Mardy Grothe - Neverisms

Ancient proverb say: “Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf.”

Learn from hen. Never boast about egg until after hen’s birthday.

Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with.

Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket;

and do not pull it out, and strike it, merely to show you have one.LORD CHESTERFIELD (Philip Dormer Stanhope),

in a 1748 letter to his son

Never Attack a Fortress Before You Drain the Moat JOHN M. COMER, title of 1983 guidebook for parents

about evaluating textbooks and instructional materials

Never try to milk a steer.JAY P. DECIMA, in his 2004 book Start Small,

Profit Big in Real Estate

DeCima was making the point that we should thoroughly investigate people who offer get-rich-quick schemes. He added: “You can only get milk from a dairy cow.”

Never Buy a Hat If Your Feet Are Cold:

Take Charge of Your Career and Your Life KEN FELDERSTEIN, title of 1990 book

Never rest on your oars; go forward or you go back.JOHN GALSWORTHY,

from his 1924 play Old English

Never have a companion who casts you in the shade.BALTASAR GRACIÁN

Never lead against a hitter unless you can outhit him.ERNEST HEMINGWAY, in a 1950 New Yorker profile

Hemingway was fond of using boxing metaphors to describe events in his life. In the New Yorker profile, writer Lillian Ross described yet another one that occurred after Hemingway signed a book contract with publisher Charles Scribner. Hemingway put down the pen, rose from the couch, and said, “Never ran as no genius, but I’ll defend the title against all the young new ones.” Assuming a boxing crouch, he then jabbed at the air a few times as he offered his concluding remark: “Never let them hit you solid.”

Never try to take a fortified hill,

especially if the army on top is bigger than your own.WILLIAM HEWLETT, Hewlett-Packard cofounder

A 1992 New York Times article quoted Hewlett as offering this rationale for HP’s decision to avoid direct competition with IBM in the manufacturing of mainframe computers.

Never look for a worm in the apple of your eye.LANGSTON HUGHES

Never insult an alligator until after you’ve crossed the river.CORDELL HULL

Hull was America’s longest-tenured secretary of state, serving from 1934 to 1944. He may have been inspired by an African proverb: “Never test the depth of water with both feet.”

Never give a man a dollar’s worth of blame

without a dime’s worth of praise.L. P. HUNT, U.S. Marine Corps colonel, writing in 1937

Never point a gun at anybody unless you mean business,

and not then if the “business” can be avoided.E. H. KREPS

These days, an admonition like this is considered metaphorical, meaning, “Never make a threat unless you’re willing to back it up.” But when Kreps, a gun safety expert, wrote this in a 1917 article in Fur News, he meant it literally. He added two corollaries: Never let another person point a gun at you, even though you are both sure the gun is not loaded. And never let anybody point a gun at somebody else unless you know he means to shoot him and you feel perfectly sure that he is justified.

Never sell the bear’s skin until you have killed the beast.JEAN DE LA FONTAINE, in his Fables (1668)

La Fontaine, the most famous French poet of his era, also wrote fables in the manner of Aesop and the ancient authors of the Panchatantra. The meaning of this saying is similar to the one about not counting chickens before they are hatched, described earlier. In Further Fables for Our Time (1956), James Thurber contributed a modern version: “Never serve a rabbit stew before you catch the rabbit.”

When you’re angry, never put it in writing.

It’s like carving your anger in stone.ESTÉE LAUDER

Never saw off the branch you are on,

unless you are being hanged from it.STANISLAW JERZY LEC,

in Unkempt Thoughts (1962)

Never dream with thy hand on the helm.HERMAN MELVILLE

The words come from Ishmael, the narrator of Melville’s 1851 classic Moby-Dick. He meant the words literally, but the passage has drifted in a metaphorical direction over the years—now generally meaning that you should never let your mind wander when performing a task that requires your full attention.

Never be a bear on the United States.J. P. MORGAN

In this observation, the legendary banker and financier suggested it was far better to be bullish on America. In investment circles, a bear is someone who anticipates a decline in the market, while a bull purchases stock in the belief that the market will expand. There is no agreement on the precise origin of these terms, but they’ve been used for well over a century to describe expanding and contracting markets. If you’re like me and have had trouble remembering which one is which, here’s a mnemonic device I’ve found helpful: a bull market is a full market; a bear market is a bare market.

Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.MALCOLM MUGGERIDGE, in London à la Mode (1966)

Never carry your shotgun or your knowledge at half-cock.AUSTIN O’MALLEY, in Keystones of Thought (1914)

Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.CLEMENTINE PADDLEFORD, quoting her mother

In the mid–1900s, Paddleford was one of America’s most influential food editors. Her 1960 book How America Eats is a culinary classic. In her 1958 memoir A Flower for My Mother , she fondly recalled her childhood and this backbone advice from her mother.

Never throw mud.

You may miss your mark; but you must have dirty hands.JOSEPH PARKER, in Hidden Springs (1864)

Since the Roman Empire, throwing dirt has been a metaphor for hurling scurrilous and unsubstantiated charges against an adversary. The ancient practice was even promoted in a Latin proverb: “Throw plenty of dirt; some of it will be sure to stick.” In The New Language of Politics (1968), William Safire wrote that dirt-throwing began to be called mud-throwing or mudslinging shortly after the Civil War. It’s possible that Parker, an English clergyman, was partly responsible for the shift in terms. In a sermon from his 1864 book, he strongly advised against descending to personal attacks, saying, “Nothing is easier than to use bad names; but bad names are bad arguments.”

Never date a woman you can hear ticking.MARK PATINKIN, on dating women who

are watching their biological time clocks

Never despise a bridge which carries you safely over.AFRICAN PROVERB

Proverbs from many nations and cultural traditions have been expressed metaphorically. Here are a few more, along with their likely place of origin.

Never try to catch two frogs with one hand. (China)

Never show your teeth unless you’re prepared to bite. (France)

Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance. (Ireland)