siege seemed unlikely, because the besiegers would be killing each other off, and running out of food.

"What happens if the zombies don't arrive before the battle starts?" Dor asked.