Rex Stout - Too Many Cooks

“Good God, I don’t deny I’m drugged.”

“I know it. You know what you’re doing, and you do it anyway. Thank you for coming.”

Vukcic did then unfold his arms to comb his hair. He ran his fingers through it three times, slowly, and then without saying anything turned and walked out.

Wolfe sat a long while with his eyes closed. Then he sighed deeply and asked me to take the script of the speech for a final rehearsal.

The only interruptions that time were some phone calls, from Tolman and Clay Ashley and Louis Servan. It was six o’clock before we had another caller, and when I opened the door and saw it was Raymond Liggett of the Hotel Churchill, I put on a welcoming grin because right away I smelled a fee, and among all the other irritations I was being subjected to was my dislike of seeing Wolfe exercising his brain, blowing money on long distance calls and drinks for fourteen dark-skinned men, losing two nights’ sleep, and getting shot, with maybe a permanent scar, all for nothing relating to the bank account. As a side issue, there was also the question of a job for my friend Odell. Not that I owed him anything, but in the detective business around New York you never know in which spot it may become desirable to be greeted by a friendly face. To have the house dick of the Churchill, or even one of his staff, a protege of mine, might come in handy any time.

Sure enough, it appeared that a fee was in prospect. The first thing Liggett said, after he had got seated and expressed the proper sentiments regarding Wolfe’s facial casualty, was that one of the objects of his call was to ask if Wolfe would be willing to reconsider the matter of approaching Berin about the job of chef de cuisine at the Hotel Churchill.

Wolfe murmured, “I’m surprised that you still want him-a man who has been accused of murder. The publicity?”

Liggett dismissed that with a gesture. “Why not? People don’t eat publicity, they eat food. And you know what Berin’s prestige is. Frankly, I’m more interested in his prestige than in his food. I have an excellent kitchen staff, from top to bottom.”

“People do eat prestige then.” Wolfe gently patted his tummy. “I don’t believe I’d care for it.”

Liggett smiled his thin smile. His gray eyes looked about as irritated as they had Wednesday morning, not less, and they couldn’t more. He shrugged. “Well, they seem to like it. About Berin. I know that yesterday morning you said you wouldn’t do it, but you also said you wouldn’t investigate Laszio’s murder, and I understand you’ve reconsidered that. Ashley tells me you’ve done something quite remarkable, I didn’t gather just what.”

Wolfe inclined his head an eighth of an inch. “Thank you.”

“That’s what Ashley said. Besides, it was what you discovered, whatever that was, that caused Berin’s release. Berin knows that, and therefore you are in a particularly advantageous position to make a suggestion to him-or even a request. I explained to you yesterday why I’m especially anxious to get him. I can add to that, confidentially-”

“I don’t want confidences, Mr. Liggett.”

Liggett impatiently brushed that aside. “It’s not much of a secret. A competitor has been after Berin for two years. Branting of the Alexander. I happen to know that Berin has an appointment with Branting in New York to-morrow afternoon. That’s the main reason I rushed down here. I have to get at him before he sees Branting.”

“And soon after your arrival he was taken to jail. That was unfortunate. But he’s out now, and is this minute probably at Pocahontas Pavilion. He left here two hours ago. Why the deuce don’t you go and see him?”

“I told you yesterday. Because I don’t think I can swing him.” Liggett leaned forward. “Look here. The situation as it stands now is ideal. You got him out of jail, and he’s impulsive and emotional, and he’s feeling grateful to you. You can do it in one talk with him. One trouble is that I don’t know what Branting has offered him, or is going to offer him, but whatever it is, I’ll top it. I told you yesterday that I’d like to have him for forty thousand but would go to sixty if I had to. Now the time’s short and I think I might even make it seventy. You can offer him fifty at the start-”

“I haven’t agreed to offer him anything.”

“But I’m telling you. You can offer him fifty thousand dollars a year. That’s a lot more than he’s getting at San Remo, but he may have a percentage there. Anyway, New York is something else. And if you land him I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars cash.”

Wolfe lifted his brows. “You want him, don’t you?”

“I’ve got to have him. My directors have discussed this-after all, Laszio was getting along in years-and I must get him. Of course I don’t own the Churchill, though I have a good block of stock. You still have time to start the ball rolling before dinner. I wanted to see you earlier this afternoon, when they brought Berin back, but on account of your accident…”

“Not an accident. Chance is without intention.” Wolfe touched his bandage. “This was intended-or rather, worse.”

“That’s true. Of course. Will you see Berin now?”

“No.”

“To-night?”

“No.”

Liggett jerked up. “But damn it, are you crazy? A chance to make ten thousand dollars”-he snapped his fingers-“just like that! Why not?”

“It’s not my business, hiring chefs. I’m a detective. I stick to my profession.”

“I’m not asking you to make a business of it. All it means probably, under the circumstances, is one good talk with him. You can tell him he will be executive chef, with complete control and no interference from the hotel administration, and nothing to report but results. Our cost distribution is handled-”

Wolfe was wiggling a finger. “Mr. Liggett. Please. This is a waste of time. I shall not approach Mr. Berin on behalf of the Hotel Churchill.”

Silence. I covered a yawn. I was surprised that Liggett wasn’t bouncing up with exasperation, since his tendencies seemed to run in that direction, but all he did was sit still, not a muscle moving, and look at Wolfe. Wolfe, likewise motionless, returned the gaze with half-shut eyes.

The silence lasted all of a minute. Finally Liggett said, in a level tone with no exasperation at all, “I’ll give you twenty thousand cash to get Berin for me.”

“It doesn’t tempt me, Mr. Liggett.”

“I’ll… I’ll make it thirty thousand. I can give it to you in currency to-morrow morning.”

Wolfe stirred a little, without unfocusing his eyes. “No. It wouldn’t be worth it to you. Mr. Berin is a master chef, but not the only one alive. See here. This childish pretense is ridiculous. You were ill-advised to come to me like this. You, are probably a man of some natural sense, and with only your own interests to consult, and left to your own counsel and devices, I am sure you would never have done such a thing. You were sent here, Mr. Liggett. I know that. It was a mistake that might have been expected, considering who did it. Pfui! You might, I suppose, go back and report your failure, but if you are moved to consult further it would be vastly better to consult only yourself.”