Harvey, Jason - Achieve Anything In Just One Year - Be Inspired Daily to Live Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals

DAY

236

“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.”

— Horace

A pastor was standing in line at the local grocery store. He was in a hurry to get home, and the person in front of him had about thirty items in the ten-items-or-less aisle. After making several sighing noises and glaring at the back of this person’s head, he finally muttered under his breath, “Boy, some people sure can’t read the signs!”

The person in line finally turned around, and it was one of his parishioners.

Why don’t we treat the people we don’t know with the same respect as the people we know? When did road rage (or grocery store rage) become okay? Why do we lose all sense of decorum when we get mad? Anger is a momentary madness. It causes people to do and say things they normally would never do. This pastor would never speak that way to his parishioner at church, but in an anonymous situation, his anger built up, and he said something he regretted.

It is important when striving for success to learn to control your anger. Anger management is essential to success. You have to be able to diffuse the momentary madness that occurs when you let anger control you.

During the next few days you will read about methods for effective anger management in your life. Everyone deals with anger—some to a larger extent than others. The goal is to learn how to diffuse that anger and not let it block your path to success.

Your assignment today is to recall an incident when you got angry. Write about what happened and detail the results of your angry moment.

DAY

237

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.”

— George Jean Nathan

Today’s task is going to center around awareness. What happens to you when you get angry? Recall the moment you wrote about yesterday or another time when anger got the better of you. Try to remember what anger felt like physically. Did it feel a little bit good to get boiling mad? Be honest. Is there some sort of satisfaction you draw from getting your blood boiling over an issue that is important to you?

Experts say that a number of things happen to people when they get angry. Their blood pressure goes up, their face gets red, they clench their fists, and their body tenses up. Another very important thing happens. The brain moves from logical thinking to more primal instincts. In other words, you lose your ability to reason or think clearly. Instead, you turn to more of a fight or flight mentality.

Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound like that much fun. So basically when you get mad, you’re out of your mind. There is no way you can think clearly when you’re angry. The emotion takes over, and your actions are up for grabs. Do you want that?

Spend today thinking about times that you’ve acted uncharacteristically when you get mad. Write about them whenever you get a chance throughout the day. The short-term satisfaction you feel when you get angry may not be worth it if the consequence is doing something you will regret later.

DAY

238

“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.”

— Author Unknown

On day 231, you were asked to write down one hundred things you are grateful for. How is that going? Have you completed the list yet? If not, keep going until you come up with at least one hundred different things.

Today you are going to begin to look at solutions to anger issues. You will explore several different ideas over the next few days that will give you tools for anger management. The first solution is to walk away. The quote above says it very clearly. You are not required to attend every argument you’re invited to. Walk away.

That is often easier said than done, but it is a terrific reaction. Practice it in your daily life. If someone at work tries to bait you into starting an argument, let it go. Let them think they won. Just simply walk away. The more you do it, the easier it will be.

It can be pretty hard at first not to attend every argument you’re invited to, especially if you think you’re right (and we all do). It’s important to realize that the person on the other side of the argument is equally passionate, and it isn’t likely in most situations that you are going to change their mind. You can keep your power and your self-respect if you refuse to be drawn in to the conflict.

There are times, of course, when it is important to stand up for what you believe in and take part in an argument. However, nine times out of ten nothing is accomplished through bickering. Pick your battles very carefully and reserve your wits for the issues that mean the most to you. Practice self-control today and don’t accept the invitation to argue.

DAY

239

“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.”

— Jacqueline Schiff

When a pot of water comes to a boil on the stove, you take it off the heat. You need to do the same thing when your temper starts to boil. Remove yourself from a heated situation.

One great way to diffuse your anger is to take a walk. It’s healthy, and it helps you get away from conditions that are making you angry. Get out into the fresh air and breathe. Remember your priorities in life and gauge where this incident ranks in the big scheme of things. Also, when you go on a long walk you will have time to calm down a bit and think through the reasons for your anger. Are they justified? Or are you angry because your pride is just a little hurt?

Anger boils up quickly, but it often takes time to cool down. Give yourself that time. You don’t want to lose your right to rational thought. If you let your anger get the better of you and take action when your temper flares, you give away your power. Unleashing your anger may feel powerful at the time, but displaying a temper is never truly powerful. It usually comes across as reckless, irresponsible, and childish. Do you want to use those adjectives to describe yourself?

Your assignment is to practice positive remedies for anger. When your temper boils over, take a walk. Also, start keeping a list of other actions you can take to detour your anger. Keep that list close by. You never know when you’ll need it!

DAY

240

“Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.”

— James Fallows

Cliff was a top-level executive at an insurance firm. To say that he often had to deal with personality issues, particularly with his own employees, was an understatement. Nevertheless, Cliff never lost his cool. How did he do it?

He did not succumb to the “I’m running a daycare, not an office” theory that many top executives in large corporations admit to believing. Instead, he maintained his composure and found ways to help people come together, build on their strengths, and act like adults. He was a very successful leader.

You may be surprised to find out that part of Cliff’s success was due to one very simple practice. He wrote letters and emails that he never mailed. In fact, he didn’t even save them. When an employee did something that really sent Cliff’s blood pressure through the roof, he sat down at his computer and fired off an angry letter. Then he hit the delete key. Cliff found a way to release his anger without imposing it on other people. It’s just not helpful in most cases, and he knew that. On the other hand, he had to find some way to release the tension. After he unleashed his anger in a way that did not offend, he was able to look at the problem rationally and find a better solution.