Megan Hart - Switch

boys.

I worked my ass off. It was a game, that day, going down

that list and completing each task on it. And as the day

wore on and I finished item after item, my sense of

accomplishment grew. I'd never realized, actualy, how

much work I accomplished in one day.

I'd never thought to write down everything I did. Looking

at it at the end of the day, this job no longer seemed a

mindless drone. I'd done something. A lot of somethings,

as a matter of fact, and when I took that list into Paul's

office with each item boldly checked off and my neat

annotations in the margins, there was no hiding my triumph.

"Finished," I said and stepped back, waiting to see what

"Finished," I said and stepped back, waiting to see what

he'd say.

But, unlike my teacher who'd have probably dismissed my

efforts with a snide comment, my boss looked over the list,

ticking off each item with the point of his pen.

He looked up at me. I'd never noticed how blue his eyes

were before. Paul held the paper with both hands.

"Thank you, Paige," he said. "This is exemplary work."

"Thank you," I said graciously.

We did have an understanding, after al.

Chapter 15

Through the mailbox window I could see Alice, one of the

women who ran the office. I could also see the thin edge

of a folded note card.

I puled it out with the tips of my fingers and held it by the

edges so as not to muss the paper. Al I had to do was

bend, just a little, and slip it directly into the right box. But

of course, I read it first.

You've failed at every task I've set you. Your reward and

your punishment are in my hands. If you cannot learn

discipline, this wil end.

You have one more chance.

Today, between 5:00 and 6:00 p.m., you wil visit

Sensations. There you wil purchase the item that most

embarrasses you. You wil pay for it with a credit card, so

there wil be no question that the clerk won't know your

name. You wil engage the clerk in pleasant conversation,

so there is no way he or she wil not know your face.

And tonight, you will use that item until you achieve

And tonight, you will use that item until you achieve

orgasm. You will do this knowing it's not for your

pleasure .

It is for mine .

I had to put my hand on the wal and close my eyes after I

slid the card through the slot. The brass, cool under my

palm, did nothing to steal the heat from my cheeks, my

armpits. The inferno between my legs.

I hadn't been the one to fail. I hadn't been late with my

essay on discipline. I hadn't even written one.

This note was not for me!

Yet there was no question in my mind I would do as it

said. I had written the sexual fantasy. I'd read al the notes.

Whoever was meant to find these and folow them, I had

done it, too.

Looking back, I understand how much easier it would

have been, how much better sense it would have made for

me to simply complain at the office about the misdeliveries,

to throw the notes away. To knock on the door of 114

with a note in my hand and say, "Make sure these stop

coming."

coming."

I can't explain why I didn't, except to say, simply, I didn't

want to.

I'd moved away from home to get away from my past and

my life, and the life I didn't want to have there. I'd taken a

new job, found a new apartment, tried to make new

friends. I wanted to become someone new, but the truth is,

I would never be new.

I would always be me.

Somehow, whoever was sending these notes knew that.

I slapped the note closed. I walked around the corner to

the desk. I could see her through the office door and after

a second she came out. "Alice? Did you see who put this

in my mailbox?"

"Nope." She barely glanced at it. "It's not a religious tract, is it? We have a strict policy about that."

"No, it's not a religious tract." I kept the note close to my body so she wouldn't see the number on the front. "I just

wondered if you'd seen who put it in there, that's al."

"No, sorry, hon." Alice flashed me a grin. "What is it, love letter?"

I laughed when heat spread up my throat. "No. Nothing

like that."

"Wouldn't be the first time," she said. "Last year at Valentine's we had a bunch of anonymous notes coming

and going. The T.A. wanted to ban people from putting

notices in the boxes but then they realized if they did that,

they couldn't deliver their newsletter, either."

The Tenant Association could be a little overzealous.

"Maybe I'l get lucky next time."

"I wouldn't doubt it, hon," Alice said. "This place is a hotbed of lust."

She said it without so much as a blink and I had no reply.

Seeing I wasn't going to comment, she gave me a nod and

went into the back to finish sorting the mail. I looked down

at the note.

I couldn't stop myself from opening the note one last time

before I gave it back.

before I gave it back.

I was stil thinking about it as I went outside and faced the

sunshine for a moment. I knew I wasn't alone, but I hadn't

expected an audience. When I opened my eyes, blinking, I

saw Mr. Mystery watching me. He hovered over the

sand-filed tube meant for disposing cigarettes, and when

he saw me looking he stabbed his out with a furtive smile.

"Caught me," he said.

"And without a net," I replied. Clever.

He laughed and looked with unrestrained longing at the

cigarette butts nestled into the sand. "I'm trying to quit."

"Good for you." It was a little surprising for someone as

into fitness as he'd seemed in the gym to be a smoker. But

appearances weren't everything, and I should know that.

"Eric." The hand he held out engulfed mine as we shook.

My name wasn't a prize, but I offered it like one. "Paige."

Eric shifted on battered hiking boots. Today instead of the

long-sleeved T-shirt, he wore a faded black AC/DC shirt

under an open plaid button-down minus a few buttons. His

under an open plaid button-down minus a few buttons. His

hair, long to his colar in the back, ruffled in the wind. A

scruff of beard stood out on his cheeks and over his

throat. Dark stubble. He looked tired and disheveled, but

his hands were clean and his teeth white. The leather bag

slouching by his feet wasn't cheap, nor was the watch

tangled in the dark hair on his wrist. I noticed things like

that.

He yawned, jaw crackingly, and roled his neck on his

shoulders. He looked out at the sunshine, across the street

to the river. He looked around with a grin that stopped me

in my tracks and held a finger to his lips. "Don't tel on me,

huh?"

I laughed. "Your secret is safe with me. But it's a good

thing you're quitting. Smoking is bad for you."

He hung his head before peering up at me through the

fringe of his dark, shaggy hair. "I know. It's terrible. I

started in colege and just could never kick it."

"But you are now, right?" I stared down into the butt

holder.

Eric chuckled. "Yeah. I'm trying, anyway. Hey, nice

officialy meeting you, Paige. Maybe I'l catch you later in

officialy meeting you, Paige. Maybe I'l catch you later in

the gym."

Was that a promise? "Oh, sure. I try to make it in a few

times a week. After work."

He yawned again, adding a loud, drawn-out sigh. "Yeah,

me too, but I'm just coming off a twelve-hour shift. I'm

beat. I might see you, though. We'l work on some reps or