The Theatre - Kellerman, Jonathan

At first he thought Doctor was gone a lot because of work. Later he came to understand that he was avoiding what waited for him when he crossed the threshold of the big pink house. The insight was useless.

On Home Nights, Doctor usually put his black bag down in the entry hall and headed straight to the kitchen, where he fixed himself a sloppy sandwich and a glass of milk, then took the food into the dark-paneled library. If he wasn't hungry, he headed for the library anyway, sank into his big leather chair, loosened his tie, and sipped brandy while reading surgical journals by the light of a glass-shaded lamp with a weird-looking dragonfly on the shade. Unwinding before plodding heavily up the stairs for a few hours of sleep.

Doctor was a fitful sleeper, too, though he didn't know it. The boy knew because the door to Doctor's bedroom was always left open and his thrashing and moans were scary, echoing harshly across the landing. So scary it made the boy feel as if his insides were rattling and turning to dust.

Her bedroom-le boudoir, she called it-was never open. She locked herself in there all day. Only the smell of battle brought her out sniffing, like some night-prowling she-spider.

Though he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he'd been allowed in there, his memories of the place were vivid: cold space. An ice palace-that was the image that had stayed with him after all these years.

As white and bleak as a glacier. Treacherous marble floors, white porcelain trays crammed with diamond-faceted crystal bottles, the facets sharp enough to wound, beveled mirrors that spat back skewed reflections, filmy hangings of white lace, dead and sickeningly ephemeral, like the molt of some soft-boned albino reptile.

And satin. Shimmering acres of it, shiny, cold, snotlike to the touch.

At the center of the glacier was an immense white four-poster bed on a platform with a tufted satin headboard, smothered by gelatinous layers of satin-sheets and comforters and draperies and pendulous window valances; even the closet doors were padded with panels of the slimy stuff. His mother was always naked, lying exposed from the waist up under a frothy satin tide, propped up by a satin bed-husband, cocktail glass in hand, taking small sips of an oily-looking colorless liquid.

Her hair was long and loose. Harlow-blond, her face ghostly and beautiful, like that of an embalmed princess. Shoulders white as soap, with little bumps where the collarbones arched upward. Rouged nipples like jelly candy.

And always the cat, the hateful Persian, fat and spineless as a cotton ball, snuggled against her breast, piggy, water-colored eyes shining with defiance at the boy, hissing ownership of all that female flesh, branding him an intruder.

Come-a-here, snowball. Come to Mama, sweet thing.

The stink, also. More intense as he got closer to the bed. Shit-breath. The oily liqueur, redolent of juniper. French perfume, Bal a Versailles, so cloying even the recollection made him gag.

She slept all day and left the glacier at night to do battle with Doctor. Throwing open the door to her room and surging down the stairs in a swirl of satin.

They'd start. He'd wake up, jolted by the bad-machine sound-a cruel roar that wouldn't stop, as if he'd been locked in a shower, the water turned on full force. He'd get up, still groggy, trace a hypnotic path from his room to the top of the stairs, then down each step, feeling the heat of her bare feet radiating from the carpet. Thirteen stairs. He always counted in his head, always stopped at number six before sitting down to listen. Not daring to move as the machine sounds began to separate in his mind, his brain breaking the roar down into lip-smacking growls and bone-crunching syllables.

Words.

The same words, always. Hammer blows that made him cringe.

Good evening, Christina.

Don't good evening me. Where have you been!

Don't start, Christina. I'm tired.

You're tired? I'm tired. Of how you treat me. Where were you until ten after one!

Goodnight, Christina.

Answer me, you bastard! Where the hell have you been?

I don't have to answer your questions.

You goddamn do have to answer my questions!

You're entitled to your opinion, Christina.

Don't you dare smirk at me like that! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!

Lower your voice, Christina.

Answer me, damn you!

What do you care?

I care because this is my house, not some goddamned motel that you check in and out of!

Your house? Amusing. What mortgage checks have you written lately?

I pay the real bills, you bastard, from my soul-I gave up everything to be your whore!

Oh, really?

Yes, really, damn you.

And what is it exactly that you're supposed to have given up?

My career. My goddamned soul.

Your soul. I see.

Don't you dare smirk at me, you bastard!

All right, all right, no one's smirking. Just get out of here and no one will smirk at anyone.

I paid for everything, damn you-with blood and sweat and tears.

Enough, Christina. I'm tired.

You're tired? From what? Running around with your candy-striper whores-

I'm tired because I've been cracking chests all day.

Cracking chests. Big shot. Lousy bastard. Whore-fucker.

You're the whore, remember? By your own admission.

Shut up!

Fine. Now crawl back upstairs and leave me alone.

Don't you tell me what to do, you bastard! You're not my boss. I'm my own boss!

You're drunk, is what you are.

You drive me to drink.

Right, your weaknesses are my responsibility.

Don't laugh at me, I'm warning you-

You drink, Christina, because you're weak. Because you can't face life. You're a coward.

Bastard goddamned bastard! What's that you're guzzling, Coca-Cola?

I can handle my liquor.

I can handle my liquor.

Don't imitate me, Christina.

Fine. Now get the hell out of here. Drink yourself cirrhotic and leave me alone.

Drink yourself cirrhotic. You and your fucking jargon, think you're a hotshot. Everyone thinks you're a pompous asshole-when I worked Four West, everyone said so.

Didn't slop you from licking my balls, did it?

It made me want to throw up. I did it for your money.

Fine. You've got my money. Now get the hell out of here.

I'll stay wherever the hell I want to.

You're out of control, Christina. Rambling. Make an appointment with Emil Diefenbach tomorrow and have him check you out for organic brain disease.

And you're a limpdick asshole.

Pathetic

Stop smirking, limpdick!

Pathetic.

Maybe I am pathetic, maybe I am! At least I'm human, unlike you the fucking machine who can handle everything. You're perfect-Mister Per… Doctor Perfect! Handles anything except getting a hard-on! Doctor Limpdick Perfect!

Pathetic lush.

What is that, Coca-fucking-Cola!

Get away, Christina, I'm-

Sure doesn't taste like Coca-fucking-

Get away-

-Cola!

-Oh, shit, you spilled it all over me.

Poor baby, poor limpdick! Serves you right! Slob! Whore-fucker!

Get out of the way, you goddamned bitch! Get out of the way, damn you! I need to clean this off!

Just throw it out Doctor Limpdick. Fucking Italian suit makes you look like a greaseball, anyway.

Move, Christina!

Whore-fucker.

MOVE!

Fuck you!

I'm warning you!

I'm warning you-Ow! You-oh, you pushed me you hurt me, you lousy stinking bastard! Oh! Ow, my foot-Look at you. Dribbling. Pathetic.

You pushed me, you goddamned cocksucker!

Drunken cow!

Piece of shit!

Fucking lush!

STINKING FUCKING KIKE BASTARD!

Ah! There it is!

You're goddamned fucking right there it is, you filthy hooknosed kike limpdickl

Go ahead, let it all out. Show your true colors, bitch!