John Wright - Fugitives of Chaos

"This was your plan? To wiggle and strip in front of Colin mac FirBolg? The world's only walking bag of hormones, the guy who uses testosterone rather than neural fluid to convey charge across his brain cells?"

"You know how much he wants to fly. We have to offer him something he wants more. Something he can't get when he is a bird! You are the one who told me his powers are based on desire. So!" And she took the skirt out of my hands and tossed it on the bed. "Start acting desirable!"

I stood there, my mind a complete blank. "How do I do that?"

Vanity said, "I don't know. Dance around a bit. Flirt. Make eye contact."

I tried striking a few poses. I tried folding my arms behind my head and arching my back. I wiggled my bottom at the bird. I gave him my best smile. The eagle stared at me with his yellow eyes.

I put my arms down. "I feel silly."

Vanity said, "Just do what comes instinctively. Girls know what turns boys on!"

She leaned over the footboard, pouting and making kisses toward the eagle, drawing her elbows into her abdomen so as to squeeze her breasts dangerously close to popping out of her black bra.

Looking at her sidelong, I imitated the same pose. "Is this instinctive?"

She tilted her head to one shoulder, then to the other, pouting and batting her eyelashes. And she was straightening one leg and relaxing the other, and then reversed, so that her hips cocked from one side to the other, over and over, a little sort of dance rhythm. It did not look particularly sexy or unsexy, one way or the other. More like the kind of thing a person did on an exercise bike.

She answered me: "You should know instinct girl stuff instinctively!"

"Remember, I am actually a squid with wings. I don't think I have those instincts."

"Well, he's staring at you. Project sincerity. Look at him sort of sideways and lower your lashes. Hmm.

More sincerity. Tell him you want him to rip your clothes off."

"Colin, please rip my clothes off, if it's not too much trouble…"

"No! No! No! Tell him with your eyes!"

"What? Blink in Morse code?"

She straightened up and put her hands on her hips, and her eyes flashed and her nostrils flared. "Amelia!

You're being obstreperous! He's trapped that same way you were trapped by Grendel! He rescued you, even though he got hurt! You can at least try to rescue him!"

That comment struck home. Here was Colin, my comrade-in-arms, who had jumped on Boreas the Wind god with nothing but a stick in his hands, risking his life so that we could get away. And he lost his life, his human life, at least, his ability to think and reason.

And when he was left with nothing but the miserable life of a bird in the wild, he risked that, too, and let himself get mauled by a bear in order to save me. The first feat had been to save the group. The second had been just for me, Colin's personal gift to me. My freedom and my life were from him.

Vanity was saying with angry passion, "Think of Colin! What would he do if you were stuck? If he thought stripping half-nude and wiggling his fanny at you would save you, he'd do it!"

What's funny is, I thought she looked prettier when she was angry. That stuff she was doing before looked silly and fake to me. But, if she knew what she was doing…

"Okay! Okay!" I pouted. "Just tell me what to do. I'll do anything you say."

"Well… it's clear we have to pull out all the stops… hmm…" She slipped out of her slip, so she was only standing there in her garter belt and panties.

"Hey, is that a garter belt? Why didn't you get normal stockings?"

She held out her leg, showing off her stockings, and looking pleased. "I thought Quentin might like it. Feel the fabric. Look at how sheer!"

I caressed her upper thigh. "That's nice. I'm sure he'll like it. Pretty color, too. I wished you had bought some for me." For the moment, we had both forgotten about the Peeping Tom with feathers.

Vanity glanced at the eagle, and I saw her face light up. "Oh! I've got it! I've got an idea! Here! Kiss me!"

I leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"No, no, a real kiss!" i straightened up. "Vanity, I am not going to give you a kiss on the lips."

She rolled her eyes in angry exasperation, stood on tiptoe, and threw her arms around me, holding me tightly. "This will work! Guys think this stuff is kinky!"

"How do you know what stuff guys think is kinky?"

"Colin told me! Come on! You promised!"

Well, I had promised.

Vanity stood on tiptoe with her hands on my shoulders, her head tilted back, eyes closed.

Kissing a girl was odd. Her lips were cool, and I could taste a hint of the lip gloss she used. There was nothing particularly interesting about it.

Of course, maybe that was the way kisses were supposed to go; my only experience was Quentin trying to shut me up in midair, and Grendel giving me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

When I pulled my head back, Vanity looked up at me in surprise. "You don't close your eyes when you kiss."

I said crossly, "Quentin got to kiss me before Victor did, and now you. I'm kissing everyone I don't want to! Life stinks." And I turned my head to scowl at the bird. "Change back!" I snapped.

But he didn't Colin was being stubborn.

Then, to Vanity, I said, "Arrgh! He's faking. He could change back any time he wanted! He's probably watching and enjoying all this."

"We're getting close! I can feel it! Here! Try this!"

Vanity kept one hand on my shoulder and put her other arm around my waist She raised her left knee to the level of my hip, struck a pose, and said to the bird in a husky whisper: "Oh, Colin… ? Amelia and I have been lesbian lovers few years! In bed, at night, she forces me to pretend I'm you, and has me spank her bottom…! Turn back, and we'll show you… ?"

Exasperated, I shrugged her grip away. "Oh, stop it Spanking isn't kinky, or sexy, or anything. It just hurts and it's humiliating. Like getting your foot caught in a slamming door. Vanity, this is really not working. Let's get dressed."

Vanity said, "One last idea. And this one I know is going to work! Please? You did promise."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Here. Turn toward the door. Let me put my arms around you again…"

"Okay, fine. Now what?"

Vanity suddenly seized my wrists and pushed them behind my back, crossing them and extending them toward Colin. "Quick, Colin! Amelia wants you to tie her up! She's into that sort of thing!"

I threw my arms up, so that she stepped back, off-balance. "Oh! That's the last straw!" I said. My face felt hot. I was blushing with anger or embarrassment, or both. "What a terrible thing to say! You owe me a big…"

But Vanity's face was slack with shock; her eyes were round as saucers. I heard a noise behind me. A rustle. Something larger than a bird was on the bed.

Vanity screamed.

I turned. I don't know what I expected to see, a monster or something. It was Colin. He was standing on the same bed where we had thrown our clothes, so we could not exactly get to them. There he was, large as life. And naked as a jaybird.

And erect. I didn't know they could turn purple colored. Like a big, sort of, tree, I guess, coming out of a fuzzy black bush.

I screamed, too. It seemed the thing to do at the time. I suspect my brain had sprung a leak at the sight of a naked Colin.

We both ran out the door, shrieking with the shock of it, the unadulterated embarrassment.

Victor and Quentin had just got done leaping to their feet by the time we nigh-unto-naked girls came running into the room, jiggling, I am sure, and wiggling all sorts of exposed surfaces we normally keep covered.

Even Victor, the unflappable, looked flapped at that moment. Quentin had his mouth open as the two-girl train of unclad beauty drove toward him, and I could see he did not know whether to laugh or cry or just drool.