Mardy Grothe - Neverisms

including hard slides and head-on collisions at home plate.

The admonition about never showing pain appears in other sports as well. Legendary football coach Lou Holtz said something similar about letting an opponent see you in psychological distress: “Never let anyone know you’re rattled. They will draw strength from your discomfort.”

Never call a Scottish bunker a sand trap,

at least not in the presence of your Scottish host.JAMES DODSON, in Golf in the Homeland (1997)

A “sand trap” in America is called a “bunker” in Scotland, the birthplace of golf. In contrasting Scottish bunkers with their American counterparts, Dodson wrote: “They are designed to penalize you for making a stupid shot rather than frame a pretty green fairway or provide a soft white cushion for your 6-iron shot to the green.”

Never complain about an injury.

We believe that if you play, then you aren’t injured, and that’s that.ROY EMERSON, Australian tennis player

Never beat yourself.BILL FREEHAN, in Behind the Mask (1969)

During his fifteen years as a catcher for the Detroit Tigers, Freehan won five Golden Glove titles and was elected to the All-Star team eleven times (many consider him the most talented catcher not elected to baseball’s Hall of Fame). His 1969 memoir looked at the game of baseball from a catcher’s perspective (hence, the title). After the book appeared, his saying was commonly dubbed “Freehan’s Law.”

The first thing is to love your sport.

Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours.PEGGY FLEMING

Never charge a player.FORD FRICK

This was one of ten rules for umpires drafted by Frick, the third commissioner of Major League Baseball. Published in Baseball Digest in 1949, they were widely circulated. The tenth rule was about collegiality: “No matter what your opinion of another umpire, never make an adverse comment regarding him.”

Never trust a base runner who’s limping.

Comes a base hit and you’ll think he just got back from Lourdes.JOE GARAGIOLA, in Baseball Is a Funny Game (1960)

Never concede a base to your opponent under any circumstances.GORDIE GILLESPIE, baseball coach

Never order sweet tea in a state that does not have an SEC team.LEWIS GRIZZARD

If you’re from outside of the South, you may struggle with the meaning of this saying, which was inspired by a popular southernism: “Never order sweet tea outside the South.” The SEC is the Southeastern Conference, one of America’s major college athletic conferences. The underlying notion is that you can’t get good sweet tea anyplace else but in the South.

Never go to bed a loser.GEORGE HALAS, his personal motto

Halas, known as “Papa Bear,” was the owner of the Chicago Bears from the team’s founding in 1920 until his death in 1983. In the early years, he was also a player, and for many decades he managed the team. This was his motto, which he prominently displayed on a sign in his office.

Never be afraid to demand excellence.LOU HOLTZ, in Winning Every Day (1998)

Holtz completed this recommendation with an important caveat: “But remember, the standards you establish for others must reflect the standards you set for yourself. No one will follow a hypocrite.” In his thirty-three-year coaching career, Holtz coached at six different colleges, taking teams from all six schools to at least one bowl game. He is best remembered for his eleven-year stint at Notre Dame, where he won one hundred games. After he retired, he became a successful motivational speaker and author. He also advised:

Never shortchange anyone.

Never bet against anyone who is committed to excellence.

Never be overly critical of an individual’s performance.

First, find out why he or she failed.

Once you’ve established your good name, maintain it.

Never blemish it with a misdeed or false word.

Never take your attitude for granted.

Reevaluate yourself continually to ensure you are maintaining your edge.

Never borrow money from your ball club

and never try to fool your manager.FRED HUTCHINSON, his rule for rookies

Never think about what’s at stake.MICHAEL JORDAN

Jordan said the key to approaching a big game was to relax, and take your mind off the idea of winning or losing. He added: “Just think about the basketball game. If you start to think about who is going to win the championship, you’ve lost your focus.”

Never have a club in your bag that you’re afraid to hit.TOM KITE, professional golfer

Never forget a defeat.

Defeat can be the key to victory.MIKE KRZYZEWSKI, in Leading with the Heart (2000),

written with Donald T. Phillips

In his bestselling book about success strategies in basketball, business, and life, Coach K also provided these additional coaching insights:

Never let a person’s weakness get in the way of his strength.

There is always a way to win. Never say you cannot do it.

Never set a goal that involves number of wins—never.

Set goals that revolve around playing together as a team.

Doing so will put you in a position to win every game.

The time your game is most vulnerable is when you’re ahead.

Never let up!ROD LAVER, quoted in a 1975 profile

in U.S. News & World Report

Never tell your team anything that you don’t believe yourself.VINCE LOMBARDI

Lombardi was one of America’s most iconic coaches, best remembered for taking the Green Bay Packers to five NFL championship titles during his nine seasons as their coach and general manager (1959 through 1968). He also said:

Never miss a practice. Never.

Never be ready to settle for a tie.

Never take an easy opponent lightly.

Never practice without a thought in mind.NANCY LOPEZ, professional golfer

Never bet with anyone who has a deep tan,

squinty eyes, and a one-iron in his bag.DAVE MARR, professional golfer

The one-iron is regarded as one of the most difficult clubs to master, so a golfer who carries one—especially if he’s tanned and squinty-eyed—is likely to be skilled. About the club, Lee Trevino observed, “Not even God can hit a one-iron.” The legendary baseball executive Branch Rickey was fond of giving similar advice, but in a slightly different way: “Never play checkers with a man who carries his own board.”

Never take shit from anybody.BILLY MARTIN, quoting his mother

In an interview during his playing days, Martin cited this as one of the most valuable pieces of advice he got from his mother, Jenny Salvini Martin Downey. The daughter of struggling Italian immigrants who lived in West Berkeley, California, Jenny was a highly volatile and combative woman whose motto was, “Never take no shit from nobody.” Jenny’s second husband (and Billy Martin’s father) was Alfred Martin, a smooth-talking, guitar-strumming womanizer of Portuguese descent. When Jenny found out that her husband was becoming involved with a fifteen-year-old high school student, she tracked the girl down and beat her senseless. Returning home, she gathered together her husband’s clothes and threw them on the front lawn. When Alfred arrived home, the pregnant Jenny (with Billy in her womb) rushed outside and bashed in every window in his car with a hand mirror. The couple divorced before she gave birth. As Billy grew up, Jenny taught him that “Every insult must be avenged” and “To earn respect you have to use your fists.” After Martin’s playing career with the New York Yankees, he had managerial stints with five baseball clubs, most notably the Oakland A’s and the New York Yankees. Because of a stormy relationship with Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, Martin was hired and fired as team manager five separate times. As a player and manager, he had a fiery and combative style that made his mother proud.